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Have you ever smacked your child, given 2021 UK statistic?

342 replies

Tinkerbelle4 · 09/09/2026 18:25

Just seen this clip, not really a big fan is super nanny but was shocked to hear the UK 2021 statistic that 62% of parents had physically disciplined their child.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1HXeNmtEDB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I’m curious- do you fall into that statistic? Especially if you have children say under 16- have you ever smacked them?

OP posts:
MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:11

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:06

Well aren't you perfect?

No. I'm not. Just a person who grew up with poor parents and determined not to repeat it with my own.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:12

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:07

Given the number of times I have said that broadly speaking I am against snacking and that I don’t smack my children, I am inclined to think that your aim here is to repeatedly insult me, make me upset / annoyed and then use that as evidence that I am some raging out of control harpy, or something like that.

You're wrong. I don't register usernames so had no idea if even responded to you before

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:12

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:09

Most people live with it just fine, that's my point.

That's very sad for their children.

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:13

Either you are perfect and have always parented perfectly, or you are not @MyOtherTimePiece .

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:14

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:12

That's very sad for their children.

No its a normal childhood that most people will grow up just fine with.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:15

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:13

Either you are perfect and have always parented perfectly, or you are not @MyOtherTimePiece .

Well, no. Those aren't the only options.

I am not perfect. I am as perfect a parent as I can be.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:16

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:14

No its a normal childhood that most people will grow up just fine with.

Being hit or shouted at by parents who can't control themselves is not normal.

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:17

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:16

Being hit or shouted at by parents who can't control themselves is not normal.

No it's normal. Most families will have some conflict at times and most children will see negative emotions in their parents.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:19

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:17

No it's normal. Most families will have some conflict at times and most children will see negative emotions in their parents.

I didn't say some conflict though did I? I said:

If you choose to hit and/or shout at your children because you can't control yourself, that's for you to live with.

You said that's normal.

I said it's not.

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:22

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:15

Well, no. Those aren't the only options.

I am not perfect. I am as perfect a parent as I can be.

I think that most of us are, @MyOtherTimePiece . But you are very fixated on certain standards, not just smacking but no shouting or raised voices stood out to me, and that if you fall below those standards, you are an abusive parent.

So I would be interested in what ‘not perfect’ actually looks like. For my part, I do sometimes shout and lose my patience / temper. Sometimes I know I was being a bit unfair and apologise for it. I did apologise profusely to DS yesterday as I thought he’d stolen some cake and he hadn’t. He didn’t seem overly traumatised, especially since it meant he got some cake. Other times I point out that no one listened when I asked politely and calmly the first three times. I don't think it's ideal, nor do I think it's something to really worry and self-flagellate over.

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:22

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:19

I didn't say some conflict though did I? I said:

If you choose to hit and/or shout at your children because you can't control yourself, that's for you to live with.

You said that's normal.

I said it's not.

I can live with it just fine. Most families experience shouting and most people grow up fine.

DestituteDesperate · 13/09/2026 18:24

No(t yet)

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:25

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:22

I think that most of us are, @MyOtherTimePiece . But you are very fixated on certain standards, not just smacking but no shouting or raised voices stood out to me, and that if you fall below those standards, you are an abusive parent.

So I would be interested in what ‘not perfect’ actually looks like. For my part, I do sometimes shout and lose my patience / temper. Sometimes I know I was being a bit unfair and apologise for it. I did apologise profusely to DS yesterday as I thought he’d stolen some cake and he hadn’t. He didn’t seem overly traumatised, especially since it meant he got some cake. Other times I point out that no one listened when I asked politely and calmly the first three times. I don't think it's ideal, nor do I think it's something to really worry and self-flagellate over.

Why does my opinion bother you so deeply?

And why do you keep telling me such long-winded stories about how you treat your children?

Read back through my replies and I have made myself very clear.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:25

WhatNoRaisins · 13/09/2026 18:22

I can live with it just fine. Most families experience shouting and most people grow up fine.

Good for you.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2026 18:25

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 17:40

Trust me on this: children are school and children at home are like comparing lions to your pet cat!

I’ve got three children, including DD2 who is undergoing assessment for ASD and ADHD. Parenting her has been so unbelievably challenging and yet I’ve never hit her.

AlonsoMosley · 13/09/2026 18:35

owlsatnight · 09/09/2026 19:06

Weird how it’s always running into the road that justifies the smack.

Running into the road is so dangerous you need something to grab a Childs attention.

If a child is not usually slapped, it can really shock them, and actually work.

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:36

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2026 18:25

I’ve got three children, including DD2 who is undergoing assessment for ASD and ADHD. Parenting her has been so unbelievably challenging and yet I’ve never hit her.

Okay.... So you are a perfect parent that never makes mistakes?

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:41

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:36

Okay.... So you are a perfect parent that never makes mistakes?

Must be. Only perfect parents don't hit.

AlonsoMosley · 13/09/2026 18:47

OtterlyAstounding · 10/09/2026 23:26

I thought it was useful the few times I used it, because it did work to stop my toddlers trying to touch the stove. I watched them like a hawk, of course, and tried to keep them away, but inevitably they slipped my watch and got a chance, and while I managed to yank them away in time, I wanted to ensure they never tried again. So I smacked them on the hand while shouting at them. One never did try again, and the other tried once more several months later, then not again. I'm comfortable with a smack on the hand being better than horrible burns if they'd pulled a pot off the stove.

So I think it worked effectively as a deterrent to prevent serious harm. I don't think it's an effective 'punishment' for most kids, and other strategies usually work better.

Personally though, as a pp said, in my own childhood I much preferred a smack on the bum to being sent to my room for ten minutes or so – that deeply distressed me and left me screaming and tantruming, in a right state, whereas a smack was over and done with in a second. I think time outs or other consequences can actually affect children quite deeply. My cousin was smacked growing up, but much like me (she's also autistic), what she remembers as being very traumatic was being left to 'calm down' when she had a tantrum (probably a meltdown in hindsight) as an 8/9 year old, not being smacked. I agree with pp that many other things are much more harmful to a child than a smack.

Also, many parenting choices are all about the parent and not necessarily what's in the child's best interests.

Also, many parenting choices are all about the parent and not necessarily what's in the child's best interests.

The best interests of the child is a high bar and I often wonder if it is actually achievable?

I mean, most parents decisions need to be around the collective and communal, the family. Sometimes that means that the best interests of a child take precedence, but more often than not it has to be an "also."

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:49

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:41

Must be. Only perfect parents don't hit.

Nonsense
I could call them fucking useless cunts all day long... As long I don't hit them...right.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2026 18:52

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:36

Okay.... So you are a perfect parent that never makes mistakes?

Nope! Never claimed to be perfect. I have definitely made mistakes but I will always apologise to my children when I do. I’ve shouted and I’m not proud of that and am actively trying to be better than that.

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:53

AlonsoMosley · 13/09/2026 18:35

Running into the road is so dangerous you need something to grab a Childs attention.

If a child is not usually slapped, it can really shock them, and actually work.

I do not profess to be a perfect parent in any way shape or form but I do find this one a weird one. It reminds me of the gentle parenting ‘you must never leave your child to cry’ maxim but if they are crying because they are in a car and rear facing they somehow know it is for their own good.

If smacking is abusive, it is abuse and cannot be justified at all. Personally I find the road thing weird because if my child ran out into the road my instinct would be to pull them back, not smack.

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 18:55

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/09/2026 18:52

Nope! Never claimed to be perfect. I have definitely made mistakes but I will always apologise to my children when I do. I’ve shouted and I’m not proud of that and am actively trying to be better than that.

Well, at least one other poster is arguing that loss of control like that is in itself abusive. And I have shouted myself, but where smacking is concerned I do think it's odd to fixate so strongly on one thing. I don't know if it's because it feels so tangible and visible.

It’s interesting reading posts on here from the 2000s on this subject actually.

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 19:03

OhNoooooooooooooooo · 13/09/2026 18:49

Nonsense
I could call them fucking useless cunts all day long... As long I don't hit them...right.

Nope. Already talked about that.

owlsatnight · 13/09/2026 19:05

MyOtherTimePiece · 13/09/2026 18:25

Why does my opinion bother you so deeply?

And why do you keep telling me such long-winded stories about how you treat your children?

Read back through my replies and I have made myself very clear.

It doesn’t bother me at all. I agree with some parts of it and have said so. But without wishing to sound particularly peevish, it is a discussion!