Partner kicking off over “autumn decor”

[inkyspells]

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy decorating for autumn..nothing crazy just a few small candles /floral decorations and a nice candle.
Anyway partner told me I can’t put anything out till October.
i was in spare bedroom and seen a little candle “vanilla pumpkin” I thought oh il just put it on unit and maybe light it when it’s dark.

Partner just really kicked off
Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Anyway I’ve just put it back in the cupboard

Was I wrong to go against him and put the candle out ?
Even tho he said October

@inkyspells doesn't matter if it’s considered too early, he’s a controlling arsehole

It’s just seasonal decor and I bet he’s controlling in other ways

I had one like this, flushed him away and sent him back to the sea of shit

I won’t say leave him as I know that’s easier said than done but don’t be bullied by his controlling ways xx

After your partner said and did that, my advice is to decorate the whole bloody house inside and out. What a dick.

Me too

I would understand if you had gone the whole hog and got your millions of ceramic pumpkins, orange throws and skeleton ornaments out in August but for crying out loud it’s a VANILLA PUMPKIN candle it’s probably white and hardly a big deal at all. His reaction is completely over the top. The fact he even noticed it is ridiculous. Him dictating when you can put out autumn decor, kicking off about it, he sounds nasty and controlling.

I'm not sure why you're even still with this awful man.
I remember most of your other threads.

Is he still drinking to excess?

He's a controlling bully. Please look after yourself.

It sounds as though you are purposely trying to wind your DP up.

I have not read your previous threads but if my DP hated xmas things up before December and I put something up in October - I know that it would be an intentional act to wind him up.

I do wonder why you're doing this, there must be a reason behind it.

He's rude and controlling. If I wanted to light a Christmas candle in July, my husband wouldn't give a toss... he's happy if I'm happy. I think yours is being unreasonable. It's your house too!

A man kicking off because of a candle?

The candle is the least of your concerns. He doesn't like you @inkyspells

Candels are very dangerous, they can cause house fires. So, personally, I think yoi are being unreasonable.

Plus it is August so not autumn.

But the 'kicking off' sounds weird and wrong.

The shopping woman?

OP divorce him.

It's not normal for someone to tell you that you can or cannot go into shops, or put candles out.

“I said October” seriously? He can fuck right off. That actually gives me chills, it’s so controlling… please keep yourself safe x

Idk about your history as some other posters seem too know but IMO, it's like seeing easter eggs right after christmas. It's seeing halloween out in the supermarket when we are still enjoying the sunshine. It's literally never 'bbqs on offer' 'stock up on charcoal' 'pools/sand/picnic baskets' 3 months early is it.

Summer goes sooo fucking fast and I hate people trying to wish it away.

Candles are only dangerous when left unattended

Yep, having the wrong decor at the wrong time of the year is THE thing to take out from the OP.
Not the screaming, not the controlling behaviour, not the fact he is acting like he was a sergeant in the army.
Nope just the decor. Most important thing ever 🙄🙄. More so than abuse

It’s too early imo but you do whatever you want if that makes you happy then go do it
What is standing out though is the big red flag you’re living with..he sounds like a controlling bastard how dare he speak to you like that..don’t be treated like that op

I hate all this seasonal decor. It used to just be Christmas now it's autumnal cushions, pumpkin candles, autumn bedding and tableware. Where do people have the room to store all this stuff once autumn is over.

It is really upsetting to hear that women are still being controlled and manipulated today.

Hopefully, with more understanding, courage, and support, this kind of treatment will end.

Is it abusive to say it's too early and looks stupid?

I wouldn't want my house decorated for christmas in October because, well, it would look stupid and it's too early..

I regularly use my winter candles in summer, and vice versa. I lit one the other day called Snow Globe or something. Nobody could care any less. It has a powdery scent. No one cares. Lighting it isn't going to suddenly make it snow. Ditto your autumn candle, if you can even call it that.

If you had pumpkins strung up, skeletons dangling, and wanted the house to be dark, I'd understand his annoyance. As it is, I can't.

I can’t believe some of the comments here, it’s a candle for crying out loud, I had my winter apple and cinnamon one on the other day 😱

I keep my Christmas lights up

If was April and you did this.. meh I think there's mitigation for a) and b)