Have you ever smacked your child, given 2021 UK statistic?

[Tinkerbelle4]

Just seen this clip, not really a big fan is super nanny but was shocked to hear the UK 2021 statistic that 62% of parents had physically disciplined their child.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1HXeNmtEDB/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I’m curious- do you fall into that statistic? Especially if you have children say under 16- have you ever smacked them?

And if @OtterlyAstounding says that she thinks putting your baby into nursery for five days a week makes you a poor parent?

The thing is I have no real dog in this race. I’m part time and I don’t smack. I have done and said other things I’ve instantly regretted though and I don’t think not smacking therefore makes me superior to someone who has given their child a quick slap on the bum, which is what everyone I know who has smacked has done.

Her point is utterly irrelevant to the thread.

Hitting a child is poor parenting whether the child went to nursery or not.

Then she’s entitled to her option. I haven’t even actually said I disagree with her… this thread is about smacking, not childcare. None of my children were in full time childcare, but that’s not what we’re discussing.

Well, you don’t think it’s relevant. I do.

I think it's very sad that you hit children. I think it's even sadder that you try to cover it up by bashing working mums.

My personal belief is that you can be a perfect parent in every other way, but if you hit your child then you’re a poor parent. Regardless of what age you put your child into childcare or anything else, hitting a child makes you a bad parent. Other people are of course entitled to disagree, but that doesn’t change my option.

I don’t smack and I do work! I think you’ve confused me with the other poster.

You're a little too invested in defending people who harm children for someone who doesn't do it themself.

That statistic surprised me and I'm not sure I believe it. Who was surveyed and when

I wouldn’t have believed it either before reading this thread!

No never.

There’s plenty of parenting moments I’m not particularly proud of, I’m shoutier than I wanted or planned to be but can’t imagine ever hitting. I’ve never hit anyone, least of all the person who is completely dependent on me and I love the most in the world.

I don’t believe a slap on the bottom or legs is abusive and I agree with the previous poster on that. It really is as simple as that. I have absolutely been too rough with my children when angry and feeling helpless and frustrated which I bitterly regret. I do wonder sometimes if a quick slap might have been ‘better.’

I guess if you’ve been more violent with your child than smacking them, I can see why you’d defend smacking.

It isn’t actually defending it, especially. I am not the parent I wanted to be, and have certainly lost my shit, cried, shouted and generally been ineffective. Unfortunately, my children don’t respond to the gentle parenting ‘you’re angry we have to leave the soft play now’ approach and the firm boundaries are well and good but actually enforcing those with no more than a ‘don’t do that or I will tell you not to do it again’ is pretty difficult.

Do I like or approve of smacking? No, not especially. Do I think it’s abusive? No, not really. Do I think I’m superior to parents who have smacked their children? No, I don’t. Do I think you’re trying to needle, goad and provoke? Yes I do. Do I therefore think this will be a meaningful discussion? No, I don’t.

Well said!

Yes. I lost my temper and felt awful after, I apologised and do my best not to get that disregulated.

This is a good post

If you've been more violent than a slap then a slap may seem better. My argument is no adult should lay their hands on a child. The fact that you have done worse will not change my mind.

If you slapped an adult it would be considered violence. If you were too rough with an adult because you lost your temper it would be considered violence. So, if you do those things to a child then it is violence. If you do it repeatedly, it is abusive.

In what way? "I don't know how to parent effectively so sometimes I lose my shit/hit my children". What is good about it?

Never. I can't imagine hitting my child. I

I'll raise my voice and remove privileges when discipline is needed. That works.

So when dad ends up disabled with a brain injury through an accident, it’s choice then? Mum has to work to pay the bills as dad can’t so there is no other option than child in nursery. It’s not straightforward all the time

I'm so sorry if that is your reality.

I get the impression that poster feels that she needs to defend her choice to be a SAHM so is lashing out at working mothers.

My friend. Also if 1 person is earning say £1900 take home, that’s not a lot to support two adults and a child even with one being a SAHP

I would say I know how to parent effectively but my children have other ideas! That sounds facetious and isn’t but when the techniques that are supposed to work don’t and I’ve been exhausted and at the end of my rope I have lost my temper. Not a lot and always bitterly regretted. It’s not like I’ve thought ‘well I could ask them if they want to wear their red shoes or blue but I decided to yell at them instead.’ I actually think the techniques make it worse sometimes because when they don’t work I feel even more stressed.

It doesn’t happen often but my eldest in particular can be extremely challenging to parent. And when I’ve fallen short of what he needs (which I have) I unfailingly feel awful. I don’t think I am superior to someone who hadn’t smacked just because I haven’t smacked when I’ve fallen short in other ways. But it is good that you have never lost your temper or had to use physical force of any description.

I've never hit my children. I think it's inexcusable.