Rules for being old

[TheFamousSix]

This is a bit mean spirited but I am writing myself a list of rules for when I am old based on the things I am struggling with regarding my own parents.

My list so far

Your kids do not care about your friends' illnesses (unless it impacts you eg your friend is dying or you are caring for them)

If you wouldn't say it to your daughter in law then don't say it to your daughter (eg judgement of parenting things)

Only offer food once, or twice max. It is not generous to offer a dozen times, just annoying.

Any others?

Hopefully by the time you're old, you'll have a bit more grace towards your parents.

Phones work both ways - you can call your child from time to time

Don't bother. By the time you get to your parents' age you'll have forgotten them and be just as annoying as you find them.

You will annoy your kids anyway just in totally different ways.

That youngsters won’t fully get what it’s like to get older and that’s ok.

STOP FUCKING HOARDING

I rarely call my children as they're busy with work and my grand children's schooling, clubs etc. I've told them this and they're happy with it. I'd rather have a relaxed call when it suits them. I text regularly and meet often.

This thread will bomb because you cannot say anything bad about older people!

this

Quick death, no slow decline.

Don't complain about being unwell but then refuse to see a doctor. Actually, this goes for DP too.

Yes, this.

You can buy death/end of life planners now so filling that in and keeping it up to date, and getting rid of random paperwork and crap will be my gifts to my family.

Stop buying stuff off Facebook

Remember how important you are to your child and their family, and what a massive difference you can make.
Be kind and welcoming to other grandparents and their relatives to make the family as happy as possible.
React with interest and curiosity.
Don't ever feel guilty and appreciate that they understand you might be struggling with things. Don't refuse help or let pride get in the way.

My kids are young, but I'm at the stage where we're starting to lose family, so I'm doing all we can to help them and make them feel welcome when they need more help. Some of my in-laws seemed nervous at first about sharing their ideas/worried about suggesting things or seeming demanding, but by talking about things from their past, it's given us all great family times-so save things (books/diaries etc) and share them often.

Your DC isn't avoiding you. They are rushed off their feet busy with work, kids, LIFE in general.

They did have whatever it is back in your day.

The way you remember it isn't necessarily how it happened. Especially not if you're the hero of this story.

It was just as offensive then.

I'm in my 70's and have short term memory issues. I know must be repeating myself.
Thank goodness my son is understanding and is a good listener. He listens because any minute, he knows I'm going to say something off the wall and outrageous. I have a faulty filter. We have a good laugh anyway.

I'm in my 70's and have short term memory issues. I must be repeating myself.

Oh about hoarding. Maybe your dearly loved older relatives, who hoard, will have a big clear-out soon. If they don't do it on their own, I'd suggest it as an offer to help to sort, label their memories. Then toss all the rubbish while they're not looking.

There's a time when many people get into their mid-70's they start have a big sort out so they're not leaving their loved ones a lot of weird stuff to go through. I thought this was so depressing when older people told me they were doing it.

Anyway, I've started my big sort out.

I just opened an old Quality Street tin and found it full of those little pictures we used to take of ourselves in the bus station photo booth, while on our way to all-nighters. Pupils enlarged, mouths full of chewing gum. It seems like yesterday, but it was the late 1960's.

All those old photos, back from when people actually had proper photos...

Please, please write the details of who they are on the back and where/when they were taken, especially the ones of family members of previous generations. I have a whole box full of ancient black & white photos, and I know that some of them must be my ancestors and other family, plus their homes and streets where they lived. I don't know who they are, and there is no-one left alive to ask.

Mobility scooters are designed for transporting people, not furniture 😑

@sherbetlemonade I totally agree with this. I binned any photos if I didn’t know who they were, when they were or when they were taken. Also, if they were really bad photos, blurred etc. I kept a fair few though despite binning probably 1000 or so

Just because something is outside your immediate frame of reference or experience doesn't make it "wacky".

Just because someone says something vaguely intelligent or cerebral doesn't mean they are "trying to be clever".

Accept help when you need it rather than being a martyr
Try to remember who gave you which present when re-gifting
Be aware your eyesight might not show you everything stuck on cutlery and plates if you refuse to use the dishwasher.

😂

Try and stay active!