Rules for being old

[TheFamousSix]

This is a bit mean spirited but I am writing myself a list of rules for when I am old based on the things I am struggling with regarding my own parents.

My list so far

Your kids do not care about your friends' illnesses (unless it impacts you eg your friend is dying or you are caring for them)

If you wouldn't say it to your daughter in law then don't say it to your daughter (eg judgement of parenting things)

Only offer food once, or twice max. It is not generous to offer a dozen times, just annoying.

Any others?

Or when you say 'oof' when you get up off a low chair 😅

Do people think care homes are like the Golden Girls? In the US, people often choose a retirement home because they are stuck in a big house with no public transport. Here there isn't the same need and most people are there because they have huge care needs which probably can't be met at home - it isn't a positive option for most people.

Young ‘uns these days…

My grandson told me he thought his mum and dad are old - late thirties- I didn’t dare ask any further

Or any chair!

I rememeber when I was a kid, taking flowers to "old people" because it was a kind thing to do. They were probably in their early 50's.

Don't tell your adults kids they should stop rushing around all the time when they have kids amd work and you keep adding to their to do list by giving them more jobs!

That's not old!!!

It's neither performative nor passive aggressive. As my grandchildren reach 18 I am giving them a substantial gift in the form of a cheque, I'm old enough to think that a cheque in one's hand is a bit special for a special occasion. I then tell them if they want it to be transferrred electronically I will do that but don't put it into their bank too!

Agreed.

Had I been a bit (lot) promiscuous I could have been your mum!

That’s it, I haven’t written a check for years but I’m restarting…
Having just retired I do need a few new hobbies and I think being performatively helpless might work well 🙂
( I can fit it in between supporting DD on her more anxious days and supporting DS in hopefully at some point leaving the family nest…..)

I do love a cheque from my Gran. Barely any effort to make when she’s giving me money!

Just reordered a cheque book 😂

<scurries to find a cheque book in a forgotten drawer>

I can see why you’re an accidental millionaire if your children are too exhausted with the mental load to bank a cheque from you.

MN posters think they are eternal.
They believe they will stay fit and healrhy until their 90s because they eat well and exercise now and think they will be perfect grandparents as the way children are raised now is the gold standard and will never change.
It's hilarious.

Oh god. It’s a JOKE to counter the venom on here towards older people. I have no idea if I even own a chequebook. My town has no banks either. So I am probably not the kind of older person (60!) you despise! I also helped each of my children buy a house.

But my tuppence worth is that I lost my parents a couple of years ago. Six weeks apart. It was awful. They weren’t always easy, but I miss them every single day, and I wish I’d given them more time to drone on, or write cheques, or reminisce.

My parents were a bloody nightmare.

I had no idea about the grief and the hole in my life that was coming my way.

Additionally, I have a curious son. He often asks about life when I was younger. He’s keen for stories (is a writer). I bat the requests away because I feel my life isn’t as interesting as my parents’, who lived through wars and such cast change.

but you know what? Next time he asks I may offer some fun 1980s nuggets

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain Beautiful post, thank you.

wow. I was actually joking and agreeing with you

Oh crikey. Well major apologies then
You know I’m tempted to start a Rules for Being Young thread. If I do I hope you can join in

That seems unkind.

It is possible to experience more than one thing at a time. To find older people need extra care, to feel some irritation and to feel loss when they die.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain that’s a lovely post - I’ve actually recently gained some crap from my father in law who still around as he was doing a bit of Swedish death cleaning!! Some really lovely crystal goblets , pricey ones too that I would never have bought . He actually got them when his live in lady partner died 7 years ago and I know she would like they’ve got a new home that uses them -