Cleaner shamed us for house - not sure how to feel

[tokajlover]

We have had a cleaner for coming up to 4 years now and she’s brilliant, no complains from us whatsoever.

The reason we have a cleaner is because, like most people who do, we find it makes life much easier with a young child, and both my DH and I working a substantial distance from home, about an hour to an hour and a half’s commute a few times a week plus starting this year, school drop offs and pick ups etc. Our lives are chaotic but nothing out of the ordinary for young-ish professionals with a young child, except maybe the substantial commutes. Having a cleaner is definitely a God send!

Apparently, however, today she pulled my husband aside as he was WFH and told him that we need to do better, because she needs to do a “hard factory reset” every time she comes over.

Our house was definitely messy today after a weekend where we hosted and were away on the Saturday! But we don’t leave disgusting messes, food, we don’t have bugs etc (feel ashamed to even have to say this!), we aren’t hoarders, and our house is just a normally messier than we’d like it to be but not disgusting by any means 3 bed. The best way to put this would be, I guess, if announced guests had popped up today I would not have thought it the best time and would have said “sorry for the mess” but I wouldn’t have been excessively worried or scrambling about to get the place ready, as I wouldn’t have thought there was anything particularly bad about it just not “visitor-ready” and messy.

I feel so embarrassed now though and mum guilt has kicked in - I keep thinking that there’s plenty of full time working parents who don’t have a cleaner so what am I doing wrong.

She only does 2 hours a week but she did start out doing 3, with the idea initially being that she would do the general clean in 2 hours and do one deep-cleaning thing each time, she is the one who asked for fewer hours. We pay above the average rate which is not me congratulating ourselves by any means and we never minded as she does do an excellent job, just to clarify we are not under-paying her or anything like that!

I guess I just feel a bit ashamed and don’t know if she had a point or was this weird? Presumably people have cleaners to clean and sometimes the house is not in top shape when your cleaner arrives, but I thought that was normal? As I said we never leave messes for her to deal with later on purpose or any disgusting things, but part of me can’t help but feel extremely ashamed and bad!

Clumsy way of telling u I suppose. If she has to tidy then she will need more time/ do less. I would think it was cheeky, but would not get rid of someone who is good based on this comment. As for guilt, I'd erase that.

I live in a small 2 bedroom house. I was quoted 90m for mine. One bedroom is a spare, one toliet, so I would think 2h is not enough either

I think if you don't want to/can't do it cleaners can be great.

Cleaners are generally there to clean not tidy so they won’t have as much time if they have to tidy up first. I can see how that might be a little frustrating for her however sounds like you need a cleaner for 3 hours not 2 and she can’t provide that so maybe speak to her about it or find someone new if she can’t go back up to 3

I reckon that I spend an hour clearing for the cleaner. That is, making sure all floors and surfaces have nothing on them so they are easy to clean well. Cleaner then soends four hours cleaning and even then there is always more that she could do! So I would expect that it might be taking half her time moving and clearing stuff. Would you consider offering an extra hour to her for the clearing up?

I think you should speak to her. Maybe three hours or maybe twice a week. It could be she’s still happy with two but expects floors to be clear. Maybe take it as a “wake up call” to all try and be tidier, everyone has a basket for their washing, but and pieces downstairs, All toys tidied up before bed. These are simple habits that will help you all

I have a good friend who is a cleaner and she says it’s really difficult to tidy other people’s houses in order to clean. Deciding where to put things etc.

She does have one super famous client family where the teenagers don’t even pick their pants up off the floor, but she told them she would need an assistant to clean their house, one to tidy and one to clean, so they have to pay for two people.

I had a cleaner for 2 hours a week for a 3 bed house for years, she was brilliant. House never needed any tidying by her as was always very tidy before she came as I just wanted her to clean.

Always tidy before cleaner arrives ... they just can't clean otherwise

You are very much a pedant. I hope it made you feel better!

It did. I think some people are up their own arses and look down their noses at cleaners or any ‘employees’ or ‘hires’ for that matter. I feel much better for calling that out, thanks for understanding.

Bit of a sweeping statement!
NEVER clean properly?

I think it’s the difference between a cleaner and an housekeeper, my daughter has had both a the housekeeper definitely does more as in tidying away clean washing etc

Well if you want her to clean then house needs to be tidy. I achieve this by throwing everything on the sofas or in boxes if the house is messy and I don't have much time. If I haven't had time to wash up then I move the washing up into laundry room. I make sure most of the surfaces are clear and the floors are clear (except the playroom which I've told my cleaner to leave for the time being as it needs a proper sort out).

I don't think so. A cleaner will do whatever you stipulate within the time available. We never tidy ahead of our cleaner coming. She just does what she can get done in the time she has. That will always involve tidying, often changing beds, ironing and doing laundry too.

Mine doesn't clean properly but she does a better job than I have time for and she changes the beds! There's just things that she doesn't seem to see. The back of the bathroom door is really dirty and there are bits in the downstairs toilet that are really dusty. I'd never have time to mop the floor or dust and I hate changing beds. So it's a compromise.

Unfortunately my cleaner retired and she was brilliant. But I think the only reason she got a 3 bed house spotless in 2 hours was because I'm a minimalist and really tidy.

If your cleaner has to tidy or clean around stuff she will not be able to get much done.

But she shouldn't judge you. You pay her to clean.

This

Your setup has changed since you started to employ her, your 4 year old maybe leaves toys out and marks more than when she started. Plus the fact you had guests at the weekend was too much for her, a bad time. Hope you can come to an agreement when you talk to each other.

It depends.... if she is there purely to clean, time can be eaten up tidying up belongings, and isn'tpart of the agreement. If tidying IS part of the agreement, she needs to just get on and tidy. Having said that, 2 hrs a week isn't very long, so you/hubby/children should be doing general tidying as you go, allowing cleaner to do what she's paid for - cleaning!

Wow she has nerve. Her Job is to CLEAN. You hire a cleaner, so YOU don't have to reset lol. I'd fire her and find someone else. Again....what nerve.....

I own a cleaning company .
The people who get the best out of our service are the tidy ones.
we do tidy of course and reset the home , but the more things there are to put away it takes time off the clean and therefore on this case it seems that was the problem .

My cleaners often have to tidy for us, and it eats into their time. They stay the time and if some
todying means they don’t get everything done that’s my bad. I always apologise for our
jouse to them. 3 kids, 2 working parents, 1 as a childminder. Our house is chaos!
they have never said anything negative about our house at all, and sometimes just say,
sorry we didn’t get to xyz this week we will do it next week.
our house isn’t small, 4 bed, 2 bath alongside the chaos. So they do 1.5hrs, meaning 3 hrs as there is 2 of them each week. I just understand that if there is tidying either they tidy it and skip something else, or they skip that room. Mainly my daughters bedroom 😂
I would be feeling exactly like you if they did this To me and it probably would mean I changed cleaners tbh.

She probably means that two hours is not enough time to clean your house properly when you leave it very untidy. You either need to tidy the house before she comes or pay her for three hours to tidy up in order to then clean. .

I'm not sure if it's normal. I've never had a cleaner but family and friends who have were always annoyed that the cleaner had tidied things away so they 'couldn't find anything', while the cleaners obviously thought it was part of their job to tidy, even quite severely in the case of messy houses. (The annoyed customers could never quite bring themselves to tell the cleaners to stop tidying - so they must have regarded it as normal.) At uni I worked as a cleaner and the majority of people would make sure to tell me not to move anything - if you have to pick it up to clean/dust then put it back exactly where it was, even if it looks out of place to you.