Aggressive Mumsnetters

[Idontpostmuch]

I've noticed that some boards are so much friendlier than others. What are the more hostile ones you've come across?

Still, if you often wonder about something you could ask the people who could explain to you.

It might be more enlightening than posting it on a thread seemingly intended to gain consensus about perceived aggression on various forums.

Because without accurate language to describe women/female we cant fight for any of our other rights.
Its literally that simple

"do you really think that is an appropriate way to speak to them?"

Yes, they've ASKED for advice. If they say 'do you like my dress?' people should be allowed to answer. It's not like going up to random people and critiquing their clothes.

As for constructive criticism, I guess you mean a euphemism, like 'that dress is OK, but I don't think it's that great on you' or 'I don't like it personally'. White lies like that don't really get the point across if you really think a dress is awful.

I learned this from FWR. I don’t post but sometimes read.

Many boards here have their own culture. It’s easy to get offended when trying to jump
in and join without realizing how long some of these women have been chatting with one another.

I also want to say that it’s easy to say insulting things about women you don’t know. To call them batshit, obsessed, cruel, unhinged and every other negative term we’ve seen on this thread.

But these women have experienced and are experiencing:

heart ache
loneliness
homelessness
loss of a child
sexual abuse
infidelity
caring for an adult child that will never be independent
every kind of cancer in their own body, a husband’s body, a parent’s body, a sibling’s, a friend’s body, a child’s body
ditto for mental illness
job loss
a spouse with a physical disability
caring for a sick parent

Gosh, I think that’s it for this week, based on just the little I read here.

So when you read a post that hits you in the wrong way, it’s worth taking a breath.

We aren’t unhinged, we are surviving and if it looks crazy to you, it’s not because we are crazy but because life is hard and we use this as a safe place to get through it all.

I've been accused of allsorts on the RF threads.🙄

I've had my arse handed to me multiple times in AIBU.🙈

Despite being a sex realist feminist, I've been subjected to misogynistic abuse and stalked across the boards by FWR regulars.😕

Our experiences here shape our opinions of the boards.🤷‍♀️

Yes but if established posters are offended by someone jumping on and disrupting their social hierarchy, then all they have to do is ignore them. That's probably what they do. It's aggressive responses to posts that are intimidating, not to mention puzzling and unnecessary.

It is interesting to see different opinions and I think they are welcomed on many boards. It challenges views and alter perspectives. Only a good thing.

That said, I think in certain topics, people may get tremendously bored of some who suddenly appear on a thread who seem to be there for the purpose of goading people into an argument (an endeavour to get people suspended or banned?), being extremely disingenuous, nastiness or posting things which have no basis (and will not provide any source which backs their claim).

I dislike pile ons but those who suddenly appear on a thread to disrupt it can’t then go ‘oooh meanies’ when they are challenged.

If some choose to poke at a bear to try to be smart, funny or think they’re clever? It isn’t a huge shock to see teeth. 🤷🏽‍♂️

@floofyfloofyflooffloof You've put that so well.

Was this thread created due to a specific situation? Not sure any “established posters” took notice of that one.

I do struggle with people who explode onto a thread being really quite rude, telling everyone they’re bigots and then get upset when they meet a robust response and claim to be being ‘silenced’

happens an awful lot on FWR

I do think there’s something to be said for being polite if that’s how you yourself like to be dealt with

Such a great post. Thank you 🙏🏼

So true. I hid it years ago. No reasonable debate can be had there