On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Good Morning Everyone,

As always it's so inspiring to read everyone's journeys and aspirations. This is day 5 for me being AF and its felt amazing to have this clear mind (and no hangover) all week.

I wanted to share a funny coping strategy I used last night, it's so ridiculous but it worked so thought I'd share it in a funny little story way.

Once upon a time the wine witch followed a middle aged women all the way home from work nagging in her head with statements like "you've had a hard day, just get a bottle of wine and order a takeaway". No matter how hard she tried to ignore the wine witch she wouldn't leave the woman alone. The woman contemplated doing as she suggested many times on her rainy 2hr commute. She was tired, a bit deflated and feeling low after a day of imposter syndrome at a high level work meeting, and the thought of opening a bottle of wine and stuffing her face seemed so comforting. Then when she was around 30 mins from home something in her snapped, for the first time in years she stood up to the wine witch!! She angrily snapped back at the wine witch, "It's your fault I'm fat, had rough days at work, not been the best parent I could have been, and it's your fault I feel the way I'm feeling. So no F#ck off I won't do as you say, your not helping me your harming me now get lost! And then the middle aged women drove all the way home, past all the shops and off licences. She sent the wine witch packing, got home, had a bubble bath, a healthy dinner with sparking water and slept peacefully all night. 😇

@Manyrivers , 🤣, I love it ! It could have been written for me !
I walked past the shop last night after work, with those exact same thoughts. Once past the shop, I actually said, Amdone - 1 / Wine Witch - A Big Fat Zero !
I wonder if a side effect of being af is talking to oneself 😇

Hi All! I feel like everyone is doing SO well. Sure, almost all of us have had some bumps along the way but everyone seems to still have some positives and wins.

I have just had a win! My DH and I went for a late lunch. We enjoyed one bottle of wine together (usually its two). We were discussing whether to stop at another bar on the way home, but in the end went straight home and I am happily drinking soda water in my comfies. I was planning on having vodka with it. I am going to be so pleased when I wake up tomorrow after a good nights sleep and headache free.

It isn't just alcohol, as I have been putting effort into a lot of things recently, but the past few weeks have been amazing and I can't remember when I last felt this happy. I hope it lasts for a while. I am also loving having this thread to come to and I am going to be utilising it when I go on my holiday soon. Happy Friday everyone, sorry to rub in that my working day is already over, but if it makes you feel better, I have work again tomorrow. 😆

@Swannyb , morning / evening !
Well done on your win - that is fantastic. Thanks for your post because it reminded me of something I was thinking about.
All of us on this thread are at different stages ; we're bound to be, we're all different. But the common denominator is that we're all looking to change our relationship with alcohol, and by sharing our 'wins' and positives, it's just brilliant.
It doesn't matter how many af days we've had, or if we've had a bump in the road - keep trying, keep reflecting - only good things can happen.

Love hearing these positive stories, still early days for me though , I think I'm still worn from the daily drinking! No wine last night so that's a win. My back is playing up at the moment but hopefully that eases soon , think I need a good week of good hydration so no wine!!! Hard, heading into the weekend but it would be such an accomplishment if I cud do. @Manyrivers love that story! It really is that kinda chat most days coming home ..

Evening all.
Hope you're all looking forward to the weekend, whatever you may be doing. I wrote a list of things I need / want to do, so when I'm sat thinking I'm bored, I can look at it and act on it. There's not a lot on the list ; walking, reading, watching tennis, cooking, cleaning. I've made sure that I get downtime so it's not all work and no play.
Well, this time last week, I'd started drinking about lunchtime, so was very tipsy, having consumed 2 bottles and smoked a few cigarettes. I thought I was happy and chilled, but I wasn't. I also messaged various people, talking, basically, a load of crap.
Today has been mellow. I've not done much. I've done some housework but mainly self care.
I had to laugh as I walked up the stairs with my 2 bottles - of posh sparkling water. Last Friday, I was clinking upstairs with 2 bottles of wine.
I'm definitely happier not drinking.

Hi all. Not quite such a good week (beer on Wed, large glass of wine last night) but still Much better than a few weeks ago. Stuff going on this week plus I've had this stupid "well I've done the moderation thing so I don't have a problem" thought, which on wtiting makes me sound even more of a problem drinker.

Good morning all!!!
@Amdone123 @Bigbus @Determineddoris @Manyrivers @Swannyb @indieray @stoppingnow @EnoughEnoughnow
have just had a lovely time catching up on everyone’s news!!!! What really stood out is how insightful everyone is becoming, to really understand themselves and their relationship with alchol! It’s also amazing that despite the ups and downs everyone is doing so well!!
how are you @Hohofortherobbers ??

all is well with me!!! I dip in and out as the group as I’m (mostly) abstaining really well now!!! Last night I went out for tea and had two glasses of fizz!!! Enjoyed it, but woke up this morning thirsty and kicking my usual energy!!!

I LOVE @Amdone123 idea of counting alchol free days as opposed to starting from one every time you drink. It’s a much more positive way of measuring our success!!!
so with that in mind…. In 77 days ive had 74 alchol free days and drank two drinks on 3 occasions!!!! Very very happy with that!

sending everyone all the best for the weekend xx

@Mj20 you’re doing really well! Can I ask - on the three days who did have some alcohol was it planned and was it something you looked forward to? When I was younger and trying to lose weight I used to only drink on a Friday night and it worked but now it’s kept up to Wed-Sat!

I hope everyone has a nice weekend planned. I had a few glasses of wine last night but not too much. Waking up this morning I had a horrible flashback to that awful feeling of coming round after a really heavy night and taking a while to realise where you are because you don’t remember coming home or getting into bed and not being sure where your phone is and having terrible fear as to what you might have said or done and then feeling absolutely awful and having a whole day ahead of you. It was awful. Why on earth did I do it? For context this was not all the time but I would say 6-8 times a year as I got older (more when I was younger). I never want to go there again. I feel ashamed to remember it. What a waste.

Anyway this thread has helped enormously. I have not been properly drunk for at least 6 months. I really hope this is a corner I have turned and that I have banished the wine monster forever - the wine monster would come out after 3 glasses and basically mean I would drink more and more wine and end up very drunk!

@Bigbus thanks for asking. So yes it’s been planned. I was abstaining but realised I love having a drink and Diddnt want to never drink again, so now I save it for special occasions or when I know I’ll really fancy it but will know before hand!!

ahhhhh big bus the sheer anxiety after a binge is what made me start this thread many moons ago! I still sometimes have nightmares where it’s happening!!! Awful! be kind to yourself today ❤️ xx

@Mj20 luckily that’s not how I feel today! I just had a horrendous flashback to how I used to feel. Glad to be feeling fine this morning and looking forward to eggs in toast. I never want to end up in that state again!

Good Morning Everyone,

Such an inspirational bunch on this thread. So glad to be here and share our journeys. ❤️

@Amdone123 I too have a job board I'm working through, beats lying in bed hungover anyday!
@colouringindoors your "not such a good week" this week is probably an amazing week compared to your worst week?

Keep moving forward everyone, there is so much good being done. I wonder if we counted up how many drinks we've all past up on in the last few weeks what would it look like? Or how much money and calories have been saved?

I'm not drinking today, may have a couple tomorrow when travelling, but that's a decision for tomorrow.

Morning, everyone.
Great, reflective posts this morning, as usual. One day at a time and it all mounts up. @Mj20 , wow ! #alcoholgoals ❤️

I didn't drink yesterday and can't say I missed it. Just been for a longggg walk with my dsis. We usually pop into the shops but we didn't really need anything so didn't bother. I'm glad really as even though I'm still motivated, the thought was there.
Keep going, folks - you're all doing great.

P.s - Mother's Day tomorrow and I had the foresight to ask my gorgeous ds to not buy me wine ( I've opted for pjs or bath stuff).
He replied that he didn't even know it WAS Mother's day 🤣.
He has a warped sense of humour - can't think where he gets it from.

@Bigbus glad your feeling bright today, I’m like you and the sheer horror of that feeling terrifying me!!!

@Amdone123 lovely to read your good humoured posts as usual!!!

quiet cosy weekend ahead for me xxx

Ah, feeling a bit down today. Ended up eating out and sharing a bottle of wine with my DH. That’s now 3 days in a row. It’s not just the alcohol, it’s the moment I start drinking I lose all self control with my eating too and I go nuts. Feeling very bloated! Looking forward to waking up and feeling better tomorrow. Hope everyone else’s weekends are going well.

Awh @Swannyb , try to draw a line under it. It happens sometimes doesn't it - I can be the same. It's sometimes one thing after another. You've got the right attitude, looking forward to tomorrow.
I always say I don't eat when I'm drinking but I can be somewhat deluded. And I certainly make up for it the next day.

Evening, folks.
Hope you've all had a good day, whatever you've been doing.
Well, possibly the first Mother's day I've ever had that didn't involve drinking. I suppose because we usually go out to eat, but we wanted a quiet day today.
I decided that today was going to be a restful day. I did walk 10k this morning, I've had a lovely lunch and a cake, read my book and we watched a film. Everything I wanted to do really.
I was thinking before how calm my days are when I'm not drinking. They're really lovely. Much different to when I'm drinking - I prefer the af days. Af weekend done actually and it's been great, no problem at all.
I'm out at a family party this Saturday. I need a plan as I'll have my granddaughter with me. I wouldn't get drunk or anything whilst i have her but I still need a plan.

Swamy new same here
I'm on the fast 800 Keto amd plan os AF all week but can drink red at the weekend
Disappointed in myself that 3 rd week in last week I opened a bottle Thursday night and ate a lot of unnecessary bloaty food all weekend .
Back on plan today and lots of water and tea
We can do this !

Monday Motivation, We have a new week in front of us and we can choose what to do with it!

This week I've had 5 AF days (cracked on Saturday and then was really annoyed), and 2 and a 1/4 bottles of wine over the weekend. Its an improvement on my previous habits where it might have been 2 AF free days and 5 bottles of wine! This journey is about me finding my path back to a comfortable place with Alcohol. I don't know what that place looks like yet, but I know this has been the most committed and honest I've been about reducing my intake.

I look forward to reading all your wonderful, real and inspirational posts this week.

@Amdone123 Well done on having a relaxing, lovely AF Mothers Day. Sounds like you had a great day. What are your thoughts on tackling Saturday night?

@Easterdaffsx a few days 'off' won't make a difference. You did really well to go 3 weeks! New day, new week, here we go! I am feeling much better today. Exercise, lots of water, nutritious food, bring it on.

@Manyrivers Well done! Sounds like you still achieved, even if it wasn't quite as much as you expected.

I have my trip coming up on Sunday. I hate that I feel anxious about it. It doesn't help that I will be with very boozy people who have no interest in stopping.

I am going to set a rule of only drinking in the evening. Day drinking is my speciality and that's when it gets out of hand. Fortunately, I go to bed early so the evening naturally cuts off how much I can drink and eat afterwards. I am determined to feel great by the time I get on the plane Sunday morning and again when I land back home!!!

@Swannyb , you can do it. You have a plan, so that's good. Do your best, it's all you can do.
I chuckled when you've stated daytime is your speciality - it's mine too. And I go to bed early !
The family gathering is Saturday daytime ( so, all the more reason for me to be prepared), but I'm thinking I don't actually need it ( the wine). I'm just going to drink beers ( no effect on me whatsoever). I don't want to drink when in charge of my granddaughter - I feel that she is the only motivation I need.
If I feel like wine later on in the evening, I'll have it when she's gone home.
@Manyrivers , keep going - you're doing well. You see an improvement, you've made many major changes and you'll get there.

Hi all I hope you have been ok. Just checking in. Had a wonderful mother's day but had wine and I don't regret it! I haven't been great moderating I need to make a plan of action but thinking April 1st is a new start for me!

So I drank for Mother's Day! We went out and I ended of drinking 5/6 glasses of wine ! Wish I hadn't now today. Eating crap food all day now too. But I'm starting fresh , no wine tonight which should be easy ! Hope everyone's doing good .

@Determineddoris , lovely to hear you had a good day yesterday. April is a good idea - you can only do it when you're ready. @stoppingnow hope you enjoyed yourself, at least. I'm eating cake today and I'm not hungover - it's cold and miserable though!

Weighed myself today and confirmed what I already knew! The evening wine and snacks have added 30 pounds 24 months. I can't let that continue, I want to be healthy and glowing not fat and tired looking. More motivation to add to my remedy! I knew I had put on a lot of weight but the number really hit home.