Aggressive Mumsnetters

[Idontpostmuch]

I've noticed that some boards are so much friendlier than others. What are the more hostile ones you've come across?

I’m on several threads started by women experiencing domestic abuse.

The women of this forum are amazing and incredible. Even the old obsessed bitches from <insert forum you don’t like here> are there, offering hope and support and encouragement to women experiencing their darkest days.

I think that’s worth discussing more than all the things someone wants to kvetch about.

Fortunately no-one ever sees you being anything less than lovely. 🙈

Golly have some people complaining about aggression got deleted

very erm ironic

I have had lots of personal attacks. Spanning 10+ years you have posters that will twist what you said. Add things you didn't say.others join in and the thread derails. Some posters decide something isn't true. Acuse the poster being a troll. I even had somone report me to social services it was years ago but they still done it. All based on stuff posters had twisted. I was called by social services but nothing came of it.

At one point I had mentioned how it was effecting me rather than back off the reply was if your mental health is suffering that much get of the mumsnet. Wasn't said kindly.

Everything built up I felt totally out of control. I starved myself for weeks because I felt so out of control. Thing is people either forget its a person behind the screen or don't care.

I started a thread asking for some advice about holiday locations once. Man alive it was brutal. Never again.

Mumsnet is a weird (but strangely compelling and entertaining) place

How did they know who you are ie your name and county, to be able to report you to social services?

Why do you care?
What does it matter to you?
What do you hope to achieve from this questioning beyond making another Mnetter feel worse?

I don't really remember i think at the time I was to trusting /open. I could have said the bough I lived.its Possible I could have mentioned a name. Things gathered from other threads. I'm not really sure. I guess i must have given enough info for it to be worked out i wouldn't have given my actual address out though so i don't know myself im I'm litterly just guessing. I just remember a poster saying they where going to copy the whole thread and report me social services.

Do you not think it of relevance as an anonymity failure?

@Hoardasurass was concerned with that

she was not suggesting a lie was made.

see how easy it is to be misconstrued

i think sometimes what is missing is an apology when this happens.

misunderstandings happen a lot

apologies are much rarer

I think there are definitely a few aggressive posters but mostly I think it is down to tone being tricky to get from mere words on a page. Some take offence and a bunfight will ensue.

Sarcasm or humour is mistaken by some as a full on attack. Some of the RF threads for example can be very funny. The poetry especially.

I’ve lurked forever on various boards and have seen some wonderful advice given to people who have been in desperate situations.

The words may be blunt sometimes but the good intention and compassion can be seen in abundance.

I’m sorry that some here have not had that experience.

I didn't mind being asked. Its a normal question. Not that I could clearly answer it 😭.

Chatgpt said it could have been found over many threads something like i could have said ds is 2 tomorrow don't know what to get for his birthday.. thats a date of birth right away. I could have shared his name. I have definitely shared my borough when talking about certain situations.

@Missbob A warning to all of us to be careful. Sorry this happened to you. Trouble is you get MN users who are both malicious and unhinged. Have you made MNHQ aware of this?

This particular situation was 10 years ago. Just thought it was a safe one to mention because it was so long ago. It didn't really cause a real life problem just a 2 min phone call.

I suspect it would have been someone you knew IRL, who recognised you

I don’t think any of us ‘hate trans people’. We are just hugely disturbed by the trans industry and trans lobby and their insidious attempts to indoctrinate young children. All so very wrong.

Oh yes, you did say 10 yrs ago. Still spooky though

This. I agree that people can’t change sex. However, as someone who’s not from the UK, I often wonder why things like the price of childcare or maternity benefits aren’t seen as more of a problem on the the feminism boards. I would expect them to have a much bigger impact on the everyday lives of women.

The FWR board in question was specifically set up to hive off all discussions about 'sex and gender' and this is why they all revolve around 'sex and gender'.

No not at all I'm 100% sure of that. No one in real life knew my situation and I had no friends or family to tell. I mean absolutely no one. And the posters were already threatening to copy the thread and report to social services.

If you want to start a thread about this I’m sure many will join!

Thanks. Both issues were fixed decades ago in my country by women who fought very hard for them.

Is that Iceland? Easier to do in a Nordic country than a country controlled by the right-wing media.

Although even the Telegraph has an article today about the nonsensical cliff-edge if you earn £100K (personally I think anyone should get tax relief on childcare for two children regardless of how much they earn as it's a cost of working).

As for aggressive, I would generally never make a personal attack but I did on one thread where someone accused me of lying. When someone who doesn't know you tells you something didn't happen which very much did, that is more than annoying!

That’s a fair point.

It isn’t. However, larger Scandinavian countries have also solved this either by offering free care or capping costs. I do understand the UK is a different society and that makes things more conplicated. I think the 30 free hours has been a great step forward. Agree with you that the 100K cliff-edge is ridiculous, particularly in high cost of living areas. Hopefully it can be solved in the future.