Aggressive Mumsnetters

[Idontpostmuch]

I've noticed that some boards are so much friendlier than others. What are the more hostile ones you've come across?

Opinions are not right or wrong. They're simply an opinion expressed by an individual poster.

Its OK for people to love FWR/ The Royal Family/ AIBU, if that is their experience of it. It's OK for people to find the FWR /AIBU /Royal Family forum an aggressive or hostile place if that has been their experience of it.🤷‍♀️

No you'd be accused of tone policing which is kind of what you are doing.
Its the old bananarama defence ie its not what we say its the way we say it.

What is sad for people posting with genuine problems about their lives that they would like advice and support on, is that the relationships board seems to be subject to a lot of made up threads, and OPs either never returning to their threads or giving multiple updates regarding an increasingly improbable situation .

I think most women on FWR are remarkably patient, tolerant and restrained, given the fuckwittery they regularly encounter. .

Just look at what happens when random ‘new posters’ <strokes chin> start yet another thread asking oh-so-innocently why women on FWR hate trans people so much or some other such nonsense fucking question.

I have no patience with this shit and would happily just tell the trolls to piss off back to Reddit, but what happens pretty much every time is that intelligent women engage in a reasonable manner, explaining patiently for the millionth time that it’s about defending sex-based rights and not hating anybody. Inevitably it’s a waste of time as once the OP realises they are not going to get the ruck they came for and/or has no answers that make any sense to basic questions like ‘what is a woman?’ they do indeed fuck off back to Reddit.

It’s all very civilised, if tiresome.

Women on FWR are more likely to be incredibly weary than aggressive.

You lost me at knowing what people think - you don't. You only know what individuals say or do.
Then at "brigade", the hallmark of a poster not actually engaging with arguments and ideas.

Can you imagine if we were allowed to just say 'oh fuck off Dave'?

We weren't allowed to roll our eye emojis/post a doughnut/or a glitter ball for a decade and yet still get called 'far too aggressive'. It is a fucking farce.

Thats weird - making stuff up. But I still.dont get the personal attack. If they think its weird, scroll on OR just answer as if they think its genuine - the advice might help someone. Thanks for that insight though. I hadnt appreciated the potential issues.

I've been a feminist since dinosaurs roamed the earth and I've been challenged on the feminist boards on a number of occasions. I am just as entitled to my views as anybody else, but sure as eggs is eggs I'm not going to risk that sort of unpleasantness towards me again.

< for 'challenged' read 'torn limb from limb'>

Likewise. I’ve been doing work to support women and girls, mostly in feminist spaces, for my entire career. I’ve encountered plenty of “robust debate” and I’ve never encountered what exists over in that space.

@OtterlyAstounding

And I still don't think the feminist board is the most aggressive one, but if it were that might be because it's constantly besieged by MRAs, TRAs, and well-intended 'be kinders'.

Apart from the fact that many men regularly post on FWR under ambiguous usernames, this statement above is a key problem for anyone who simply wants to use the forum. Unless they are well-known, the assumption is made they are a TRA, MRA, a ‘be kinder’, or worse. There is usually no reason for this except for the fact they are new or may be stating/asking something a bit contentious.

Most posters in FWR seem to find it difficult to comprehend that actual feminists exist that don’t think exactly like them, but yet are not TRAs.

See there? Assumptions. “Trolls from Reddit”. I have no doubt some posters come from Reddit, but why put every poster you don’t like in that basket?

And no, IME, the women (and men, don’t forget them!) of FWR are not tolerant and restrained at all.

Posters are called ‘Dave’ often and sworn at. You want to be more aggressive?

Well no, the complete opposite.

That is why I said 'Can you imagine'...because if that happened we would immediately be banned.

They DO come from Reddit, post often very aggressive and 'transphobic' stuff and then screenshot themselves and post it back on Reddit to show just how 'transphobic' FWR is.

You really are not keeping up with the issue here!

I was surprised to find that the food boards can be quite brutal. I once read a long discussion about soup makers that became quite heated (no pun intended). I didn’t know that it was such a divisive topic, but it was entertaining nonetheless 😂.

I recall that being an example of a feminism-tinged ruck on MN around 20 years ago, when Dittany was a significant FWR poster and there were regular SAHM/Working Mum set-tos all over the site. I am guessing that particular complainant has had FWR hidden ever since. 😁

Unless they are well-known, the assumption is made they are a TRA, MRA, a ‘be kinder’, or worse.

Not my experience at all, and I change username regularly and post against the consensus often

I did write “I have no doubt some posters come from Reddit, but why put every poster you don’t like in that basket?” This means I know that some do come Reddit, but it is the tarnishing of all users FWR don’t like as TRAs from Reddit that is incorrect.

That’s unusual, and I’m glad that you haven’t had any problems.

Will this is a thread asking for your views and I'm giving them.

Yes to the point it is hard to tell you is in which side or what point they are making.

My view on some of these boards is they do have haters posting. Not the majority of posts but they are there. What lets the other posters down is that they accept and do not challenge these posts. But they do lay into people with less extreme opinions who aren’t even significantly disagreeing with them.

I don't put 'every poster' 'i don't like' into any basket. On the contrary I actually love 'posters I do not like' beccause it is very easy to contradict their nonsense with facts and truth. Also why I rarely report anything.

But if the people on here are going to use 'they' to descibe all FWR posters then I am surely ok with using 'they' to describe all the people that come from REDDIT to post 'transphobic' stuff and screenshot it just to show how 'transphobic' 'we' are. They are a group that are specific to FWR. They monitor us and are quite blatant about it.

Well you did ask why Camilla was queen ?

Was someone bothered that their thread didn’t go as planned?

It seems like that was the intent of the thread, a big bun fight.

Well, I love you all. So there.

Big dysfunctional family of women that offer their ESH generously and wisely most of the time. (Experience, strength, Hope)

Kisses!