Partner unhappy with my outfit choice for a warm barbecue

[Beachlover1993]

So im Currently at a bbq with friends, only a few i dont know.
Its really quite warm and sunny, what i would call beach weather. My DP has quesgioned my chice of clothing on this paricularly warm day which consists of denim mini skirt and a close fitting crop top, its alittle sheer with diamantee style lettering to the front.
In heat like this i would normally be in a bikini in the garden.
I think hes well out of order

She’s not at work, she’s with friends and can wear whatever she wants

Appropriate doesn’t always need to be about the fit, or how much flesh it shows.

it could be this. This is the vibe I’m getting.

"Showing too much leg" and your top's too tight 😂
Sorry, but if my DH started telling me what I should or shouldn't be wearing I'd tell him to get knotted and I'll wear what I like.
You're only being unreasonable if you take any notice of him.

You know that people don’t need to dress like their friends? Some people enjoy individuality and have their own style. I’m sure her friends are used to her and couldn’t care less that she’s not bothered about following the status quo

If he's questioning your style, he's correct. If he's questioning the 'modesty' he's out of order.

Of course, a classy person would be the sort judge someone's attire. And would form a sentence like this.

A diamanté crop top and denim mini skirt seems like an outfit from the early 2000's to me. Maybe worn with a cowboy hat and boots like a Jessica Simpson music video.

So you look like your going clubbing?

😆It does a bit to me, but I still don't judge OP for it (not saying you are either).

OP is this what your partner said 'don't wear that unless you have a Stetson to match'.

No I think I'm just old and maybe fashion has come back around again!

This.

Agree im in my 60's
You wear what you want take no notice if you fell ok then ignore and enjoy 😃

Yes, I do, but I was asked how OP was the odd one out in terms of clothing, so I answered.

Exactly this!!

I would want someone to tell me if I look like an idiot.

I would not want someone telling me I am showing too much/too little skin.

Ouch!

The outfit just sounds a bit tacky.

If he has a habit of being controlling/critical/insecure then it is a different story, but it just sounds like you you made a poor fashion choice this one time.

People saying 'you can wear what you want': in reality most of us tend to think about a style that will fit the occasion, suits us and is considered appropriate. Which is we don't wear pyjamas at work or bikinis in supermarket. My point is saying 'you can wear what you want' is a bit naive.

obviously you can wear what you like but tbh most people wouldn't wear the same sort of outfit to a day bbq as they would going clubbing/for an evening out, so he might have a point. It's possible you look fine and he's being a twat, but also possible that your look is a bit inappropriate/unusual for the setting and he just didn't express himself well.

If he had said 'you look great but I think everyone else is going to be a lot more casually dressed. You might want to wear something else if you don't want to stand out, but up to you, you look gorgeous either way,' would you still be annoyed? i.e., is it the message itself or the delivery?

By casual I'm thinking plain t shirt with the miniskirt, or baggy trousers with a crop top btw, not twinset and pearls! As described your outfit isn't what I or any of my 30-odd year old family members or friends would wear to a casual bbq, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.

I do draw the line at looking too scruffy for public! I'd nip to the corner shop in a pair of tracksuit bottoms perhaps (if I owned any!) but not anywhere involving socialising with others.

yeah but equally it's a casual day barbeque with friends, not a night out clubbing...

I feel pretty sad for them tbh. What a miserable existence 😔

Is it wrong of partners to comment negatively about an outfit?
I feel like men get unfairly shot down in flames for doing this.
@Beachlover1993 sure you can wear what you want, but why is it wrong of your partner to comment on it if he thinks it doesn't look good?
Sometimes I tell my DH that a particular shirt or Tshirt doesn't suit him if it really doesn't look good on him, and other times I tell him what he's wearing looks great on him if it does look good. Is it wrong of me to comment on the clothes that genuinely don't look flattering on him?

I don't think so. I commented similar upthread. 'That top doesn't look as nice as that other one you had on the other day' or 'I don't think that dress suits your shape very well' fine. But even then, if your DP decides they'd still like to wear it, that's their choice.

I don't think a top and skirt of any sort would be unsuitable really. But then I wouldn't wear denim to a nightclub so what do I know.

No haranguing, just puzzled.

Wear what you want OP, your DP should keep his opinions to himself unless specifically asked .

I am 40 and wear crop tops, I look great, as I am sure do you.