Would you object to this comment in a headteacher’s staff address? WWYD?

[Meckrel]

End of term address to staff by the HT of a large and successful secondary school.

There were some tech problems at the start and he opened his remarks by saying "two things I hate, microphones and women who say no".

Now, who knows what he was actually thinking. I don't think (hope) he meant sexually, but even in the context of "difficult" women that's not OK for a teacher and employer to say? Is it?

It was an address to staff thanking them for the year etc etc. Most people laughed. Would you?

How do you know whether those laughing or not were being genuine? I would presume an adult teacher laughing is… laughing because they find it funny.

and if they weren’t being genuine and felt they had to laugh at this appalling comment… that in itself is concerning

Ew no that’s totally inappropriate!

Gross

Absolutely not appropriate- what message is that sending to people?? It’s 2026 this type of bollocks needs reigning in

That's actually outrageous. But this is mumsnet so you'll get the pick me's telling you it's just a joke.

Those things aren't remotely similar are they? You said you wanted to use his gym equipment and the head teacher said he hates women who say no.

His comment wasn't misinterpreted by the poster like yours was by the trainer. He actually meant what he said.

Ita not OK to hate a woman for rejecting you for a date is it?? That's incel behaviour.

I wouldn’t complain or be upset about this at all!

Completely inappropriate

Totally inappropriate. If a teacher said that to a class what would SMT do ?
Abhorrent

Bloody odd.

I’m a teacher, dh is a teacher and we are both shocked. Definitely needs a complaint. He’s not fit for the job

Completely unacceptable, and to be reported! It's not a joke - it's encouraging sexual assault.

You are likely very vulnerable to horrible men then @StarDolphins

Pass on to your trade union to deal with. Totally unacceptable.

I hate it too when MNers treat all men as one big homogenous blob and express their hate for them all because of what some of them do... but that is absolutely not the case here. Here, it is actually one of those men who has said something that strongly indicates misogyny on his part - and so HE is being taken to task for it.

Even if he did only mean it 'innocently', it was only 'funny' in the context of people understanding it as though he DID mean it in the obvious way it would be taken. Jimmy Carr does this as his stock-in-trade: using deniability and faux-innocence for when he pushes things too far, but we all know his full intention.

I just don’t see “automatic man hate” on Mumsnet. What I see is “automatic give men the benefit of the doubt” “automatic appease men” “automatic poor men they’re trying their best”……

Oh no way will you de activate. You’ll just name change @Passingthrough123 !

In your later posts you go on and on about how you don’t think that he meant anything sexual by it.

So why tell us how hard the school has worked on sexualised language? @Meckrel

I think I've hit bingo with the "hysterical". Thanks passingthrough.

In my first post I said I didn't think it was sexual. It was only after everyone else assumed it was I reinforced this, and mentioned the work the school has done.

Absolutely unacceptable. And it doesn’t matter how he might have meant it/what missing context there might be, for all those on this thread tying themselves in knots to justify/explain it away; he is always representing the school and he needs to behave in line with that.
I’d write to the governors, personally.

Yes, I would object @Meckrel
You're definitely not wrong to be angry or shocked. I think it's an incredibly sexist comment.
It's not just a thoughtless joke. This isn't a gauche comment by a young person in their first job. This is a HT. All the school leaders I've worked with have held themselves (and been held to) extraordinarily high standards - much more so than any other sector I've worked with/in. I'm constantly amazed by their professionalism and leadership skills. A lot of thought tends to go into speeches like that. I don't think there's any excuse for a bit of improvised sexist banter!
I'm not sure what I would do. I think I would start by chatting informally to trusted colleagues to see if they felt the same way. It might be easier to raise if several of you were thinking WFF.
Do you have a union rep? If so, I would probably talk to them about it too. They might be able to raise it on behalf of several members of staff.
Is the school part of a MAT?

this still isn't OK.

HTs get rid of teachers because they ask questions, often because HTs can't answer the questions and then force the teachers out.

Ps. I find it outrageous and unacceptable regardless of whether there was a rapey subtext. Obviously that would make it even worse but I still think it's outrageous if the implication was that he doesn't like his wife or women staff members to disagree with him.
What a prize dickhead.