Is finishing inside someone without asking normal if no condom was used?

[Sendingpositivehubsprayers]

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

Ejaculation is all part of sex, so I think your shrug and not dissenting to him coming inside you was, in a way, you saying it was ok for him to do so. Both of you should have taken some responsibility at that point, with him asking if you were on the pill and/or you advising whether you were or not.

That said, you both have an appalling disregard of the risks, both STIs and pregnancy. The MAP isn't a form of contraception. Learn to communicate better with sexual partners. Tell them at the outset whether you're on contraception or if you don't want them to finish inside of you.

You were fine with no condom. The rest really makes no odds.

What difference does it make whether he does or doesn’t finish, it’s unprotected form the second you start?

You really are gambling with your body and your soul though. There is no condom for your heart, what are you thinking letting that happen if you didn’t want it to? It’s your body and you should be protecting it.

The thing is OP that if this man was so casual about having unprotected sex with you, how many more times has he done that?

He does not sound a nice man. If he was so casual about the potential for you to become pregnant, and leave you face the consequences, what does that tell you?

You need to get tested. And assuming you get called up for smear tests, (HPV tests) get that done. Cervical cancer is caused by the HPV virus. Men have no symptoms (unless they get penile cancer) and women have no symptoms either. That's why you need to keep up your screening for HPV.

The point was that OP seemed confused about why he'd finished inside of her, and whether he'd be annoyed to find out she wasn't on the pill.

The answer to those questions are likely that he assumed she was on contraception, and that yes, he may well be annoyed.

Is he justified in either of those thoughts? No, he's a flaming numpty. OP understanding that he's a flaming numpty might help her make sense of the situation overall.

Both of you needed to check before you had sex if you're likely to be concerned about the later impact. You being 100% sure there's no future risks you can't live with, also trusting him enough to withdraw before getting too far. On his part, checking if you're on contraception if doesn't want the risk of an unwanted child/maintenance.

Waiting for the 'I had unprotected sex with a guy. He dumped me after one date and now I am pregnant' thread.

If you didn't complain about no condom, he would assume you didn't care as you were on the pill. Were you wanting to get pregnant? Why would you assume he had the control to pull out or not leak. Hope you have taken the morning after.

Or "oozing nasty discharge" 🤮

You didn’t talk to him properly about it. I’m not on any contraception at the moment as I’ve had a bad experience with my coil being removed. I’ve bought the biggest box of condoms and told my husband we cannot have sex unless he pops one on! There is no way I’m risking another pregnancy, so that he can “feel it more!” You have to be mature and bring your own condoms and make him put it on before it goes in. If you can’t have a discussion about it then you shouldn’t be doing it. Protect yourself from STIs and pregnancies. Please get yourself the morning after pill just in case.

I’d be cautious sharing rl stories as the lack of OP replies makes me think they’re getting off on this thread.

This is very weird on both sides, the fact you were both cool with just having unprotected sex at the end of a date (by the sounds of it a new thing) and neither of you had a conversation about contraception, sti's, being tested etc etc, suggests this is normal behaviour from you both, so you are fine with this and probably do it regularly. Which means you are probably both riddled with god knows what!

If you are knowingly having unprotected sex, I'd imagine you are both aware he is intending to finish up inside you and you are fine with that. The point where he said he had no condom was the point you should have had a conversation about this, you both shrugged and knowingly went on to have sex knowing it was unprotected, you then did it again the next day without discussion so you were both clearly fine with this and it wasn't alcohol clouding your judgement.

Pretty risky behaviour even if you are on contraception.

From my younger days, on the rare occasion I stupidly only relied on the pill and threw the risk of STDs out the window, yes coming inside is normal with consensual sex unless one of you says otherwise.

In this day and age there is no reason not to have your own condoms when dating.

I think you're crazy to risk pregnancy and STIs with a stranger. But maybe you actually want to get pregnant? I can't understand what's going through your head tbh, OP. We're clearly very different people! But I'm glad you're ok - I was worried from the title that this was a question about rape. Relief to see it's not.

I think you both should have had a bit more discussion about contraception, protection and what was (and wasn't) 'on the table'. You've both been negligent. He opened the conversation by saying he didn't have condoms and your response was a shrug!!! What difference would coming inside of you, or not, actually make? Slightly less likelihood of pregnancy?

The OP was equally casual about having unprotected sex. How many times has she done that? She doesn't sound like a nice woman. If she is so casual about the potential to become pregnant and have to face the consequences, what does that tell you?

I don't think that the OP deserves to be shamed, but what you say about the man applies to her too.

Its a given someone would come inside you isnt it?

Since when is that not normal. Thats just basic sex.

If you dont want unprotected sex with all your musings about him not asking more about contraception or you wondering about STIs etc etc, then dont have it.

It does remind me of an old, dirty, joke. A young lady was asked if she was worried about getting pregnant. She replied no she takes precautions, she always has him stand on an old biscuit tin with a couple of marbles in during copulation. How does that help? Well when it starts to rattle I know it’s time to kick it out from under him.

Isn’t there sex board ?

You're giving men a lot of grace here.

doubt this even crossed his mind.

more like wahayyy I don’t have to wrap it thank fuck.

a lot of men don’t give a shit. They don’t like condoms and will love the fact you didn’t care either. Hence he said no more about it.

say you got pregnant or an STI and then tried to discuss this with him. He could be off into the night without so much as a backward glance leaving you up shit creek.

dont be so stupid to put yourself at risk like that.

Why would you have unprotected sex with someone you barely know? He sounds disrespectful at best (bet you wouldn't see him for dust if you got pregnant) and you sound like you're lacking in self-respect if you think that's OK.

say you got pregnant or an STI and then tried to discuss this with him. He could be off into the night without so much as a backward glance leaving you up shit creek.

If he caught an STI from the OP and tried to discuss it with her, I suspect she'd also be off into the night without so much as a backward glance.

Is it really worth risking your life over one night of sex? Do you not value yourself at all? Pregnancy is surely the least of your worries.
He asked you about sex without a condom - it's not normal to pull out before sex is over, unless it's been discussed. I don't think he's done anything.

You were both incredibly irresponsible.