Partner unhappy with my outfit choice for a warm barbecue

[Beachlover1993]

So im Currently at a bbq with friends, only a few i dont know.
Its really quite warm and sunny, what i would call beach weather. My DP has quesgioned my chice of clothing on this paricularly warm day which consists of denim mini skirt and a close fitting crop top, its alittle sheer with diamantee style lettering to the front.
In heat like this i would normally be in a bikini in the garden.
I think hes well out of order

No. She isn't

Are you not enjoying the company?

Wear what you want and ignore him. It’s not a formal occasion is it?

Thank you i did feel he was being a prude on this occassion

Is your partner also policing the men who have removed their T-shirts for "showing too much pecks"?

Is he controlling in other ways than over your body/clothes?

No, just not all outfits are suitable for all occasions. By 33, you should be aware of that, tbh.

Yes i am, everyone is talking seems v relax

It’s ok for the men to be top less of course but @Beachlover1993 looks tacky apparently….

Im 33 not 63

Denim mini skirt and a sheer cropped top is an outfit a youngster would wear to a festival/outdoor Ibiza vibe event.

I'm not big on saying that we're too old for certain clothes, because I firmly believe that we should wear what we want and feel comfortable in.

You'd have been better to have swapped the cropped top for a vest top or a snazzy t-shirt, for a more casual 'grown-up' look. Cropped tops are notoriously known as an item of clothing under 20's wear.

Your partner is entitled to his opinion, of which you can choose to ignore. Surely you'd rather he was honest if he thought you'd misjudged an outfit, than say nothing? There's a difference between sharing an opinion to demanding you change your clothes and/is rude/controlling. I'd rather my husband was honest with me, than saying nothing and me making a tit of myself! No one else is going to make a comment to you, unless they were a very good friend and felt comfortable enough to say something. It doesn't mean they aren't thinking it though!

Yes, that's my point.

First time hes commented today, i do get the impression he dosnt like me chatting yoo much to the other men with the shirts off yeah

Emmm would you mind not being ageist?

im almost 60 and if i want to wear whatever i like im just as entitled to as you are.

I guess it depends on the BBQ. But I don't think you should be dictated to either way. You should wear exactly what you please. Presuming you feel confident and it looks considerably flattering.

A man saying his gf is showing 'too much leg' sounds like some cunt from the 1890s. Its a huge red flag.

Wear what you want. There’ll come a time when you can’t wear such an outfit! Take advantage.

Love to know where you are to wear that though. Bit nippy here now!

Thanks for that, maybe top was a bit hasty as was kinda first thing i saw. A couple of men have said nice top but now im begining i zhould have gone for plan crop top instead

If you’ve got it flaunt it. It’s warm as fuck anyway. I’ve been dressing in things mumsnet would considered scandalous all summer - I don’t know how many perky tit years I have left so I want to enjoy it!

Bit weird to comment, does he normally police what you wear? Are his mates a bit pervy? That’s the only thing I can think of. My husband has an uncle and the first time I met him DH warned me and said he’s a bit of a creep so maybe put a cardigan on - the only time he’s told me what to wear in almost 10 years and tbh I’m glad he warned me lol.

Does sound bit child like but suppose it depends on how old you are.

I'm 64, am I not allowed?

Not strange at all. An outfit to go out to a bar or club is way different from an outfit appropriate to wear to a family barbecue with friends.

The right to wear what we please as women has literally been fought and died for. Wear what you like OP and don’t let anyone control you

Im 58. Am I not allowed either? I was sitting out the back earlier in a crop top - but apparently the op only thinks free choice exists if you’re under 40 or something?

Because she said the other women are in skirts/shorts with blouses or t-shirts. The OP's early description of her own outfit seemed like a see-through, tight fitting, sequinned crop top. That sounds to me like she'd look like she was dressed quite differently to the other women.

Less is more sometimes. I wouldnt want to see blokes with their tops off either.

You could wear what you are wearing at 63 IMO 😊 love seeing people wear what they want with confidence no matter the age. What you are wearing sounds lovely, unfortunately there are a few posters on Mumsnet who appear to despise women with the slightest bit of self confidence.
Bet a few already said it sounds cheap or tacky

Tell him to wind it in.