Who should go to work tomorrow?

[NotSureICanDoIt]

Today was my first day at a new job - one I am very lucky to have. I probably wouldn’t find another one as good again. Not going in tomorrow will look very, very bad and potentially jeopardise my job.
DP is a GP and has a 30 patient clinic tomorrow.

DD3 is ill. Some sort of virus, fever, headache, sore throat, no appetite. There’s no way she’ll be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

DP thinks I should stay home with her and I think he should. Up until this point I’ve been a SAHM so things like this weren’t an issue. He has never ever had to cancel work before.

Who gets to go to work tomorrow?

You.

Although many employers would be sympathetic in anextreme case - A&E accident or hospitalisation - if OP takes a day off on day 2 for a child’s minor illness then she’s marking her cards. They might be nice to her face but inside they will be watching for further signs on unreliability.

The fact the OPs DP is a GP is irrelevant - GP and NHS appts get cancelled all
the time - on the day of the appt - yes it’s annoying but a symptom of an overstretched underfunded system that is nothing to do with the OP. She needs to keep her job!

And from where should they source ‘back up care?’

Flip the roles and make the wife the GP with 30 patients all desperate for an appointment and the husband on the 2nd day of his first job in years. I am sure we would all be saying the GP should go to work.

I don’t think we would 😂

(If anything the thread would be full of comments of how male DP has been a cocklodger and should under no circumstances be put in a position where he could lose his job as he needs to be contributing to the family pot. )

Can he stay home and offer up another date to the practice e.g. offer them Friday and for them to shunt all his patients across to a list on that day (that is - assuming he's not working full time)?

That's a fair compromise.

You. He's benefitted from never having to use parental leave up until now thanks to you being at home.
Who covers his clinic is the practices problem .

He should stay home. You absolutely can’t miss day one!

Why do posters state this like it’s written in stone? My employer has absolutely no issue if someone needs to do this. My DC are grown up so it doesn’t impact me,and I don’t care if others do it, as long as the project based work gets done on plan

If you also work in a life or death job, you. If your job won't possibly result in lives being lost, he should go in. My FIL ended up in hospital after a GP appointment was cancelled, and he might not have made it out.
Being the spouse of a doctor is a really hard job, as Lois Lane said.

Do you live near a uni or college. In future you definitely need to friend some nice young people studying childhood studies or just a nice trusted 21 year old who doesn't have lectures or college everyday. I appreciate it's too late for tomorrow but you need to put some things in place.

I do feel for the patients who may be let down, but even people with important jobs have times when they need to be off.
In this case if he won’t take time off to enable OP to attend her second day at a new job, when will he?
I don’t know whether the locum ‘blacklist’ mentioned is an actual thing, but he’s had a 3 year run never having to cancel a day due to childcare, so should currently be in good standing. If GP surgeries can ban a locum from further work for one perceived infringement that would imply that they have a sufficient supply of others.

Erm they should make arrangements for their children - they have accepted jobs - jeez!
This mum is probably going to lose her new job of one day unless she/H get their act together.

You need to go to work
And have a back up plan for when this inevitably happens again

This!

He needs to take the hit and stay home tomorrow.

Don’t jeopardise your opportunity, you’ve been the one at home looking after sick DC for years!

You
need to go - could he do a telephone clinic or admin from homes?

The appointments will be redistributed/rearranged where possible (they don’t release all available appointments in advance), or another locum will cover, I doubt they will simply cancel all his patients.

Doctors have family issues, get sick , go on strike.
The world doesn’t end , GP appointments get cancelled/ postponed if necessary. It’s not an emergency, otherwise they’d go to A and E.

You’re in day two of your job. Dont go sick , it really won’t look good, no matter what excuse you tell them. A sick child won’t cut it either , they’ll think you’re unreliable already.

Your husband needs to take the day off. The NHS won’t collapse without him for a day.

Not relevant, it's her SECOND day!!!
Of course you go to work.
What if he came down with the shits overnight? Then what??? He wouldn't go in, would he.

Some of the replies on here are surely wind up replies

He should go. He has 30 people relying on him. Who knows how long they've waited for their appointments. For some the appointment may be critical.

If it’s anything like our GP surgery his job tomorrow will involve making 30 phone calls to patients either hours before or hours after the stipulated time so only a handful will pick up because the rest, you know, have jobs. So it really won’t make a difference if he’s there tomorrow or not

Do you actually talk to each other? Like, ever? He's a GP, and it is his problem, I'd've thought you'd be well versed on that.
Strange thread.

This is a difficult situ. I'm 100% supporting you in your new job. But, I was new in a job, something horrible happened, I went to work told a colleague and I was sent home. Some employers get it.

Your DH has 30 people waiting on him to help him. His job isnt a standard office job he's a medic.

If you can call into meetings etc, do that. I think you should stay home with your DD, its not that your job is less than his, it's his work is not something he can do from home and Id be pd off if a medic cancelled an appiintment on me because he had no child care...

Could a grandparent help?