Aggressive Mumsnetters

[Idontpostmuch]

I've noticed that some boards are so much friendlier than others. What are the more hostile ones you've come across?

No. It’s a comment which, at best is aggressive and at worst is downright creepy. Especially from one feminist to another.

So the tone of this post isn’t at all patronising, sarcastic, unpleasant?

Totally needlessly because none of what you have put there bares any relation to anything I’ve said. And you know that really I think, but you are just trying to imply, what, that I'm part of the patriarchy because you want some sort of reaction? Which, again is just an example of needless agg exhibited by *some posters on the feminism board.

What would you seek to challenge? The Feminism board has two parts.

Challenge is the wrong word maybe. TBH, my views on the big issues align with the mainstream views. But I find the way some posters express themselves is quite spiteful. I feel like if I pointed that out I would be accused of being - a man/pro-trans/pro porn or whatever.

Fair enough.

The Royal ones are nuts, how do people have so much free time?!

FWR is literally the most monitored board/forum probably on the internet. I can assure you if someone has been 'spiteful' it will have been logged and reported and looked at.

They even call themselves 'The Monitors' and host their own forums detailing who is reporting what.

You think FWR are 'spiteful' after a decade of rape and murder threats, harasssment, doxxing, court cases, sackings, inability to even book venues, go to the pub, bomb threats, drowning out, actual violent assaults, blocking people from getting to their own venues, chasing down the street, getting venues to cancel events, threatening the venue owners, going after their families, debanking and more, and that's just off the top of my head.

And you are worried about you might be 'accused of being a man' if you 'point out' their 'spitefulness'.

If that was all we had to worry about...for knowing that biological sex exists, what a wonderful world it would be.

The Feminism boards are bloody marvellous, and I say that as the parent of a child who identifies as trans. These boards are the reason we have For Women Scotland and the Supreme Court ruling for one thing. Women’s rights are directly protected as a result of actions from some of these posters and to reduce it to toilets is actually insulting.

Yes the responses can be robust on there, but they have constant accusations of hatred and transphobia when mostly it is nothing of the sort. It’s trying to prevent the erosion of women’s rights, and a specific cohort of males being able to circumvent them.

Anyway, personally I find The Dog House pretty scary! I’m a cat person myself but there are some pretty passionate posters on there.

If it's an insult, it's an insult to the dress, which is an object with no feelings!
I personally want to know if my dress is considered frumpy by others. ,
Maybe there should be a trigger warning on top of the thread? "People excessively sensitive to other people's clothes should go elsewhere?" The thread is useful to the rest of us.

I take your point, but it's only "we" in the context of this thread.

When someone says something like "they all hate trans people" they are demeaning and lying about a whole group of different people. So when I say "we" in response I mean speaking as one of the group demeaned, l know I don't think that so I know "we" are not being portrayed fairly. I am not suggesting a hive mind on anything else!

But the thing about FWR maybe more than any of the other boards is there is a groundhog day quality where people come to the board again and again with the same old propositions that have been debated and found lacking.

Ideally, the arguments would then move on to the poster who made the proposition addressing the various contra points raised but that never happens because generally the poster either switches to insults or feels insulted themself and leaves.

So from the perspective of the women on the board, who while not a hive mind generally do care a lot about the impact on women of redefining womenhood as a mental rather than a physical attribute, it does feel like one is making the same fairly clear arguments again and again to people who are not bothering to read the board and get a sense for previous discussions before jumping in with "But have you considered XYZ...", to which the answer is almost always going to be "Yes, many times. Have you considered that if XYZ were to be true/were to happen, the consequences for female people would then be ABC... is that something you want to happen/think is reasonable?"

I can see from the POV of someone new it probably feels like women are just knee jerk replying without thinking. But the reality is most people who post regularly on FWR have been thinking about it deeply for a long time, and through posting have not only talked and thought through exactly where they stand and why on pretty much all the key arguments, but also through explaining the same points so many times have refined their answers so they are ready to go.

I hope you'll come back. If you lurk a while you'll probably find it far less harsh than you fear. Just please, either bring a new perspective or be ready to argue an old one properly!

I think that the FWR board is unique and people on here who do not like it misunderstand its purpose.

It is a call to arms to defend women's rights, it is not a place to debate trans rights, or this so called nuance, whatever that means.

It is a place for women who describe themselves as gender critical or sex realists. A place where women from all backgrounds and political allegiances to come together, inform each other of new developments, reports of legal proceedings, and anything else that is relevant to the sex matters agenda.

there are very well known women who contribute, and report in.

Some posters on FWR are more hard line than others, we are not a hive mind and debate and disagree on detail quite often.

people who show up on said board, threads to argue that we all have it wrong, there is nuance, unsurprisingly get short shrift.

if a person does not agree that women’s rights are under threat by trans activism, surrogacy, or that children can be trans just don’t go there.

its not a place for you.

i love it myself, full of funny intelligent women.

Gently, taking your replies on this thread as a whole, there is a pattern of you reacting to meanings/agression you perceive in phrases that others would read differently.

I am not telling you how to feel, but I am suggesting you may be being unfair when you ascribe specific motives and meanings to people.

if a person does not agree that women’s rights are under threat by trans activism, surrogacy, or that children can be trans just don’t go there.

Sorry, gonna disagree here (not a hive mind 😂)

Do come! Just please, bring some A-game logic and debate. And who knows, we might actually get somewhere!

Yes but they don’t do they ,don’t want too it’s to hard to shift one’s opinion for some people, that is fine.

I got a good old battering when i first showed up with a “nuanced” be kind mind set.

what I had to do was read, look into information provided, validate said information, and read a mountain of books from both angles

We never hear hordes of transmen demanding to use the Gents, do we?

Agree about fgm. Vile practice.

I see the thread has gone the way all others like this do 🤦‍♀️

Well yeah. You (general you) can't expect to point your finger at a group of people and say they are all hateful bigots who believe X without those people taking issue and wanting to reply.

Again let's be clear, the only reason this subject is on this thread is that it was raised by people who disagree with FWR posters.

So if you don't want threads to "go this way", maybe don't do the one exact thing that will cause them to go this way?

The Royal Family and FWR forums.

I’m not here to police your obsession.

There is no nuance.

Starting a separate post to make it clear I'm not casting aspertions at a specific PP (and absolutely not at OP who I think tried to avoid this)...

One can't help wondering whether this is in fact exactly the reaction some posters wanted to get so they can complain about "those dreadful FWR women are brigading an innocent thread again!", never mentioning that said dreadful women weren't posting at all until someone else slagged them off.

It's the old witch trial logic - be nice, don't defend yourself and you implicitly accept the charge, or defend yourself and have that used as proof you are obsessed with the topic.

Hey, it's just advice.

The power to stop threads going "like this" is with you.

But if you prefer to provoke it then complain when people react, that's also entirely your choice.

What isn't under your control however is preventing anyone else pointing it out.

Many posters are dreadful in that way, feminism aside. They take every opportunity to say things like 'I could never be dependent on a man.' or 'I value my independence.' or 'I'd be bored out of my mind.' or ' Don't you ever want to do something with your life?' The trouble is that then many others come out of the woodwork to support them and anyone at all moderate in their views stays quiet, leaving the person who's been attacked feeling as if everyone's like that.

I find the feminism board really welcoming and informative. AIBU can be brutal.

I didn't start the thread and I wasn't the first to mention the feminism board but this seems to be really bothering you. I won't reply again as you seem very agitated about a thread on a forum. Take care.