Is finishing inside someone without asking normal if no condom was used?

[Sendingpositivehubsprayers]

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

I’d get tested anyway just to be safe, but, if you plan on seeing him when he returns from holiday i’d assume he may have also had unprotected sex whilst on holiday so i’d make sure he got tested before anymore bareback sessions.

If you want him to withdraw i think you need to say it.

Its the same on all these threads, I dont find any of these discussions on this forum very realistic as to what happens in real life. I dont like condoms, so Ive never used them, I had PCOS risk of pregnancy low, I was sometimes on the pill, not always, trying to manage the PCOS symptoms really and now my long term partner has had a vasectomy before we met so Ive never used condoms with him.

Well yes you agreed to no-condom sex so if you didn’t specify you didn’t want that to happen he would assume it’s ok.

He was telling you because it turned him on. Nothing to do with STI or pregnancy because he assumed you didn’t care about that.

So doing anything you dont consent to is a sex crime. And there is a thing called stealthing where a man removes a condom in order to cum inside you without you noticing and that is a crime.

That said, he said I dont have condoms and you said OK. I think its reasonable he assumed you were consenting to unprotected sex. You could have asked hows your pull out game? Or lets swing by tesco? And if he has an STI or youre worried about pregnancy, even precum can cause you to catch something or conceive. Id definitely carry your own if thats a concern for you

I also think, if he did it once and it was a concern you dont say nothing and do it again?

I think this instance it was a miscommunication more on your side than his

You here all week ? 😂

😂

It’s on both of you to have conversation about contraception prior to the actual shagging. I know things can get carried away, but presumably you weren’t already fucking before you ended up booking a hotel room, as right then would have been the perfect moment.

I think she did want it to happen? Nothing she said suggests she wasn't willing.

In real life, people also have abortions for unwanted pregnancies and catch STIs. This would happen a lot less if people didn't have unprotected sex with strangers.

Obviously unprotected sex is reckless and risky but it's really not life threatening in 2026.

Yeah probably.
both as stupid as each other.

This really isn't true.

Hep B for example can lead to liver cirrhosis which in turn can lead to liver cancer.

And then of course there's a risk to the life of any resulting baby.

Yes, some/many people probably would if you didn't tell them not to.

We all think of HIV as the worst STD you can get

Because the consequences are perminant. A one-night-stand could result in you having to take medication for the rest of your life with associated physical, social and relationship problems. Not worth the risk.

Yes, but (if memory serves, was the 90s when I last paid any attention to this) risk of transmission is far greater from the man to the woman.

I would never have sex without discussing contraception or lack thereof and agreeing terms for want of a better word. It is ridiculously irresponsible to do otherwise and I am far too old for all that shit.

When I was young and stupid, alcohol made my choices for me and I put myself at risk more than once.

He told you he didn't have a condom. You didn't say, no to sex, so I think it's normal he would 'finish' inside you. However, he should have asked if you were using any form of contraception, not assume and equally you should have stated if you were (I hope you were!). If you weren't happy for him to 'finish' inside you, then you needed to have told him.

To be honest, where contraception is concerned, neither side should just assume! It requires a conversation before you have sex. If this is a relatively new relationship, then in my opinion you should be using condoms, regardless if you yourself are using contraception. Going without, in my view is what you do when you know the relationship is serious, commited and there's built up trust between the couple.

To be fair, she showed zero respect for her health and wellbeing too. All it took was saying she's not on the pill or "don't finish inside me", she did neither and had sex with him twice.

Are you hoping to conceive?

Withdrawal still isn't safe sex either. It always amazes me how little people are aware of stis HIV hep b hep c. Even if they are for example on the pill.

If op feels she needs an sti check she needs to wait 3 weeks before going to the clinic as diseases can take time to manifest.

I would likely assume he thought you were on the pill. I’ve had situations before and usually say condom or we aren’t. However if not i would usually go I’m on the pill and then we can both decide if we want to have unprotected sex. Also I find a lot of the time a guy will ask where I want them to finish if they aren’t wearing a condom. It’s just mature conversations to have

Just a quick question in this thread, how many people on here can honestly say when they first got with a new partner that they requested a STI test before engaging in sex?

I’m not suggesting that it’s wrong to ask for one and it is the responsible thing to do but i’d say it’s usually an awkward question that a lot of people likely avoid in the initial stages of a relationship whereas conversations around contraception and protection used to be commonplace, i don’t know if they still are.

Relying on 'far greater' is very much risking your life.

The time to take responsibility for yourself is before having sex with the person you are going to have sex with, not afterwards on a chat forum. Long gone are the days when it was expected that the man would 'take care of everything'.