The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

Thank you @Adm1010 I’ve woken up feeling more positive. Making plans for early on Saturday morning to try and fight the urge Friday night. Will do the same for Sunday. I found that quite effective in January. My danger points are Friday and Saturday. Those are the days I used to plan my week around.

Have a good day everyone

@iamyourequal what are your partner’s reasons for not wanting to spend money on your teeth? If you genuinely can’t afford it as a family (ie it would leave you without a home or food or car) then I can see his point.
If it’s just because you might miss out on an extra family holiday then I think it’s a bit unkind! Teeth are pretty essential and part of our health! If we could afford it I’d hope my partner would encourage me to spend the money on my teeth. Anyway, perhaps it’s a discussion with revisiting, maybe you can explain to him how to missing teeth affect you (he might simply not understand the impact on you).

@50DaysAF, in terms of long term sobriety, all I can say is this: The benefits don’t all come at once, rather they keep on coming. 50 days in I was enjoying better skin, mood, health and sleep, but other benefits (like much more stable mood, fitness, knowing and liking myself better, career improvements) took much longer!

Even now almost 2 years in I am still discovering benefits. For example the other day I realised that only now am I much much much better at recognising when I’m about to flip my lid & de-escalating the situation. This has taken me two years of work, improvement and getting to know myself! I spent my whole adult life developing unhealthy coping mechanisms, so it’s not surprising it will take more than one month to unpick those!

And think about this: When I retire I will potentially have decades of sobriety under my belt! I will be sooo much healthier and able to be grandma, travel the world, enjoy my retirement etc. That’s the kind of really really long term benefit I am for too. I see a real difference in 70 year olds who have looked after themselves health wise, and those who have not. I want to do everything I can to hopefully be in the healthy group!

Sorry for the massively long ramble.

In short: The benefits of sobriety will keep on coming in, if you stick with it.

Good morning all.
Stressed over the last few days so not posting. Long story, I have a stalker and he's back. Full hour of therapy this morning spent on that!
Car good. Daughter out yesterday practicing. No hangover so very present!
I am enjoying the Annie Grace book (the af experiment). I like the way she deals with sabotage from others.
GP tomorrow and pleased with my AF progress.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies thank you for taking the time to share that, I appreciate the insight into what life can be like

hello all, wow @SavBbunny that sounds terrifying but glad to hear someone else is on therapy thursdays! I do like some alliteration in my life.

Great idea to think about those super longterm benefits @BunniesBunniesBunnies - I know we shouldn't compare with others, but I am hoping to see some distinction for all hard work now!!!

@iamyourequal do you track how much money you are saving by not drinking? is there a way you could compromise and use that to fund the teeth? I whole heartedly agree that healthy teeth are part of a healthy body and mind, so although costly now it should prevent issues in the future? Shop around as well, i had extensive orthdontic and veneer work in my 30s and a decade on it is still the best money i have spent.

@iamyourequal

I recently had dental work (two crowns and a filing).

I was first quoted £3500 for an implant.
I later found out it cannot be done on a front tooth so a money making exercise that could have left me with a bridge.
£1200 in the end and I look much better.
I believe all the wine effected my enamel. Also the steroids for my RA.

I have spent £200 on therapy and £60 on a red vein laser since giving up the booze. 61 days would have meant at least £300 on wine not including Sir Les Champagne parties! still a saving.
@fortheloveofgodwhy Therapy Thursdays I love it! Very funny.

@50DaysAF, glad you are on the up today. Keep at it l.
OMG @Savbunny. A stalker? That’s awful, no wonder you have therapy.
Thanks for the input on my teeth @BunniesBunniesBunnies, @Fortheloveofgodwhy @SavBbunny. I don’t think DH understands how important my teeth are to me, I get told ‘you hardly notice’ when I bring it up-which is rubbish- it’s two upper teeth at the side and it’s very obvious when I smile. Bunnies, he has a very good salary these day, but he grew up very poor and worries a lot about money. In fact, the better he does the more he seems to worry. It’s the fact he is so dismissive about it from the word go. Anyway, I’m sitting tight and waiting to see what to do next. It is a lot of money I know and I don’t want to sound like a spoilt princess here. With my M hormones I never know what’s rational these days!

Have a nice evening everyone. I hope everyone’s looking forward to the weekend.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy the TryDry app gives you a running total of how much money you have saved. This year I’m am £79. That feels low but doesn’t take into account money spent on a night out, I only got it to count my consumption at home based on previous habits.

@iamyourequal you do not sound like a spoilt princess at all. I’m sure it’s not as noticeable as you think (I always find quirks like slightly wonky teeth kind of sexy😂) but if it matters to you and you can afford it it would be nice to get it fixed. I do feel for your husband too, it’s tough growing up poor and it affects your relationship to money all your life, even if you have plenty. Maybe a gentle conversation about his feelings towards money and what it is for (to make your life better/easier) would help too.

@SavBbunny so sorry about your stalker that must be so unnerving.

Tomorrow will be 23 months for me… Next milestone, two years! I just can’t believe it. I’m so proud and happy and relieved about these milestones coming up. Giving up booze is really the greatest gift I’ve given myself.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies well done you!!

Congratulations @BunniesBunniesBunnies. Oh my goodness you will be 2 years by Easter! Well done you. That’s so long and what a positive change for you from your posts! Do you think you feel confident now that there is no going back or do you still have wobbles? (if you don’t mind me asking).
(Also, thanks for replying re my teeth, teeth are unfortunately not a little wonky or damaged, they are…. not there at all - big 2 tooth gap at side …that’s what he says nobody will notice…😂)

I listened to a good podcast out for a walk after work on how we communicate with each other and get it wrong. It was very enlightening, especially between men and women and also mothers and daughters. It explained that often when a mother makes suggestions to her adult daughter it equates to hidden criticisms. Got me thinking (and learning!!).
Anyway, how is everyone else doing tonight? All holding strong? Nosecco? Fruit tea? Nothing new here but we are to go out for dinner tomorrow night for first time in ages so super excited. Sooo. going to have big pudding and a cappuccino!! And if it’s rainy I can drive .

How you doing @AlloftheTime?

Hi everyone.

@SavBbunny So sorry you have a stalker. I used to have one - an ex boyfriend, and there was nothing I could do about it as he was a policeman and they just wouldn't take any action I hope you can get some help.

I had lunch out today, and horribly felt myself waver. No idea why. If my lunch partner had ordered a drink, I probably would have done too. Why? I just don't understand. Anyway, they didn't, so I didn't.

Out tomorrow night for a friends birthday party, but am driving so am safe. KOKO everyone.

Congratulations bunnies 22 months is great in itself but the 2 years will be a great milestone. You have supported so many people on here including me.

I am on day 11 of no sugar! Finding it simultaneously very like giving up alcohol and a little easier than I thought. I mainlined sugar at the beginning and I don't regret it because it saw me through. But, although I have my moments (like being given my favourite vg chocolates today by a client) I am genuinely feeling so good.

Congratulations @BunniesBunniesBunnies!

I stayed dry. Pleased with myself as Friday is probably my hardest day of the week. Up early tomorrow so that was my motivation. It’s refreshing to plan my weekend around an activity rather then a hangover.

Thanks everyone😊
Well done on the no sugar @Breathmiller!
Happy sober Friday everyone

Sorry bunnies I meant to write 23 months, fat fingers.

Well done 50days Friday nights were my nemesis. Once I had gotten past them I felt like I had a fighting chance of the weekend. I do still like a treat, a Friday night type meal, or crisps or chocolate, AF drinks or something more of a treat than I'd have during the week. But I genuinely don't miss alcohol on a Friday anymore. I used to think every day would just merge in to one non-letting go day. But it isn't anymore. I still see Friday nights as a kind of end of week event and start of the weekend, it just doesn't involve alcohol anymore.
Even on weekends like this one when I'm working all weekend. I let go a little and relax on the Friday night.

Thank you @iamyourequal dry as a chip So pleased I’ve stuck at it
Health wise not so brilliant - got a nasty chest infection and waiting to be admitted to a ward from A&E at this moment.

Funny takeout from today - after being asked so many health & lifestyle questions over a period of ten hours it wasn’t until 9.45pm anyone asked me how much I drank!!!
How very dare they not ask??
Only time I’ve smiled all day.

Looking forward to some sleep.
Have a good weekend all

AlloftheTime oh no I hope you are ok and they get you better soon.

I went to hospital today for a scan and was mildly disappointed they didn’t ask me how much I drink.

Not just me then DoingAway 😂

Morning all.
Up too early. Needed a pee. Large af gin and fever tree for Friday night treat along with lipstick shopping!
@BrightonBunny
My stalker is a solicitor! I wrote on MN last year and you wouldn't believe how many people said i deserved his behaviour! Had to change my name of twenty years to stop the trolls. The rozzers have actually been great.
I saw my GP today re my weight loss surgery and l am on track. Still ticked me off re four blips in 63 days (I thank you).
Husband said I hardly snore anymore.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies nearly two years, amazing. Well done you.

allofthetime I hope your chest infection clears soon.

Savbunny great to hear you are on track with your weight loss surgery. Do you know when it will be?

@iamyourequal I'm with you on the teeth. I chipped mine when DS was a baby because I sneezed! I was so down about that. Until I realised there is nothing to be done and I have to live with it. DH was unsympathetic but I was really upset. It's my front tooth and they were perfect until then! Thankfully, it isn't really noticeable although the dentist tried to fill it but it's impossible to get right and my brain made me grind them so got rid of the filling and wrecked the other one too! Again, I've had to learn to live with it and be thankful you can't really tell.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies 23 months! What an achievement. What would you say the long term benefits are?

@SavBbunny sorry to hear about you stalker. That ain't nice. I had a strange one years ago who kept leaving me gifts! It was an ex who didn't want to see me but wanted to keep a hold. Eventually, I moved and got a new phone so I could block him. Hoping yours isn't too awful!

Another Friday night done this week. Had Ben & Jerrys with AF wine. Not sure how bad a habit the treats are long term! I'll have to keep an eye on my waistline. I'm hoping it's just replacement calories rather than new. fingers crossed

Oh no @AlloftheTime, that’s rotten. How are you today? I hope they get you fixed up pronto. A Saturday in hospital x
Sorry to hear you’ve dental issues too @Newmum738. (It must have been a hell of a sneeze!)