Partner kicking off over “autumn decor”

[inkyspells]

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy decorating for autumn..nothing crazy just a few small candles /floral decorations and a nice candle.
Anyway partner told me I can’t put anything out till October.
i was in spare bedroom and seen a little candle “vanilla pumpkin” I thought oh il just put it on unit and maybe light it when it’s dark.

Partner just really kicked off
Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Anyway I’ve just put it back in the cupboard

Was I wrong to go against him and put the candle out ?
Even tho he said October

Thats why marriage and living with someone is a pain in the arse.
Stay single or live in different homes.
Do what you want then.

You need to live by yourself

To a point I agree with this, but I also think if it's just a candle in a glass & the only Autumnal thing about it is the name of the fragrance then it's a good compromise.

You say 'Look, I like this stuff and don't appreciate being yelled at. If we are going to live with each other I need to be treated with more respect. '

I do really like autumn as a season but not until we’ve had a good summer. Putting autumn things out in August is ridiculous and I would be very annoyed if someone forced my house into autumn too early.

Late September-early October is a reasonable time.

If it makes you happy then seriously who cares if it’s “early”?

Put him in the cupboard and light all the candles you want. Set him alight while you're at it (soz, listening to "dear Debbie" and I think it's rubbing off on me). Seriously though, wtf is wrong with some of these men? Controlling wankers. Taking issue with one vanilla candle being lit? Ridiculous & unacceptable on his part. Tell him that's not how you want to be treated. Being single you can decorate exactly how you like anytime, BTW.

I didn’t even need to do a search I remembered the OP.
He wouldn’t give her a lift to the bus stop in the snow.
Wouldn’t let her go into a shop to buy a top.
Goes out and gets pissed and won’t take a key.
Is a miserable sod.
Now he’s the candle police.
I have my head in my hands. And the thing is for everyone saying too early for the candle, so bloody what?
The shops are full of this stuff if you don’t like it don’t buy it.
But some people like to it’s not like they are ram-raiding shops or committing acts of grand larceny. It is spending a few quid on a candle that feels comforting.

You’d believe it if you had read all her other threads. He’s a nasty bastard who rules her with a rod of iron.

This is absolutely nothing to do with a candle it’s about his arsehole controlling ways . Light your candle no matter whether it smells of spring summer autumn or bloody winter . Sorry 😔 he’s like this

Tell him to shut the fk up or you'll put the Christmas tree up.

I have to agree with some of the others - you've only been married since June - he made you have an awful honeymoon, he kicks off about shopping and now because you dared to put out a pumpkin candle he's kicking off again - I'm sorry but I don't think you should be worried about Autumn but more about your relationship ☹️

Of course he’s in the wrong to kick off but why do people have to prematurely ejaculate when it comes to seasonal shit? It’s still August ffs!

I love celebrating the seasons (spiritually - not with B&M tat) so it makes me a bit ill tempered, especially when you see dickheads who put the Christmas decs before we’ve even had remembrance or Halloween stuff when the kids have only just gone back to school.

Just stop wishing the year away and having things out of kilter. It makes me think of a childlike mentality that just has to sneak a peak at presents and can’t delay the gratification - but it just spoils it.

Surely you must know your 'D'H is an abusive piece of shit by now OP. You are told this on every thread you make about him.

Get rid of him.

I don't blame him. Mid August is far too early. Wait another month at least, surely?!

No need for him to be 'nasty' though.

But 22 August is a bit early for Autumn decorations.

Is a bit weird how people start decorating for a new season the season before, but he sounds quite controlling.

.... I have just discovered (thanks to a few posters) that the OP's partner in an abusive POS - so @inkyspells why are you still with him? He sounds horrible!

.

I wouldn’t call late August peak summer.

So he's an abusive shitbag who gambles?

You don't even like each other. Why are you together?

He wants to watch television in bed every night and never do anything with you.
You eat dinner in bed.
He goes out without his keys and gets plastered with his friends.
He won't make dinner or even bring you a lemsip when you feel awful.
You booked a night away and he told you to take a friend instead of him.
He refuses to let you enter a shop to pick up a shirt you want.
He gets plastered by 10am on holiday.
He spends all his holiday time talking to other people at the pool to avoid spending time with you.
You dread going on holiday in case your cats are unwell and you phone your father 4 times from the airport rather than make plans with him.
He seems to think he In Charge Of Candles

(I do agree doing anything for autumn in August is awful, though. But even a stopped clock is right twice a day)

What positives does this relationship bring to your life?

I don't, my house is permanently autumn/Halloween themed. I give zero fucks.

Autumn starts about the middle of September, in my opinion, then winter is December, January and February.

I burn pumpkin scented candles all year around, alongside gingerbread because they’re the only scents I like.

It doesn’t matter though, your partner sounds like a knob.

Is he a DP or a DH, still possible to leave him.

He’s not wrong that it’s way too early- doing stuff like this too early ruins it for me personally- I only decorate for Halloween (week before max) and Christmas (no earlier than 1st December). The anticipation is somewhat ruined and it ruins enjoying the here and now if you jump onto the next thing too early.

He’s overreacting to get angry about it though. A conversation is better.