Partner kicking off over “autumn decor”

[inkyspells]

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy decorating for autumn..nothing crazy just a few small candles /floral decorations and a nice candle.
Anyway partner told me I can’t put anything out till October.
i was in spare bedroom and seen a little candle “vanilla pumpkin” I thought oh il just put it on unit and maybe light it when it’s dark.

Partner just really kicked off
Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Anyway I’ve just put it back in the cupboard

Was I wrong to go against him and put the candle out ?
Even tho he said October

Candles are for every season.

Does he dictate the rest of your life too?

No wonder the planet is on fire if people put the heating on when the temperature momentarily drops below 21 degrees. Have you lot never heard of a cardigan?

@inkyspells first off all tell him to fuck off. Then buy as many Halloween and Christmas scented candles you can find and light them all.

But it's only a few weeks until the Christmas tree goes up!

I'm ready to decorate for Autumn, I've even been thinking of decorating a tree in an autumn style.
But I live on my own and have no one to tell me I can't or berate me for it being "too early"

You need to ask yourself why you've focused on the candle and not the way you were spoken to, because that's your real issue x

If he’s this controlling over a scented candle, I’d advise you to think carefully about life with him beyond autumn.

Sadly previous threads just show how awful this man is, truly awful.

It's been 25 degrees and sunny in Hertfordshire!

Where are you in Scotland

Too early? Of course not! Get the Christmas decorations out while you are there.

I left my lemon scented candle on the table outside while I went away on holiday. It melted in the heat. Temperatures are lower now so you are safe.

It may shock you but the weather varies throughout the UK!

I think September is fine for decorating for autumn. But your husband is a dick for causing such an argument over it.

At the end of the day, it’s a candle

well I kind of get where he is coming from. People are still hanging onto summer and you're there with pumpkin candles. It's annoying.

Its still summer so that would do my head in.
We're rushed enough through the year why cant people just chill.

Autumn starts September 22. And your favorite season is autumn. I'm not sure he isn't being controlling.

Does he "take the Joy" from everything you like? To me that's the bigger issue.

If may be a bit early but really is it that important that it generates him kicking off. If it brings you a little joy then go for it. If he’s going to react like this I’d worry what else is he going to make a fuss about. It’s a candle fgs !!
I am in the decorate for autumn camp and I have put some stuff out - nobody actually should care !!

Autumn decor? When we've got another week of August still to go? Sorry but I think YABU.

I bought 2 Reed diffusers the other day in pumpkin spiced latte or something and got them out smelling the house out. And a pumpkin shaped candle from B&M. Hubby fine about it he knows I love autumn. If he got really nasty with you about it I think there's more to discuss with him other than candles tbh.

His reaction was completely OTT. You should be able to put a candle out, he shouldn't be nasty about it which it sounds like he was.
Personally I think its too early, its still August, its summer nice and warm.
But it was only a candle not a pumpkin! I think not doing autumn Dec's until October is about right but his reaction was not ok

Same here @TheQueenOfEverything Midlands. 23-24C and blazing sun all day. Gonna be like this for the next 3 days at least... Then thunderstorms I think... Still warm though, at least 21-22C. And a bit humid.

OP it is of course perfectly reasonable for you to light a candle and decorate if you want to. If he really hates it, then you get places you can have it the way you want and he can have his undecorated space.

BUT I am a bit interested that you have not responded about the money issues, because, while some people are just weird control freaks, I could see that maybe he isn't seeing this as being about the candle being there as much as not waiting until October to buy it (ie; budgeting) if you have a tendency to leak money on these things.

I could be totally wrong about this, but I feel as though maybe there is something at the back of this that you are trivialising by making it about the candle?

I have just had friends have a huge relationship hurdle this summer over where to go on holiday and, while it seemed like a control thing on her DH's part, once everything was unpacked (pun intended!) finances were at the back of it - and often are behind tensions.

Or maybe he is just a total domineering idiot.

You’re not wrong if it’s what you like. Get the candle back out if it makes you happy. Your husband sounds like a right nasty arsehole, sorry you have to deal with that. Tell the fun sponge to bugger off and stop being so controlling. 🙄

What is he? Decor Police?

Being told no to a candle would piss me off. It's not like you've devoted a whole room to pumpkin spice.

I'd probably pop the Xmas tree up while he's at work tomorrow just to piss him off but I'm a petty arsehole.

He is being an idiot. Something has rifled him! We have diff scent candles all year round. Pumpkin included!! Put your candle back out and tell him to grow up.

“ Completely agree with him “ .
That’s what you have to say for yourself 🙄.

How about , “ Tell him to fuck off & get a grip , & stop taking his shit “ .