The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

Whack-a-mole 🤣🤣🤣

Well done on 4 weeks/a month fortheloveofgod

Peri and meno is a bastard. Mother nature seemed to have missed my request memo for an easy menopause but I do feel I'm finally turning a corner after a challenging few years. The one thing I was getting before I stopped drinking was waking through the night with anxious feelings flooding me. They stopped when I whacked the drinking mole.

Day67 today.. 🤩 I'm actually starting to feel so much better. Much clearer head and definitely more focused.

Thank you do much all of you for the encouraging messages. I feel really quite emotional to read them and so grateful to have support from you as people who truly get it.

Am feeling a lot better today - sunshine makes such a huge difference to my mood and I have the energy to tackle the sugar. I know I can do it, I've done quite a few low carb boot camps on mumsnet. I'm not planning to go that far now but I know it's a question of getting in the zone.

Thank you @iamyourequal for the reminder to post when I am struggling and not to hide away. I needed that!

Afternoon campers.

Sitting on hands waiting for the car.
I have been reading Annie Grace and I would recommend. Professional voice but not media or the end is nigh claptrap!

Hi everyone!

@iamyourequal you are doing great. Have you read Alcohol Explained by William Porter? I have read everything else (seriously) but this is really good. Lots of science but explained so even a thicko like me can understand it. From what you have posted I think it might help you.

@Borrowbox it is awful telling GP isn't it? I told my GP I was consuming around 50 units a week, but actually it has been more like 70

I also thought everyone drank at home!!!

Evening all .

Feeling irritated tonight . ( work related ) So I’m going to chill with an AF gin and re runs of Benidorm 😁

Have a good evening x

@Adm1010 Do you want to share? Tell us what the abominable fuckers have done to piss you off?

Congratulations @Fortheloveofgodwhy on 4 weeks and well done @sunseaandsailing, great you are really feeling the benefits. Pleased you are better today @sunshineforest.
Thanks for the book recommendation @BrightonBunny. I have only read the WP kindle sample but I have been thinking of downloading the full book, I guess it would be a good time to.
I feel for you @Adm1010. I can always tell you have a very stressful job- so you are doing great staying AF!!

How is the shiny new car @SavBbunny, pleased?

Mixed day here indeed. DH had a great annual review so I’m pleased for and proud of him. On the shittier side, my DPs have had a dramatic falling out I can’t discuss here but I am worried about them. I also found out the dental work I need would cost several thousand pounds, so that’s crap….gapsRus. But I’m not even tempted to drink largely thanks to you guys! So Yah! 😀

Thanks for the virtual round of applause peeps.

Sad to hear there have been some shit days around. I hope the week improves for you all.

@BrightonBunny one of my colleagues is an “ elevenerife “ type and most days I can manage …. Other days not so much . Yesterday they just got on my last nerve tbh .

@iamyourequal it is stressful . I wish I could share more sometimes but it’s potentially outing .

Another day!!! Elevenerife isn’t in today so at least I won’t get irritated 😁

Celebrated my birthday and 100 days AF on Monday! I'm feeling fairly settled into this new way of being. Last night, I drank a whole bottle of wine (AF) and have no hangover. Love that! There are still a few challenges but it's so much easier now than it was in the beginning. Thinking of everyone on this journey.

I have given up and feel much calmer. It's surprising. I think alcohol was making me more anxious around the clock.

Good morning all, I was hoping to join if you will accept someone who is provisionally looking to do 50 days, with a view to stopping altogether?

I’ve been on a dry Jan thread but the chat has fizzled out and after an amazing run of 44 days, I fell back into old habits.

I’d really like to get a 50 day stretch under my belt but I find it really hard. I know all the good reasons not to drink. I have a few issues. Primarily saying no. That feeling of missing out/denying myself. Secondly knowing my limits. I never really feel drunk so I don’t stop until I do and by then it’s too late. Thirdly my behaviour whilst drunk. Of late it’s been better but I feel it still there, lurking in the background.

I think aiming for total abstinence at this point may be setting too big a target but I’m desperate to do 50 days. Currently on day 4.

Happy birthday and congratulations on your 100 days and hangover free day newmum

TeaAndBuns great to hear you recognise the benefits. There are so many but less anxiety is a big winner for me. The daft thing is I realised drinking alcohol made me anxious so I drank alcohol to apparently ease that anxiety! That's where madness lies.

I've also just been reading another thread and it comes up here too, it did for me at the beginning - the anxiety about telling people you are not drinking. Working out lies such as I'm driving, got something important on the next day, on antibiotics or faking it with AF drinks. I just had one of these lightbulb moments of how mad society is in relation to alcohol that most if not all of us don't feel we can just say "nah, I've decided not to drink anymore"
It just shows how ingrained it is in society to drink.

I'm proud of myself for doing this. If anyone has an issue with it then that's their problem.

Just read that back. It massively underplays my situation. Maybe I’m slightly in denial. I’m on day 4 after another weekend of promising myself I wouldn’t drink and then drinking anyway.

I don’t know how much detail to go into on this thread. I read the OP about some terms being triggering and I don’t want to bring down the tone of a positive and supportive thread.

I guess it’s enough to say I’m struggling.

Welcome 50days. Nice to see you made it. I was just reading that thread and hoped you would pop over here.

I for one am fine with you being here with a goal of 50 days but with the intention to keep going after that. I know that the word 'forever' can feel daunting. So just take each day at a time with a deeper quieter voice somewhere with the intention of each day becoming every day.

The only thing I'd say that's different from the threads such as dry January is that it's not a countdown to drinking again on day 51. That would probably be a trigger for a lot of us on here. But, to be honest it doesn't sound like that's where you are.

So, hop in board. It's a wonderful place of support.

And well done on your 44 day stretch and day 4. It's up to you obviously how you count. Some people start again at day 1 as they want that tally. But others see the period of drinking in between (if it is a short time) as a blip. However you count it, you have done a great amount of time and shown you can do 44 days. And, then you didn't decide to keep drinking. If you are like me and many on here, it actually strengthened your resolve not to drink. So, well done. It took me a few of these learning curves to realise that this is the way for me.

Post as much or as little as you like, there's usually someone kicking around and it's always busier at the weekend.

Wow well done everyone on the milestones!!!

Welcome @50DaysAF!!! You are most welcome. The idea of “forever” is daunting at first however now I must say I find the idea of “forever” liberating, hopefully the same will happen for you too!

welcome new people, @50DaysAF i keep reading that as 500... justsayin' ;-)

day err...31 here, had a meeting at school about DS which i was anxious about, but it went ok - this afternoon a hospital appointment - this day has been a stressful one in anticipation but when it is over it is over! I find i am better able to manage my time, and less stressed about being early or over achieving in my organisation maybe? Could be imagining that.

I do think the initial glow of being AF (pink cloud is it?) has dissipated now, but I am not yet too tempted to drink. Keep on whacking the moles ...

Sober mummy talks about the wall around day 50-100 i think it was, anyone here have any experience of that?

Thank you very much for the welcome. Definitely don’t see 50 days as a countdown. Just the first milestone.
I’m very worn down by the cycle I’m in. I’ve been trying to stop for years and years. I managed it too when pregnant and breastfeeding but quickly fell back into old habits, despite motherhood.
I think motherhood just brought me more shame about my drinking. My behaviour isn’t just affecting me anymore.
Looking forward to hearing how to sustain that initial motivation and to avoid falling into the trap of feeling like life with no alcohol is deprivation. I’m a reasonably intelligent person. I know that’s bullshit. I can understand and feel the very real benefits of stopping but I always give in to the pull back.

I’m hopeful this time will be different.

@Adm1010 Oh I used to work with a massive elevenerifeer. She used to tell HUGE lies about things she had hadn't done.

After a while people used to just go along with it to see what bigger and better stories she would come up with. I felt quite sorry for her eventually as her home life was dreadfully unhappy, which was a large part of the reason why she lied/exaggerated and tried to make out her life and experiences were so much better than everyone elses.

Try to see the funny/pitiful side?

I have a big event Saturday night but have already committed to driving four friends so that's all sorted. I will try to pay attention to how I feel throughout the night. I suspect the only difficult part will be that first drinks order, then I will be over it.

I must be such a dinosaur. I thought you did a typo with ‘Elevenerife’ @Adm1010. But @BrightonBunny knows too. Does the whole world know this term except me!! 😂 (I’ve googled it now- know a few!)
Congratulations @Newmum738 And belated Happy birthday too!
Welcome @TeaAndBunsPlease & @50DaysAF. You can totally do this, it’s sometimes a bumpy ride, but chip away at it. I’ve been almost completely AF since end August. Never give up, be kind to yourself and you grow as you go. Have you been reading any quit lit? Many of us find it helps, and I really like listening to podcasts driving home from work (such as Annie Grace life stories), so I arrive home focused on not opening anything stronger than Sprite!
Nothing to report today folks. DH totally not in favour of us spending the necessary money on my missing teeth. I’m really peed off with the whole thing, but hope my anger will pass. I’m contemplating trying to up my hours to FT for a while to pay for it but I don’t my work will have such an opportunity for me to do so. Have a nice evening everyone.

Thanks @iamyourequal I appreciate the welcome. Small steps here.
I’m reading Glorious Rock Bottom at the moment. I will definitely be looking up some podcasts. Today was quite hard. I knew I wouldn’t drink but I’m feeling down. It’s so hard starting again. Day 4. Again. I wish I could just change! If only it was that easy. I know what I need to do. It’s always an internal battle. I’m tired of fighting myself.

@50DaysAF welcome . I recognise the cycle that your describing . If I sit down and think about it I’ve wasted 25 years of my life in that cycle . I spent many of my childrens young years drinking . It caused untold arguments and upsets . I’ve lost all my friends . I have no financial stability . And to top it all I now have liver damage .
If I can help just one person to break the cycle I will . If anyone in the early stages of the awful cycle is struggling just post!! Start the change . Get support .
Also remember to understand WHY you want to drink . Recognise that addictive voice … that push , that awful drive towards alcohol . Unless you recognise it you can never hope to fight it .

@iamyourequal glad you’ve learnt a new word !! Surprising how many elevenerifes their are!

@BrightonBunny I think they are a very insecure person but honestly it’s infuriating.. more because it’s work related . I want to tell them that blowing someone else’s candle out doesn’t make theirs brighter!