Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Adoption

256 replies

Lancome · 31/12/2015 16:38

I didn't know where to post this, but can anyone tell me if it's possible to Un- adopt a child. Give up all parental responsibilities?

OP posts:
Doubletrouble99 · 31/12/2015 16:41

What do you mean? Hand them back?

InTheBox · 31/12/2015 16:42

Yes it's possible. It'd be similar to sending them back into care as it were.

RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 16:43

One you already adopted or one you gave birth to?

Is this hypothetical or are you having a bad time?

3point14159265359 · 31/12/2015 16:47

Even if you are able to 'return them to care', you'd retain parental responsibility. Why are you asking?

AndNowItsSeven · 31/12/2015 16:47

No, not unless they are re adopted, even a care order is shared pr with the LA.

AndNowItsSeven · 31/12/2015 16:48

Why are you asking op?

listsandbudgets · 31/12/2015 16:50

Yes OP it is. There is an adoption board on Mumsnet (look under becoming a parent). They will have a lot more knowledge on the issues and be able to support and advise you better.

I hope this is a hypothetical question and that if not you are able to sort out the issues you are facing.

listsandbudgets · 31/12/2015 16:51

Sorry sentence should have read "yes op it is possible to return them to care"

Original poster
Lancome · 31/12/2015 16:53

A friend has reached the limit with this child.
Short story: The child was adopted at 2- parents divorced when child was 9.
Mother has done EVERYTHING for the child- provided for him and I mean everything. Father - Nil.
Mother has taken child to boarding school (paid) because father has no job.
Child went to visit father for Xmas, now does not want come back to Mother!
To say she's heartbroken is understatement- she feels it's best to let him go. ( for good).

OP posts:
JakeBallardswife · 31/12/2015 16:55

Maybe boarding school wasn't the best thing for a child

JakeBallardswife · 31/12/2015 16:56

Grr- on phone & posted too soon. Not a child, this child who perhaps may need the constant boundaries of being at home. They've had a lot of upheaval in their life.

RJnomore1 · 31/12/2015 17:00

I don't think giving up pr is the right thing. I also think being adopted is a red herring here. How old is the child?

tectonicplates · 31/12/2015 17:01

So the dad does nothing, child visits at Christmas then suddenly doesn't want to go home? Is he being a Disney Dad or telling the child lies about your friend?

Original poster
Lancome · 31/12/2015 17:01

The child 'nagged' the mother to go to boading school- she feels she can't do enough.

OP posts:
FayKorgasm · 31/12/2015 17:01

She doesn't sound particularly bonded to the child. Of course she should do everything for the child if the useless father hasn't paid. Has she contacted CMS?

FayKorgasm · 31/12/2015 17:02

And YY to Disney dad. Lots of useless parents play this role.

TessDurbeyfield · 31/12/2015 17:03

No she cannot un-adopt her son. He is her son in the eyes of the law in exactly the same way as if she had given birth to him. The only way in which she could lose her parental responsibilities would be in the same way as for a birth child i.e. the child is adopted again.

I agree with RJ - the adoption issue is a red herring. This kind of situation can, and does, happen with birth children with separated parents and the adoption issue may complicate emotions but ultimately doesn't change the law or the solutions.

FayKorgasm · 31/12/2015 17:04

And children will nag for all sorts of things,best thing a parent can do is say no to most some of them.

Original poster
Lancome · 31/12/2015 17:05

CMS- you mean Child Maintenance? I'm not sure- but I think that's too late now.
I think she's very bonded with the child- which is why she feels let down and it's paining her to the core- as she says - she's invested too much (emotionally) and fears that one day something more hurtful will happen? (if that makes sense).

OP posts:
doitanyways · 31/12/2015 17:08

It's possible though heartbreaking and I believe the term is broken down adoption - it happened to friends of mine once.

Original poster
Lancome · 31/12/2015 17:16

It's a very very sad situation, especially at this time of the year.

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 31/12/2015 17:17

Let down by who? Her child is not responsible for her emotional well being.

Vixxfacee · 31/12/2015 17:23

Because the child is adopted the mother thinks she can unadopt. Wtf.
If the child wasn't adopted what would she do? One of the worst things I've read on here.

doitanyways · 31/12/2015 17:23

It's not quite like that vixx

Vixxfacee · 31/12/2015 17:26

What do you mean?

Swipe left for the next trending thread