Would you object to this comment in a headteacher’s staff address? WWYD?

[Meckrel]

End of term address to staff by the HT of a large and successful secondary school.

There were some tech problems at the start and he opened his remarks by saying "two things I hate, microphones and women who say no".

Now, who knows what he was actually thinking. I don't think (hope) he meant sexually, but even in the context of "difficult" women that's not OK for a teacher and employer to say? Is it?

It was an address to staff thanking them for the year etc etc. Most people laughed. Would you?

OP’s context doesn’t really make it any better though, does it?

I never said it was sexual. In fact I specifically said in my OP that I didn't think it was intended that way.

I would have left the room. Awful.

I'd report it via CPOMS and also direct to HR, copying in the head of HR. This wouldn't stand in the trust I work in.

Stupid is different to disgusting.

Not OK - I’d be tackling the guy in person, in front of his boss, to ask him to explain what he meant by that remark.

Double entendres can happen. A woman saying no isnt a double entendre, is it. Unless there's some really explicit context for this, this is a complete no go statement. My jaw dropped . I would be saying something.

OMG VOMIT.

No, that's not acceptable, it is not the 1970s.

He needs to go on some training. And apologise.

I feel as if this is probably missing a lot of context especially if you said there was technical issues before hand. Was that related?

I don't know. It's possible, but neither I nor must of the audience would have been aware of it. Either way how would context have made that OK?

You think it's funny? Or that people who would complain are just fun sponges who can't take a joke?. Is 'old school' implying he's older and so hence it's somehow normal/OK for a old bloke to say it? Or that you have a sense of humour (just bantz) and no one else does.

Because if ageism is your intention, how about knocking that on the head. I'm probably old enough to be your 'old school' (60) and I don't have any male friends who'd say anything like that. Or indeed think it. And no, it's isn't fun spongey or 'cue outrage' to think it's misogynistic and inappropriate and consider complaining.

It's also frankly stupid as he could face serious problems if OP or anyone else complains. Which I hope they do. I bloody would.

Whoa!!!! That’s next level wrong.
No way would I put up and shut up with that!

HT: 'Poor me. I'm surrounded by stroppy women who don't do what I want.' I wouldn't have taken it as sexual either. What I would have done though is go and see him afterwards and put him on the spot by asking what he meant.

Absolutely unacceptable and needs to be called on it. He probably didn’t mean it but in this day and age he needs to know it’s horrendously offensive and not at all appropriate. I’m astounded that a head teacher could be this naive.

There is no context that makes his comment ok.

totally unacceptable and worrying that this man has influence over youngsters- is this the kind of 'joke' he makes to them too?

I think maybe the whistleblower route is the one to go down, as OP has said she has seen others suffer when they have made complaints

OP I presume you trust the humourless middle aged women you were sitting with? Maybe ask if they will write a note of what happened before memory fades and rumour replaces it.

This 👆 I’d complain. First to him, followed by the local Education Authority.

Maybe they are the ones who understand the difference between a joke and an outrageous insulting comment!

Yes

You say this school is excellent? With a head that either is open about his dislike for women that reject him sexually OR is breathtakingly inappropriate

and

the majority of staff find this funny

and the group who have been labelled “can’t take a joke” and this don’t want to cause trouble

an excellent school? Really?

Is he married do you know?

Ok, I should say it's Ofsted outstanding, has a good reputation locally and achieves excellent results. Those of us in education know that doesn't always mean the school is well run, although TBF he does run a tight ship. In line with lots of good schools (and other businesses) staff are managed out quickly if they don't deliver what's required, hence not wanting to make a fuss.

Yes. I wondered if it was a remark about his wife wearing the trousers, but not sure why anyone at school would get that.

I wish you could say the name because with a head like this and the majority of staff finding it funny… I’d want to keep my children well away. Especially my girls

Laughing and finding it funny are not necessarily the same thing.