Is finishing inside someone without asking normal if no condom was used?

[Sendingpositivehubsprayers]

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

Sperm leaks out before climax, this is why people who rely on pulling out still get pregnant.
I would think if no protection is used then I’d almost expect them to finish inside you, if not you need to say in advance.

Just a quick question in this thread, how many people on here can honestly say when they first got with a new partner that they requested a STI test before engaging in sex?

If you aren't aware of the risks, why would you ?

Much more pertinent is how many people are aware of the risks ? It seems to me no more than were in the 1980s. Not really a great advert for "progress". Especially in womens health and rights/

Ridiculous, isn't it? No wonder so many people are getting STIs! Herpes is apparently climbing right back up.

I don’t know whether the new generation aren’t aware of the risks, or they are and they don’t think it will happen to them.

If you have consented to unprotected sex then yes it's normal to finish inside

Not when I was young and irresponsible, bit since getting divorced in my 30s and dating again, always

You have given a very strong impression you don't mind tbh . Especially 2nd time it sounds like you where in complete agreement even

This

He's one irresponsable human being who's probably fathered several children through one night stands and has a few baby mammas (or plans to).

Yes, he should have absolutely asked before assuming so that's one massive red flag there for you. Bin him asap.

I suggest you keep a packet of condoms in your handbag. Go for a STI test as not all have symptoms.

I’d assume finishing inside would be the default and that if I didn’t want him to I’d actively ask him not to.

What?

The OP had sex with him TWICE with no contraception and no 'discussion' other than a shrug when he said he had no condoms.

And he's the only one you describe as 'one irresponsible human being'?

Get away with your jokes 🤣

Yes I would say he would think that you were (a) on the pill (b) don't have any STI. I would hope he would say if he had an STI but you didn’t ask.
It might also put him off you OP, if he thinks that you do this a lot. And it might put you off him?
But it all sounds very consensual, albeit risky, so no issues there.

What an odd post. You lied about being on contraception but didn't but say you are protected from pregnancy...

Totally disagree, why would HE assume the OP is on the pill? This is how accidental pregnancies happen and completely irresponsable men get shocked when later find their last one night unprotected stand ended in a baby. Who would have guessed that sex makes babies hm?! It takes two to tango and make a baby, both people are equally responsible of contraception, leaving that to the women only is bonkers.

I'm assuming you told the guy you were on the pill or something in those lines that's why he did what he did, if not the case and he just "assumed stuff" the whole thing is bonkers and he has red flags all over.

What do mean , he takes no risk?

for all he knows she might be HIV+ or have Genital herpes or HPV etc , obviously he cannot get pregnant- but all the other risks are the same

Did I understand that right? Your dh asks you if its okay to come inside you when you have sex?!? Is that a thing? Is this what other people do, ask permission at each step?

Jesus H Christ never mind pregnancy have you not heard of sexually transmitted diseases? What is wrong with you? Do you know how many STDs can be passed on to another partner - or worse even a baby - what about when and if you meet someone you want to start a family with? Are you prepared to tell them that you contracted an STD because you thought it was cool to have unprotected sex?

@bloomingbonkerz I agree with @Additup and given it's only a teaspoon wondered if he's shooting a litre up there!

Have a shower and use a panty liner. Sorted.

When I met my partner, back around 2006, the protocol was

• have sex with condoms (him) and the pill (me)
• when you got serious, both go to a GUM clinic and have the full gamut of tests
• assuming they were both clear, carry on having sex with condoms
• three months later, back to the GUM clinic
• if both clear, stop using condoms

Of course we followed this protocol. Why on earth wouldn't we?

This is satire surely?

Clearly some people do, because people can like different things! I've got friends who always use condoms with long term partners even if they are on other contraception because they just don't like the feeling. That poster clearly likes to have the option to choose and her husband is respectful enough to ask what she wants on each occasion. Why is that shocking to you?

Why do you say this?

Some STI's apparently take a while to show up. Plus some partners apparently aren't reliably exclusive.

I'll see if I can find a link to recommended safe sex practices...

Why??
It's not really a suprise that over 50s are getting STIs in record numbers these days, sexual health literacy is woeful in most middle aged women it seems!