On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

@Manyrivers , yes, losing weight is an aim of mine and it happens quicker when not drinking. I lost 2lb last week which is good, but I'm expecting more this week.

@Amdone123 2lb is a good loss, I'm weighing again on Sunday and if I lose 2lb I'd be very happy! Wine = binge eating for me so it's a no brainer really.

Good morning everyone - I finally managed to be AF yesterday! I remember someone saying that they have to be careful to avoid the trap of thinking ‘well I’ve proved i can do it so I don’t really have a problem so it’s ok to have a glass of wine tonight’ and that really resonates with me. My plan is AF again today. There’s no need for all this alcohol.

@Amdone123 you are doing so well and your AF weekend sounds lovely!

@Bigbus Good Morning and well done for your AF free day yesterday. Feels good doesn't it 😌

My intentions for today:
Don't get stressed at work
Eat well
Don't drink alcohol

Have a great Tuesday everyone.

Morning, everyone!
I'm up with the lark, already put a wash on and made smoked salmon and mackerel fishcakes 🤣. You'd all be forgiven for thinking I'm slightly mad.
@Bigbus , well done on your af day. Here's to another one. You're right, there really is no need for all this alcohol - somehow along the line, it all got too much. Well, at least we're doing something about it. @Manyrivers , as usual I am loving the intentions - you can do it. Mine are similar !
I realised this morning that today is day 11 - straight run.
I've noticed this before, how it's very difficult sometimes to get started, but once you're started, it becomes easier.
Have a great day folks.

Hi everyone I know most don't know me but I'm so proud as I didn't buy wine today when I went shopping and I don't want to drink today ! This is big deal because I haven't had one day no booze recently so yay! The other day I woke up at 5am with anxiety and palpitations. @Amdone123 wow the fish cakes sound amazing I might look into a recipe I'm so not domesticated but I think part of that is because I spend my evenings boozing. It's ridiculous really. But I'm really determined lol to not drink until next Wednesday when we are out. Well done for day 11 that's bloody amazing what's your future immediate plans I haven't read all the posts unfortunately but I think is it this Saturday you have something on? Hi @Mj20 I hope you are doing well sorry I haven't been on much just felt despondent every time and had a F it vibe for past few weeks lol I definitely need to lose weight so one solitary thing that can hopefully motivate me is this. I'm pretty sure the weight drops off the minute I stop drinking for a week or so. Well done to everyone else working hard for their goals. X

@Determineddoris , you should be proud ! I don't know you but I'm proud of you ! It's a first step and you're on your way.
I know you've been struggling, but you're still trying. And you have a plan for April, so keep looking forward. If you don't want to drink til next Wednesday, then let's get counting those af days.
Day 1 ✅
Yes, I've got something on Saturday but I'm ok, not too worried. If I drink at the end of the gathering - it's during the day, so when my granddaughter goes home, that's OK.
But so far, I'm doing miles, miles better without the fecker 🤣❤️

Yes I hear you! Been having dodgy stomach issues of late which has also put me off the booze. It just makes sense NOT to drink but why it comes hithers me I have no idea it's like going back to an ex bf or like a toxic friend. None of what it does to me is good. I'm noticing myself not realising messages or emails I've sent either when I've been drinking ...so bad. I really need to concentrate on my eldest for the next few months and he needs me to be sober and present. My head is 10000 revs a minute it's like it doesn't stop so when I drink it blots things for a while, blurs the edges etc so I get relaxed. But deep down it's doing me damage!

Hi guys - good to hear you are doing well. I cant believe ive reached day 30 AF! Its a miracle - but the monster keeps calling so ive no idea how long i will keep this up……. But i am enjoying zero alco drinks like gordons zero gin and some of the fancy mixers there are now and pimping them up with lemon, lime and orange slices - so making something fancy for 6 oclock.

good luck everyone!

@bilbodog , well done ! 30 days is brilliant.
👏
Will you just go as far as you can ? What do you want to do for the future?
I can't say I'm craving it. Not massively, had a few rogue thoughts. I dread the craving really because that's when I'll cave ( I think), but having said that, if I only drank once a week, I'd be happy with that ( but not 2 bottles - that is no good for me). I'm best with 1 bottle, then a few beers. Once a week.

@Amdone123

im not sure what the end result will be - if i knew i could be trusted to have no more than 2 glasses of wine a couple of times a week that would be great but im pretty sure i would go back to drinking 4 or 5 times a week which doesnt sound too bad but it would be too much after a period of time and i would be back to drinking just because its 6 o’clock. I start to feel drunk after 2 (admittedly large) glasses and i dont like the feeling any more - but i miss it 😩

Wel had nothing last night as I was hungover but met friends tonight, had one glass and picked up a bottle on the way home!!!! Yup had 2 large glasses after that and now im off to bed!!! Not great but not too bad I suppose!!! @Amdone123 great loosing two pounds, that might get me going! I've a few occasions coming up so would love to loose a bit to feel comfortable! I just know if I kicked the wine even during the week, it might help! @bilbodog wow well done 30 days is amazing! I would love to get to that ! Any major tips that got you over the first couple of days! I find one dayus fine but the 2nd night is a lot tougher and that's where I can't! Well done everyone ..

@stoppingnow , that wasn't too bad what you had. I think I'd probably be happy with 2 or 3 glasses.

Morning, folks.
Feeling pretty rubbish this morning. I slept really badly, I've got thee most biggest coldsore known to man, and my hair is a mess !! And......last night, or rather early this morning, I was excited to see tennis is on this evening. The thought crossed my mind to get wine and just have a night off.
I think because I have been feeling so good, lighter, skin clearer, I basically can't cope when things go wrong !
Well, I can cope, I've decided !
I'm going to have a nice bath ( I'm so groggy), plaster make up on, have my hair cut and not buy wine, knowing that it will not make me feel good tomorrow.
Hopefully, I'll sleep well tonight and tomorrow I can wake up more positive.
Hope everyone else is OK !

@Amdone123 it’s okay to have a shitty day! Mine was Monday. I gave up on it! But you don’t need alcohol to make it better either, it probably won’t, if anything it will make the feeling drag on for more days. Hair cut, bath, and an early night tonight and I have no doubt you’ll feel better again tomorrow. You got this.

@Swannyb , thanks !

Hi @Amdone123 sorry you aren't having a great morning but love your plans of hair and make up! Hope you will feel better soon! Thanks for your support yesterday day 1 fully dusted. Thoughts of wine already creeping up for tonight after work but really don't want to. Husband is around too after work so I'm less likely to drink if he's there. The problem will be when he cracks wine on Friday night...also just been invited to a leaving drink for my good friend on Saturday! Wtf!!

@bilbodog well done on 30 days honestly right now that's my dream! How did you cope with cravings in the evenings may I ask ? X

@Determineddoris luckily i havent had many cravings because i realised i wasnt enjoying my glasses of wine much - it was just a very bad habit. I decided to stop and see how long i could go for and so far 31 days!

im drinking zero gin occasionally or just fancy mixers with lemon, lime or orange slices to tart them up.

i did read allen carrs book as well, below, which is simple but im hoping effective.

its early days so i dont know if its for ever - but i do feel more bright and alert without the booze.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Easy-Way-Women-Stop-Drinking/dp/1785991930/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2K3ZCSKXAD3E3&keywords=allen+carr+stop+drinking+now&qid=1679489452&sprefix=Allen+carr%2Caps%2C798&sr=8-2

Thanks @bilbodog ! I have so much alcohol free stuff in my house but I always reach for the poison! I also don't like drinking wine anymore it's a bad habit you are right like smoking I guess. I was wondering whether I should buy some cigs on the way to get the kids but I shall not. It's so hard isn't it escapism...I'll try tonight but stupid thoughts keep coming in my head. I still have the Allen carr stop smoking book! And I think I've already got that one so I will try and find it the drink one thanks 🙏

@Determineddoris , well done on Day 1 ✅. Hope you're doing OK this evening. I'd try not to think too far ahead ( Friday and Saturday), one day at a time. I know it's so hard when the cravings start. They're buggers !
Well, I got through the day. Had to dig deep to find some positive vibes. I was busy at work - I like it busy, so despite being tired, I was happy. Had the usual thoughts of wine, but played it forward, which seems to be really helping. I'm firmly ( and safely) ensconced in bed with my water !

I walked past Majestic wine today and remembered the deliciousness of wine. But then I was horrified to find that what I was actually thinking was how lovely to be chugging it down. First glass would be lovely, second ones always better, third because why not ( even if I didn’t really want it) and then last one to finish the bottle.

Even now that I’m able to function without missing wine, I know I can’t moderate. That is not why I drink wine. I drink wine because I like drinking it to excess.

Weirdly, not so much beer which I can stop drinking. And I don’t drink spirits at all.

Good Morning Everyone,

Great to read all the hardwork that's going on and the wins people are having. @Amdone123 taking that moment to play it forward is a great tool, sounds like your pivoting yourself off the wine path throughout the day with success! @bilbodog your achievements inspire me and I'm going to get that book. Thanks for the recommendation.@stoppingnow keep going and pushing through, we are all rooting for you to succeed. You keep picking yourself up and moving forward, you've got this. @Swannyb "you don't need alcohol to make it better", I want a sign made of that to hang in my kitchen! Powerful words.

This week so far Ive been AF 3 days, and I have not opened the lovely wine I got as a Mother's Day gift which is a miracle! I have a friend visiting this weekend so I plan to open it then and share it with her. Aiming to be AF until Saturday and having 6 AF free days this week.

Have a great day everyone.

Hello everyone! Just been catching up on everyone’s news!!!

firstly @Determineddoris so great to see some posts off you!!! And I think it’s really admirable to be back and looking forward despite having a challenging time!!! Well done you!!!! And I’m always here to message and listen to you!!!

@Amdone123 sorry you had a crappy day, very unlike you as your normally so upbeat and amusing…. But we all have our off days, so I hope you were kind to yourself!!!!! Hope your brighter today!

great catching up on everyone else’s news! @Manyrivers love all your intentions and @Bigbus congratulations on your AF day!!! Also well done to @bilbodog for an amazing 30 day run! Go you!!!! Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out but there’s lots of us now!!!

so update with me… as you all know I’ve been pretty much alchol free all year (2 times I drank 2 drinks)and had planned a sober March, but I was out on Friday and had two glasses of fizz and then on Sunday had 1 g and t! I’m really proud of myself as I’m quite good at abstaining but then struggle with the balance when I do drink.
My intention moving forward is to allow myself 2 drinks on occasions when I choose to have alchol but save those occasions for the times I really fancy it/special occasions!!!! I won’t be drinking this weekend purely as I’m avoiding building up the habit of drinking at the weekend!

anyway!!!! Keep up the good work all and @Arrrrrrragghhh i really liked your post it resonated with me.

@Mj20 I think that sounds pretty ideal. Two drinks maximum is a good cut off.

Most people who moderate anything including food/diet seem to have some sort of rules they follow. I have a naturally thin friend and she said she only has cake at the weekend.
My friends who can take or leave the booze have all said they don’t like feeling drunk I realise. Living with rules about drinking whether that be two drinks max or no drinking at all is the way forward.

@mj20 amazing achievement! I'm fairly new here so unsure of where everyone began, do you mind me asking where you were with your drinking before you started to moderate/abstain? I drank 5/7 days on average so trying to turn that number to 1/7 as a first step.