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Alcohol support

The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

972 replies

Adm1010 · 23/01/2022 13:06

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life Smile

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages Grin

OP posts:
Touty · 23/01/2022 23:37

Checking in Daffodil

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 24/01/2022 05:59

Hi Everyone. Thanks to @Adm1010 for the new thread. Re. the cross addiction, I was definitely someone who ate my feelings before I started drinking them. Now I'm not doing the latter, I'm being very conscious of not going back to comfort eating. One thing I've found helpful is the "sit with your feelings" idea, so basically just allow yourself to feel/ acknowledge everything (and validate your own feelings) rather than trying to make yourself feel better. If that's too uncomfortable, I aim for distraction (clear out a cupboard, water the plants, go for a walk, tax return (last resort)). I do find it passes. I also find I'm a bit more proactive about actually solving the issues now that I know I have to just sit with it if I don't.

Re AF beverages, I had a AF G&T on Saturday at a friend's which was ok but tbh just tasted like tonic. Quite like a Heineken 0% and a drink that isn't an AF version but is just nice is Cawston's Rhubarb Presse. Quite sharp and refreshing. Can't really get AF wine here so I haven't been able to test any of those.

Day 24. Feeling pretty confident about getting a "Dry Jan" badge but the following week is a big holiday here so that will be the test.

SavBbunny · 24/01/2022 07:16

Morning all. Excellent sleep last night.
Had to have glass of orange juice before bed. Needed the sugar.
Off on the hunt this morning for AF liquids.
Also buying myself some new books. Have read a couple of the AF stories but very blokey or as others have said media life!
What we need is 'mother drinks too much, falls flat on her arse at parties, pisses off family but crying out for new mates and support. Starts to recover through MN.' Best seller I reckon!

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 07:56

Thanks for all thoughts on cross addiction . The sitting with my feelings is a really tough one as obviously I used to smother them with drink and food . Now it’s just food but more of it . Going to think about my feelings today as I’m clearly bottling stuff up .

I’ve never journaled . Maybe that would help.

Anyway first day of my week off . Seeing my eldest son later then off to the hell that is IKEA to get a desk for my middle son who’s moving home later this year to start his teacher training .

My goal today is to listen to my body and eat when I’m hungry .

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 07:59

And @SavBbunny that book would be my literal life!!! Grin brilliant

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SavBbunny · 24/01/2022 08:13

@Adm1010

I hate IKEA but like meatballs!
Get a journal, I rabbit on all day. I had one obesety session. Had to write down all the times very fat, when I lost weight. Why, how. Etc. Trauma for me.
I lost a son in late pregnancy and my top job at the same time. Drinking and eating started then. How I have remained married I know not. Very bad behaviour. Some funny 😀
However I think the human body and mind are amazing. If we choose to live a different life it trys to forgive us.
I love the journals in tk maxx, they always have ones with badass sayings on them.
Just my cod thoughts. X

Kindtomyself · 24/01/2022 09:40

Morning all. That is a great idea @SavBbunny get writing or maybe we should all contribute with our stories.
I'm still feeling rough headache, achy, fatigue, low mood. I'm just trying to take it easy.

I'm also considering the cross addiction thing - never heard of that phrase before- I have smoked in the past definitely to try and suppress emotions. I also have suffered with anorexia

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 10:02

@SavBbunny I fancy journaling but think I’d feel self conscious!! Weird , but that’s my first reaction to sitting and doing it . Guess I should try though as this bottling up is not healthy .

@Kindtomyself sorry you’re still feeling so off . I too feel fatigued with low mood . Every day is a bit of a battle right now! I’m blaming January !

I’ve bought some fever tree tonic today . Expensive …. I’ll see what I think later .

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SavBbunny · 24/01/2022 10:14

Where does the fatigue come from? Perhsps the drink masks our doormouse tenancies?
We should be bright eyed and bushy tailed!
Not a medical person but i suspect withdrawal symptoms.

Breathmiller · 24/01/2022 11:21

Thanks as always for starting the threads drybird for holding thr previous one bunnies and huge thanks adm101 for starting this one.

I have a lot to say on cross addiction, personalities, comfort eating etc... but I am brain and body exhausted today so I'll just read through and sit with it all for a bit.

ChampooPapi · 24/01/2022 12:26

Nice one @Adm1010 🙏

Checking in 🙌

Onewildandpreciouslife · 24/01/2022 12:40

De-lurking to say I’m day 24 and exhausted too. I’m sleeping better but sooo tired. Maybe the last 3 years is just catching up with me. I’m seriously thinking about trying HRT - I’m not as sharp mentally as I should be and I’ve always blamed the drink, but maybe it’s actually menopausal fog instead.

indiesearcher · 24/01/2022 12:50

Hi everyone- it's been a few weeks since I was here - felt a bit low post Christmas admins have had a stinking cold but wanted to pop on and say hi!

Still AF, still feeling fab for it, but as a few of you have said in this new thread, I'm definitely replacing alcoholics sugar - Choc particularly. I want to try to address it but think I'll get through the worst of the winter evenings first.

I also have nutracheck which I use when I need to lose a half stone or more and i think it's fantastic - so easy and has a barcode scanner too for shop bought snacks/meals. So handy. It allows you to input exercise and tots up total cals used/consumed, across a day but also across a week. Really good app.

AlloftheTime · 24/01/2022 13:38

Just checking in at the 6 month point for me. Feels like my new normal and I’m quite chuffed with myself for sticking it out. Found it very difficult at the outset even though I was hugely determined to make it work for me. I had so many early nights and drunk so much tea!
I think I watched every episode of Gray’s Anatomy that was available free to view and reading some of the recent posts here wonder if this was one way of not addressing what was going on in my life. As time has gone on I’m trying to consider my thoughts and feelings and not ignore them. My eating is fairly unhealthy and I am at the point of working out how to address that. In the past I have tried the Harcombe diet and found that a good way to kick the sugar habit so might give that go again.
I can’t remember if I deliberately sought help on mumsnet or just stumbled across the previous ‘freedom’ threads - I’m so grateful to Drybird for starting this initially and those who have steered it since. I have no doubts I would not still be AF had I not been able to keep checking in here and having support from everyone.
KOKO and hope you’ve all had a good weekend and are ready for the coming week.
Dry as the desert here …….. 🌵 😊

Sugarsugar25 · 24/01/2022 14:21

Hi, can I join this thread?

I'm trying to stop drinking after relapsing last year after 18 months sober. I made a fool of myself on Saturday and blacked out with drinking, waking up to my partner telling me all the stuff I did and arguments I had with people. I'm generally not an argumentative person and I'm quite quiet - sometimes painfully shy.

I love him and I don't want to lose him. He's the best thing that's happened to me. I've tried to phone to get professional help - I had to leave a message but fingers crossed they'll get back to me.

VioletLemon · 24/01/2022 14:58

Hello, can I please join the thread?
I realise I need to be AF. Have had various periods of 6 months free but then feel I "deserve" a drink in the summer or weekend or Christmas and it builds up eventually ending in horrible drama, aggressive outbursts and shame. I had one of these nights last night. I have upset my partner and he has said he wants out. I think he's just angry. I hope it won't come to that. The shame is unbearable, I have a MH illness which is characterised by major mood swings which should be reason enough to stop.I just don't know how to feel more hopeful or positive today. My DP is a big drinker and has said on pervious occasions he will also go AF. However he has never stuck to it. I don't mind him having a few drinks when I'm not as I feel so relieved I'm not drinking that I don't feel urge. On the occasions I do start I usually can't moderate it or control it and keep going until its gone. I'm so sick of myself. My DP is in the spare room refusing to interact with me and my anxiety is high. I'm so embarrassed please remind me it can improve. Thanks.

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 14:59

Hi and welcome @Sugarsugar25

18 months sober is brilliant . Do you want to talk about your current pattern ?

Great step contacting the professional service . Which one is it?

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Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 15:01

Welcome @VioletLemon it can improve. You’ve taken the first step .
Alcohol will NEVER sit well with mental health issues but you know this

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Sugarsugar25 · 24/01/2022 15:20

@Adm1010

Hi and welcome *@Sugarsugar25*

18 months sober is brilliant . Do you want to talk about your current pattern ?

Great step contacting the professional service . Which one is it?

Hi Adm1010,

Thanks for letting me join. It's just the local NHS trust - they helped me last time.

It was great not drinking, for some reason I didn't drink through the lockdown. I just started because I thought I had recovered and learnt from past behaviour.

But I know that it's a bad thing to think like that and that you're always going to have to work on it.
Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 15:22

Recovery is so complex and frustrating isn’t it . But we live and learn . Don’t be to hard on yourself you’ve put the brakes on

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VioletLemon · 24/01/2022 15:23

Thank you so much for making me feel hopeful and less alone. I know that it really needs to go and I so want it to, the effect on my MH is so damaging. It feels like alcohol and the addictive pattern has got me by the neck. I've been in denial each time I've gone back to it. Thinking that because I'd gone 6 months I'd then be OK but of course it never was. I tend to smoke when drinking, also in a compulsive way but I never would at any other time. I need to be free. When I'm AF I am so content and appreciate all the nice things in my life. At the moment I'm just horrified and ashamed. Even the thought that this could be the first day feels liberating and positive. I can't talk to my friends about this as I'm pretty closed and introverted although I'm not sure people see that. Probably why I started drinking in the first place, it gave me false confidence. It's really inspiring reading others posts, I don't feel quite as alone. Thank you.

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 15:32

You are not alone @VioletLemon x

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Sugarsugar25 · 24/01/2022 15:36

I agree with being introverted and the false confidence that drinking can give you. I'm painfully shy at times and this gives me anxiety. I wished sometimes I was a bit more extroverted like everyone around me.

But I think as long as we've got this thread - it'll help. Everyone around me drinks and I think that having an anonymous thread can help.

VioletLemon · 24/01/2022 15:57

Yes, I agree that having this thread already feels supportive and I very much appreciate that atm. It's easy at these times of self loathing to recall back all the positives. Alcohol has been such a crutch for me and I'm really embarrassed that I can't control it, feels a real failure. I've confided at times in therapy but not otherwise and taking this step to say I need help and support to. stay stopped.

Adm1010 · 24/01/2022 17:56

So sitting with the feelings . Mmm . Not going to go into to much but I’m feeling a bit angry and resentful . I’ve not damped it down with anything . I guess I’ll ride it out and see where it takes me

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