Rules for being old

[TheFamousSix]

This is a bit mean spirited but I am writing myself a list of rules for when I am old based on the things I am struggling with regarding my own parents.

My list so far

Your kids do not care about your friends' illnesses (unless it impacts you eg your friend is dying or you are caring for them)

If you wouldn't say it to your daughter in law then don't say it to your daughter (eg judgement of parenting things)

Only offer food once, or twice max. It is not generous to offer a dozen times, just annoying.

Any others?

Ha this one -also not every adult or kid is remotely interested in the insane outs and goings on with distant relatives alive or dead that they never met or had any relationship with for hours on end.

Don't ram your trolley into people in the supermarket/shop. People are not skittles to aim for.

When you are taken out to lunch for a Sunday carvery. People are allowed to put as few or as many vegetables on their plates as they like. You do not need to comment to strangers about the size of their plate.

Do not keep saying "I might not be here next week".

Ha yes I’ve just posted this - bores me rigid - I guess though it’s difficult if you sometimes no longer have that much going on day to day to talk about - realise that’s not always the case of course , but it isa reality for many

I never make adverse comments about my children's homes, nor do I inspect the cupboards for things 5 minutes out of date! Why do they feel it's OK to do it in my house???

Don't allow yourself to be a walking ATM!

That it's ok to have a life and enjoy yourself, including spending money on yourself and embarking on a relationship, even if your adult kids can't get their heads round it.

I've just remembered my Dad opening every kitchen cupboard to check that the tins/boxes/jar labels were all lined up and front-facing....

Also randomly checking spots for dust, was another good one.

Though my favourite has always been... accusing me of having someone living in the garage as the door leading from the garage to the house is always locked. I'm not sure what he thought was going on in the garage!!!

I wish Werthers would sell the coffee flavoured ones they sell in the US, ditto Schweppes with the Bitter Orange sold in Germany!

Don’t bore others with the same old stories from your past, often embellished and inaccurate .
Don't rubbish the opinions of others if you don’t agree with them.
Don’t t endlessly narrate trivia eg what your neighbours are doing
Don’t go on about your many visits to the GP and hospital.
Don’t moan about price increases, when you’ve can easily afford them.

Because one day, you will die, and your children will have the unenviable task of getting rid of all your household crap, on top of everything else.

Just shut up and be invisible because your children won't like whatever you do or say, will find fault and moan about you on SM. Do, however, be available for childcare.

Totally agree, a lot of the comments here come from a group of people who can't blow their nose without asking a bunch of total strangers if it's OK! I'm surprised that some on here can walk and talk at the same time.

Some people are going to be horrified when they get to old age. I hope the people I have around me are going to be kinder about me than some of the posters on here are about the old people in their families.

You really do need to make a little effort to embrace new technologies. Not having a mobile phone or an email account was fine 10+ years ago, but life is leaving you behind.

Stop giving your grandchildren cheques - they don't have a clue what to do with them!

Yeah 💯

But it also goes with:

• Spend it all. Your kids don’t need an inheritance, just enjoy yourself while you can.

Me and my sister are always telling my mum this. Just get it spent on holidays and fun stuff while you’re still able to travel…now she takes at least 5 holidays a year (more sometimes) going away with friends and both me and my sister. Helps make up for the hard life she had when she was my dad’s carer for a couple of decades.

How horrible. I'm old ( not sure how that happened) I spent the last 30 years looking after very very elderly parents and doing my best with 2 sons.
Basically they can't be bothered with me now.
It's pretty shabby tbh.

Because one day, you will die, and your children will have the unenviable task of getting rid of all your household crap, on top of everything else.

I cleared my mother's crap, as you so charmingly call it, the week after her funeral, and found it curiously soothing. I was alone all day and was able to talk to her, cry, and find that the woman we found distant and less than interested in us had kept all the cards we sent her, our school reports and a lot of other stuff. Plus some of that 'crap,' like china, glass and cutlery, went to a colleague of SIL who had recently split with his wife, moved into a flat and had nothing in the way of household goods.

A lot of people on here don't seem to realise that for we wrinklies reading MN is actually a source of amusement, we are generally astonished that what was someting one simply did is now such a major problem. Eg, I speak as one who used to enjoy the 2am feed, cup of coffee and World Service of the radio, bliss. I do however realise that one is not supposed to say things like that, it's 'smug' not to have had never-ending problems.

I guess some of that is due to cognitive decline and loneliness.

Keep away from Mumsnet. The rampant agism will depress you.

And if you don't believe it exists, just read this thread where people are clearly unloading everything that irks them.

I have another one - Get used to the way that people talk about you; because those people always tell themselves that they're not going to be the same as you when they're old. They'll be up to date with the latest tech, they won't have any health issues that make day to day life hard, they'll be cheerful and upbeat even if they DO have those health issues, they won't shop at Damart and they won't have any decline in cognitive function that makes them repeat themselves and forget things.
They will, in fact, be the perfect old people, and that's why they post about what irritates them about you. Because you're not and they can't handle the thought that one day, that'll be them.

I'd love that but sadly I can't afford to go to Switzerland and euthanasia isn't available in this country. How I wish it was.

Welli I might not be. I might have finally packed a toothbrush and jumped on the night train to Cairo.

Can I join you!? 😁