Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

I think you should ring work and stay home this once. They can’t sack you! 30 patients need your husband

OMG read rhe bloody thread. He's the LOCUM

He’s a GP, it’s not as clear cut as you think

Also clearly none of you have ever tried to find a locum morning or even evening before. You must be joking. All these GPs sat around just waiting to be called at a moments notice.

@BurnoutGP - Well apologies if I responded to the question posed and didn't have time to read all 11 pages of responses.

But guessing that you're a GP you no doubt have a high regard for the importance of your role. The sun will still come up tomorrow and his career will not come grinding to a halt.

(and yes, GPs are important but not the detriment of the woman who has stayed home for the last 3 years, enabling his role).

So should it always be the women who share parenting with GPs that yield? Do GP jobs always trump your partner's?

Well most GPs are women so im not sure what your point is??

Not sure what my point is? You clearly missed my 2nd question.
I hope your listening skills are better with your patients.

@NotSureICanDoIt if you truly feel your job would be at risk if you called in sick for 1 day on the 2nd day then your husband surely stays at home. The GP practice will ofc have a policy for sickness or emergency/ carers leave, this will not be the first or last time a doctor / nurse will have not come to work at short notice. I’m not sure how often your husband locums at this particular place but there could be an arrangement where he could do an additional shift sometime in the very near future to make up for it so the patients who couldn’t be seen to can be seen relatively promptly. Sometimes these things cannot be avoided, many drs are married to drs and in the exact same position regardless of what you do some patients will be let down. It’s not ideal but it is life. Most emergency departments / urgent treatment centres have GPs that work within them that people should be able to access if they are unable to wait until the rescheduled time.

On the other hand, and I mean this gently I wonder if your (understandable) anxiety about not going in and conclusions about the possible repercussions are a bit extreme. Recruitment is very expensive process and I’m sure people would rather not unnecessarily go through it twice. If you’ve been out of the workforce for 5 years I can’t imagine you’ll be be being expected to do anything so importance on day 2 it couldn’t wait. Most people are doing induction, mandatory training, shadowing etc etc on day 2 and whilst I completely understand why it doesn’t feel good at all to not be in I actually think 2nd day ij is probably quite a good day to have to be off rather than when you have additional responsibilities. I can read the imposter syndrome in your OP -you state how lucky you are to have the job - unless there is a backstory, they I’m sure are very lucky to have you, you don’t employ people you don’t think are able to do the role. You state that not turning up will mean you lose your job, I’m sure most employers have something in the contract about emergency carers leave or call it sick leave if you must. If you were a single parent you’d have no choice but to take the day off.

I also can’t get my head around a job so flexible in the future that you think you’d be able to wfh with an ill child around them sleeping (and presumably be fine to do no work when they werent asleep despite being paid to do so), and flexi your hours, but also who would sack someone on the spot for an emergency illness on their second day.

I can understand your frustration but your point about your DP not having to ever let anyone down since your dd was born doesn’t really hold. You both made the decision I presume for you to be a SAHM and I presume both got benefits from that. It was naive of both of you to never consider this eventuality, and unfortunate that you’ve had to face it so early into your new role. My DH and I discuss weekly who will be have to “take one for the team” shiuld my DD2 not be able to go into nursery. He also wfh and is flexible but it’s not fair to assume that it will always be on him.

I hope you’re daughter is better soon 💐

OP has just started this job. He needs to stay home or OP may as well not have bothered going back to work in the first place if she's going to end up losing her job anyway.

Kids get ill. GP's aren't above taking a day for their sick child.

Also, there are only certain people you can ask to mind a sick child. If I needed someone to watch one of my (well) primary aged kids for a couple of hours there are multiple friends I would feel comfortable asking. But a whole working day with a sick pre-schooler is a totally different and much more demanding ask - because you are essentially asking that person to put themselves at risk of catching whatever it is and to have nothing else to do that day.

Exactly - said local teen will presumably be at school or college tomorrow!

I'm a GP and mum to an 8 year old. We're lucky touches wood that our dd isn't especially sickly and we haven't had to take much time off with her for sickness. However if she does need looking after it is almost always DH that provides emergency care because he has an office job and can WFH. Yes if I/my child is sick there are contingency plans at my work. The practice rota coordinators will cancel or rebook appointments. It happens and it isn't the end of the world but it is an inconvenience for the patients and my team mates. As much as I'd love to be the one who can stay off with her and comfort her when she's sick I can't justify it when it's so much less obstructive for DH to stay off. That said, I think this is one of those rare moments when DH needs to step up and just accept the inconvenience as taking a sick day literally a few days into a probation period is never going to look good. I would say that you generally need to be prepared to provide the childcare in these situations OP not because you're the woman but because of the nature of your's and your DH's job. However in this case I'd be laying down the law and making DH suck it up

What’s the betting dh won

A similar situation happened when I first went back to work. We used a nanny agency and got an emergency nanny. I didn't like it very much but my child liked her, so it was fine.

You had a baby and a grand-daughter at the same time?? Who are you - Superwoman? 😂