Would you object to this comment in a headteacher’s staff address? WWYD?

[Meckrel]

End of term address to staff by the HT of a large and successful secondary school.

There were some tech problems at the start and he opened his remarks by saying "two things I hate, microphones and women who say no".

Now, who knows what he was actually thinking. I don't think (hope) he meant sexually, but even in the context of "difficult" women that's not OK for a teacher and employer to say? Is it?

It was an address to staff thanking them for the year etc etc. Most people laughed. Would you?

True true

That’s an implied inuendo. Not a joke about rape.

No. In my 44 years, I have never joked about rape. Never.

Wow. I would follow your whistleblowing policy on this @Meckrel

It probably instructs to go to the governors with any complaint about the headteacher. There were many witnesses so they should be able to investigate fully.

I didn't say that did I??

That’s an awful comment to make.

No matter what he meant, it's not an appropriate thing to say. Ever. What a ridiculous comment. 'Otherwise a good guy'. Yeah right. You can't be a misogynist and a good guy, I'm afraid.

I'd be reporting to the Governors immediately. I am a teacher and if my Head said anything like this, I'd do the same. If you don't report it, you condone it.

This kind of casual misogyny spouted by male leaders in schools is rife and too many people do nothing about it. There's no wonder we have so much sexual violence and harassment in schools when boys hear their male teachers making comments like this all the time without any censure.

If it were a derogatory comment about a particular race, it would not have drawn any laughter at all from the room, I'm sure. It's shocking to me just how acceptable casual sexism seems to be - even amongst women. Any type of discrimination is wrong. We need to challenge it every time.

Totally unacceptable. Email him and ask him to clarify what he meant. If he is vague and says it was a joke, ask him to explain how it is funny.

Some weird perspectives in here.
I can only think that some people can't imagine what a professional setting a school staffroom usually is. The H/T shouldn't have been talking about women in either a romantic or sexual context in that meeting. Goodness knows what he actually intended. Is the IT technician a woman? As the computer apparently wouldn't co-operate. IIWY, OP, I would have a word with your union, they may have other instances of questionable behaviour on file and while each one might not be enough to act on, a picture builds up, which can be acted upon.

You said you would laugh at this comment.

This comment being a man implying that he “doesn’t like it” when a women rejects his sexual advances

In various capacities I've actually been ivolved in a few cases where staff have brought a complaint against the school/head. I've never seen it end well for the staff member, even where their complaint is upheld, they still end up leaving within a few months.

I'm also usually of the it's OK to have a laugh at work thinking, and would laugh off some things that I wouldn't say myself, but this seemed a bit much to me.

Op does he have form for this?

surely you have discussed this with fellow colleagues?

Same.

He's bit of a joker, likes to be one of the lads, but I've not heard this kind of thing before.

The school really has worked hard on sexualised language and misogyny in students!

If you wouldn't accept it from a student, then you shouldn't accept it from a colleague, no matter who they are.

You can't be teaching the students not to lose language that you then use yourself. It totally undermines any work being done within the school to stamp out sexism.

I get the fear of repercussions, but you are protected if you whistleblow, and do you really want to be working for a man like this anyway? I'd be straight out the door if I were working for a misogynist. No woman can thrive as a professional in a school environment where the HT thinks it's appropriate to make sexual jokes about women in a whole staff meeting and expects to get away with it.

How long has he been in the position? How is he regarded by his staff?

I gather you don’t get on with him?

Have any other staff members expressed surprise?

I get it op. You could raise it anonymously and as a general FYI rather than an individual complaint. He cant deny saying it and even if it just results in someone letting him know a concern has been raised it should be enough to make him think twice before acting like a Chubby Brown wannabe in future.

You'd be doing him a favour. Next time someone could really take offence and cause problems for him.

Whereas I have been involved in supporting staff who as a collective have complained about H/Ts in more than one school. In every case the H/T left the school. This is why OP should involve the union rather than the Govs.

Why would you say that? I think he's fine. I don't think what the said on this occasion was OK.

He's been in post about 4 years, and the school has done well under his leadership. This was a final meeting before the school joins one of the big MATs but he's staying in post as head of school.

They are uncertain times for all the staff

Did you ask him what he meant?

I'm not sure what you're picturing but there are 200 staff at the school. I don't actually speak to HT much at all.

Sounds a bit off to me op. Normally head teachers are far more professional than this. I’d be shocked if any man said it though, but especially in a setting like that.

This. Absolutely appalling remark.

What the fuck?? Yes I would complain - but I am of an age where I no longer centre men and their sexist and offensive 'jokes'.