Partner unhappy with my outfit choice for a warm barbecue

[Beachlover1993]

So im Currently at a bbq with friends, only a few i dont know.
Its really quite warm and sunny, what i would call beach weather. My DP has quesgioned my chice of clothing on this paricularly warm day which consists of denim mini skirt and a close fitting crop top, its alittle sheer with diamantee style lettering to the front.
In heat like this i would normally be in a bikini in the garden.
I think hes well out of order

Denim skirt sounds fine but not sure about see through crop top with diamantes? That does seem more like club wear. Or holiday/festival wear.

But he sounds like a moody old sod and nobody should be telling you what to wear.

Did he mean it as it’s not really appropriate for a bbq or was he bothered you were showing skin?

get off yr phone and go and get a burger. They're nearly all gone.

Yeah it is a festival like top if im being honest but thought it would be fine for bbq as would wear it at a festival

Of course you can wear what ever you wish, it’s not up to him. Sounds a bit naff though, the skirt with a nice tshirt or tank would be better.

Are the others of a similar age to you dressed in a similar style to you? Tbh, in my crowd you'd stand out, and not in a good way, dressed like that at a daytime BBQ over the age of about 18, but you know your crowd best.

Well, it sounds a bit tacky, but of course you can wear what you want.

Well you live and learn.

Lmao ive had a hot dog and prosecco is in hand lol

My DH would point out I’m dressed like my 12 year old niece which would be enough for me to get changed.

I don’t think he’d worry I was dressed immodesty, just that I looked a bit of a tool 😂

She’s old enough to pick her own clothes. Don’t worry. You, her boyfriend or partner don’t need to decide for her 🙄. Like l say to my toddler twins “she’s a big girl…”

Well, that does make it sound like you're the odd one out and the shirt sounds like it's really not at all suitable for an afternoon BBQ. Too late now. Just enjoy yourself and consider something different next time.

generally whether something is appropriate is down to what others are wearing too - if they are all casual shorts and baggy t shirts, and you look like you are headed to an Ibiza club I can see his point but of course you can’t know in advance and what does he expect you to do??? My dh wouldn’t dare open his mouth though

If your boyfriend like the outfit on nights out it doesn't seem like he's being controlling.
A mini skirt and see through top doesn't seem like a good outfit for any occasion.

Club or festival, maybe. Chill afternoon bbq, doesn’t sound like it’s appropriate.

The guys are literally topless at this point. How is OP the odd one out.

I didn’t say formal BBQ, I said casual. Nobody else would comment regardless of what they think, your boyfriend should have done the same

I'm a mid-forties professional and am currently wearing (short!) shorts and a slightly cropped halterneck. I am going to meet my friend for a wine soon and will not be changing. I don't care if others think I look cheap, I know I am not and I like my outfit. Women can wear what they want. If he was approaching it with genuineness (e.g. If you'd asked him and he said 'That colour doesn't look great on you in all honesty, that other top, you look gorgeous in!') or he thought you'd be too hot/cold/uncomfortable or such then fine.

I really cant see the issue, its not exactly a sheer top either so maybe too much skin.
The reason i wore it was a last minute invite and it is hot today. I was earlier in my own garden laying on the sun

It’s totally fine OP. Ignore the prudes -
including your DH

Well you are to old to be wearing skimpy outfits at a family/friends Bbq yes.

I do 'sort of' agree with this as I might feel out of place in that situation, or if I got to an event I thought was casual and everyone was in white tie or such! But, for a casual event, does it really matter if you're genuinely happy with your clothes?

Thanks for the confidence vote

Wear what you like and feel comfortable in! It's your body. Honestly all the people commenting about it sounding "tacky" or too young are so unreasonable. If this was any other description of an outfit they'd be up in arms about how no one should tell someone how to dress, but just because it's a diamante crop top there's suddenly an exception.

Back to the victorian era then