Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

Him, he's not done it for 3 years!

Okay, what do you propose those arrangements should include, @Horses7?

You don't think that the OP and her H have thought of this? 😂😂

I doubt very much they are just sitting mute staring at each other waiting for MN to come up with such pearls of wisdom

Glad I’m not the only one who notices the inconsistencies across threads. Almost as though some people might just enjoy feeling superior and being contrary. Surely not.

Well she hasn't said!! 😂😂

HTH 😂😂

Probably because it was so obvious that they would have already gone that route if it was available.

As if the OP and her H are going to slap their heads and say "of course!! Thank GOODNESS for @Showgirl! Why didn't WE think of Granny?"

Edit - She did say actually

NotSureICanDoIt · Today 20:41
getsomehelp · Today 20:33
No friend, family, sister, neighbour available I suppose ?

No, unfortunately.

Toss a coin

Child important. Other people and their children, not so much.

Perhaps I should have been a GP as I would have put patients first.

You cancelled work for the last 3 years....

Now it is his turn.

Most GPs offer telephone consultations and only see a few patients in person. Can he do his clinic from home?

Well it's unlikely to be just tomorrow someone needs to stay at home if your DD has a viral illness. I remember when my kids were in nursery and they went back after illness, several times I was called to come get them again as they still seemed 'off colour' (they were fine!). Youngest DC was sent home at the slightest sniffle.

Not going into work on day 2 for a childcare issue will certainly mark your cards in unreliability.

Saying you're ill yourself might be slightly less bad as you can spin it out for a few days which your DD is likely to need anyway. Definitely something going round at the moment. Say you don't want to spread it?

You must be clear with your DP though. How would he react to you loosing this job and being the sole provider again? Resentful? Do you have separate finances while he is effectively preventing you from having your own and being dependent on him?

Obviously you should have got married as soon as the pregnancy test came up positive, you should do it soon to have some financial protection if he has assets and doesn't want to enable you to work like you have been enabling him.

You will have another 9-10 years of this and his attitude on your 1st day of returning to work does not bode well!

Could you check childminders in your area and see if they offer emergency cover in these circumstances? Probably have to pay a retainer though.

He should either loose the £500 or try and work from home. You should definitely go to work.

I can see your dilemma. And which parent should stay home depends on a few factors. Did you discuss what would happen if your child was sick when you decided to return to work?What will happen to the 30 patients with appointment to see their Doctor tomorrow if your DH stays home, Could a locum be arranged?What do you think your employer say if you asked for time off tomorrow because your child is sick? Does your employer allow parental unpaid leave for emergencies such as sickness at all?
Id say your DH should stay home if he can arrange a locum.
You should stay home if your employer allows leave for emergency sickness of your child and a lcoum cant be found.

It'd be a huge surgery to have 4 or 5 other GPs working plus a locum. My surgery has max 4 in a morning but if we have a locum ita because we are short staff so will often have 2. So one down would be an absolute disaster.
This thread clearly shows why tou all hold GPs in such disdain. No surgeries are awash with doctors. The demand is huge and incessant. And covering a locum off for childcare would be a major issue and have significant patient safety effects.

Being a GP is a job like any other. They work hard enough but every Dr or medical professional will put their own child first-as they should. The 30 patients will be shared in the practice or booked for another day. None of the appointments will be urgent life or death.

Some of us don’t have anyone (yes I mean anyone!) to look after our sick kids and we need to take a lot of parental leave. Some of us live in cities where there is no random teen a few doors down because we only know our neighbours in passing and for a polite hello now and again. And some of want to know people quite well before we leave our sick kids with them. Oh and no I wouldn’t put my child into school or nursery if they have a fever or have been vomiting. And I actually wouldn’t want to leave my sick child with someone they barely know.

yes 40 years ago when I was a child my mum had multiple family members who lived nearby who could look after me if I was sick. Unfortunately life isn’t like that for many of us anymore.there is NO backup plan.

I would do the half a day each thing - seems to lessen the burden on either of you.

Leaving sick a 3 year old at home alone would also be a major issue and have significant safety effects.

The OP losing her first job in 3 years after having a baby will be a major issue for her, especially when she's not married to the man who's preventing her going to work because their child is ill and his job is more important.

Most GP will not for all the reasons we get such a bashing on here.
As a partner mine have spent many many days when little in our common room being kept an eye on by our admin staff when my 1st 2nd 3rd childcare back up didn't work. I have never in 25years taken a day off for childcare.
And some of those patients may very well be life changing or saving appts.
Its quite sad to see what low regard we are held in. And how little people understand about how a surgery is managed.

Er? No ones leaving her home alone?
And its all very dramatic to say she will lose her job. I honestly feel this thread is all about the GP bashing.

You sound really selfish!
A 30 patient clinic cancelled so you can go to work and DP loses £500!

"the man with the big man job!"😂

Utter balls.

It’d be all the same if he woke up shitting through the eye of a needle.

If the surgery doesn’t have a plan B, that’s not the OP’s problem.

You've stayed at home for 3 years, it's his turn.

I think you should go to work @NotSureICanDoIt as you’re in your probation period and need to pass it. However, I’m wondering if there is any chance you can do half each or something so you can go in early and explain rather than completely not turn up and DP can at least try and reschedule afternoon patients to others at the practise. Difficult. But I’m sure you have made a decision now as it is so late!

Locums exist for a reason. Not all 30 of those patients need an appointment with their named GP.

Finding another job is also difficult.

OP should go to work.