Partner kicking off over “autumn decor”

[inkyspells]

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy decorating for autumn..nothing crazy just a few small candles /floral decorations and a nice candle.
Anyway partner told me I can’t put anything out till October.
i was in spare bedroom and seen a little candle “vanilla pumpkin” I thought oh il just put it on unit and maybe light it when it’s dark.

Partner just really kicked off
Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Anyway I’ve just put it back in the cupboard

Was I wrong to go against him and put the candle out ?
Even tho he said October

Would you do this?

Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Blimey best get the school shoes pronto or you will be queueing round the block in Clarkes 😂

You've got the heating on? In august?

It was 13oC where I am this morning…..

I mean, it is too early. Even the Emma Bridgewater lot haven’t started yet! But still, if you want a pumpkin candle on the cupboard, have one! I have a very nice selection of large woodland animals I put out each autumn that my partner hates. First of September, out they come, with the Halloween pottery! Oh and your partner sounds like he’s a knob, so remind him that relationships are 50-50 and supporting your partner costs nothing.

You go for it OP! Some people are already excited for autumn. DD has had full autumn decor up in her room for two weeks now! Just popped into her room and she’s wearing Primark’s autumn PJs (which are gorgeous by the way), burning a pumpkin spice candle and reading under an autumn themed blanket! She’s in total bliss as it’s her favourite season.

I don’t decorate for autumn personally but I do have a lovely pumpkin shaped casserole dish I’ll be using from September 1st and I’m looking forward to it.

Your partner sounds miserable. Nip to primark tomorrow, then send him to the shop and while he’s out decorate the whole room - pumpkins, autumn leaf garland, the lot!

It is a little early, I would probably wait until the Harvest moon

Does he usually boss you about like this? And do you usually meekly obey?

Nip it in the bud, or in twenty years you'll be like the woman on here at the moment asking if other users are "allowed" (by their partners) to go away overnight.

I light candles all year round and don't care what season they're meant to be for , if I like the smell He's being ridiculous and miserable .

He probably suffers from S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder) and seeing things like that makes him feel miserable?
I suffer from that and seeing anything Autumn and winter related makes my stomach churn and if my husband did something like you did i would probably get upset too and snap at him... even when the days start to get shorter or seeing the leaves turning red on the tree gives me severe depression... as though experiencing death lol Some of us just wish it was spring and summer all year round 😢

Who put him in charge?
Do what you like in your own house, unless there is a real reason not to. E.g. I am allergic to perfume, so don't want scented candles in my house but I wouldn't try to stop my partner putting up unscented decorations if they want to.

Am not a big fan of seasonal decor but it is something you enjoy so you should be able to do this. Assuming that you are not repainting the entire house. More concerning is him thinking he can tell you what you can an and can’t do. This is not what marriage or a partnership is meant to be. I am not usually a fan of knee jerk LTB responses but in this case I really don’t know why you are staying.

https://bullerwell.co.uk/candle-fires-how-bad-are-they/

@OhNoooooooooooooooo

"Candles are only dangerous when left unattended"

Not necessarily.

"Common Causes: Leaving a candle alone, placing things that burn too close, or letting children touch them." Butterwells.

A partner ‘kicking off’ and being ‘nasty’ is not reasonable behaviour. Particularly about a candle.

It is ridiculous to think about "Autumn decor" when we still have another month of summer to go. However, his reaction is disproportionate and you should address this first, rather than the stupid candle.

In a week or so it will be Autumn

I can see where he's coming from. It would drive me insane to live with someone who was always decorating the house for a holiday or event that was several months away. By the time the event itself finally arrives, I'd be well over it. I won't even put up the Christmas tree until Christmas Eve.

That said, you're not me and you get a kick out of this stuff. I wouldn't say he's being abusive, but he is being rude and inconsiderate over what is really just a harmless candle. If he loved and respected you, he would enjoy seeing you do things that made you happy.

I burn ‘autumn’ candles all year round as those are the scents I like.

He sounds like an arse. This isn’t about the candle.

Can’t believe these responses! 1st September is just over a week away…. How the fuck is it too early for autumn?!

I generally do my mug changeover towards the mid/end September, Harvest moon mug comes out day before the moon. Then Christmas changeover 1st December.

Personally I hate scented candles but I would never speak to my partner like that. He's a nasty condescending piece of shit OP and he talks to you like you're something similar on his shoe...

I would not put up with someone who doesn't speak to me respectfully.

I'd get rid of him and enjoy the peace and quiet and my candles (unscented!) alone. Who needs agro like that in their lives? Not me.

I think you can have a candle whenever you want too. Why just for autumn? And it's feeling pretty autumnal now too.

How does he get full rule of the roost. Not until October. I'd kick him out BEFORE October so you can have them in September and whenever you want...

He actually apologised and I have my candle burning …I will refrain from getting my pumpkins out till next month tho don’t worry ha ha

Once again the comments in here are insane. Get the candle out the cupboard and tell your partner to get a grip. It’s a candle.

Does he realise that no matter how many autumn related things you display in your house it has no bearing on the actual length of the seasons?

What about all the other stuff you have to put up with though?