Does anyone else have no friends?

[Cathyhon]

Like the title says, I literally have zero friends.
I’m a 27-year-old woman, and I haven’t really had a friendship group since secondary school. Over the years, my school friends gradually drifted apart, and I never made any long-lasting friendships in college. I work in a small office now, and most of my colleagues already have their own established friendship groups, so it’s been difficult to meet people.

I try to tell myself it doesn’t bother me, but the truth is, it really does. When the weather is as nice as it is now, it somehow feels even worse. Seeing groups of friends out together, or people on social media spending time with their friends, really gets to me. I just wish I had even one friend to do things with.
The area I live in doesn’t offer many opportunities to meet new people either, which makes it feel even more difficult.

Has anyone else found close friends later in life? Is there still hope at 27? I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been in a similar position. Thank you.

Agreed

I am someone who has struggled to make and maintain friendships my whole life (now early 30s). The change came when I shifted my attitude to friendships and put myself out there. I thought friendships should just happen and should be easy. Truth is, I've had to set up situations where I can make friends by going out with colleagues/acquaintances I don't know that well, joining groups, and chatting to people in situations I wouldn't usually start conversation in to make friends. I do have one friend from high school but the rest have been made through chatting to colleagues I previously hadn't spoken to, going to baby and toddler groups (and now school pick-up) and chatting to people there, and linking back in with old school and work friends.

You saying it’s me then? 😂

I’ve got that mind set now

Well it appears you don’t want to be around anyone

No not at the moment. In time.

35 and you don’t want to be around anyone? Do you live alone?

Yes been living alone for 6 years.

Well except for my children sorry.

WFH? Or at least have interaction with colleagues (albeit not friends with any of them)

Nope, my ex husband cheated on me after 6 months of marriage, was together over 8 years had kids together and left me for that woman, since then I've had ‘friends’ but they turn out not to be who I think they are, I work as bank for the nhs so pick and choose the shifts I can do that world round my children, I don’t get too close to colleagues just because I’ve had a bad experience with that too, so I’m simply at work to do my job and go home.

I don't have any friends and I'm content with that. My life is busy with my family, study and hobbies and any social event would be an opportunity cost in time away from those, and I'd rather not spend my time on that. I have enough acquaintances to keep things ticking along but I don't get close enough to them to ever share personal details, and I wouldn't really want to ever be in a situation where I felt I should give up my time and effort for anyone to help them out. My spare time is for me and my family.

This is literally how I feel. My life is the same busy with my kids, running the house, working and studying too, and I’m ok with that if honest.

I have three old friends that live 200 miles from where I now live after retirement, to be near my daughter & granddaughters they are now teenagers so don’t see that much of them now , since moving across the country I have not made a single friend apart from talking to maybe four neighbours when I see them on foot, most people seem to go everywhere by car. I get the occasional few words when waiting for a bus from the local area or a chat on the short bus ride into town if the bus is busy & someone chatty sits by me.
People in the area don’t seem friendly to newcomers.

My friendship circle are all people I’ve met in the last 13years (now early 40’s)
A mix of work colleagues from the last couple of places I’ve worked, where we just ‘clicked’ and have stayed in touch meeting up every month or so and friends I’ve met since having my children.
I don’t have anyone that I went to secondary school/college with, which I think makes me a little odd.
Most people I know have good friends dating back to mid/late teens.
I would look at volunteering/ hobbie groups to try and widen your circles a little.

I have my two best friends from the village I grew up in but only catch up two or three times a year each separately as we now moved away for family and work but text most evenings. Other than I have my netball girls who again we text a lot on the group chat with lots of giggles but we hardly ever meet outside the leisure centre other than Christmas drinks.

Having moved 200 miles to a new area, what have you joined to get to know people, and therefore take the first step towards making friends ?

If I moved across the country, I wouldn't expect people who already lived there to be queuing up to invite me to be my friend, then criticising them for 'not being very friendly' when they didn't. I'd be joining things and getting involved in things so I could start getting to know people and start the journey to becoming integrated in the new place.

It’s not too late. I assume you don’t have kids yet as you didn’t mention. But when you do, you will likely make loads of friends through NCT, activity groups, school mums etc. I have never sought out new friendships as I still have loads of school friends, uni friends, etc But the friends I’ve made as a mum have created an unexpected, and long term close friendship group for both me and my husband.

I was extremely lonely in my mid 20s.I had friends but none were local and I spent weekends alone and lonely. However, through persevering and putting myself out there I finally made friends. Sometimes you have to be the one who suggests doing things initially and you will be knocked back, but just keep trying until you find people you click with. Also, don't shut people out because of age - I have friends from 22 to 76. If you click with someone and enjoy each other's company that's all that matters.

Of course there's "still" hope at 27! Someone I know developed a whole new set of friends in her 60s!
The catch for you is that you're going to make some effort if there are few people nearby. (You know, some people actually move if they feel that their area is too isolated and limited.)
You can quietly plot to infiltrate with one or two of your colleagues that you like. And, obviously, you should search out groups that align with your interests. A class? A book club? A political group? Do you use MeetUp in your area?

I’m almost 60 and no real friends around me. I’ve met people while holidaying solo that I keep in touch with via message etc but they’re quite a distance away from me.
I’m going through a divorce at the moment too (over 30 yrs of marriage), so no husband, whom was also my best friend for the better part of the marriage too.

i do have adult children, they have their own lives/families though and although i spend time with them and gc, it’s not the same as having a friend/friends to have a good laugh, moan, or put the world to rights sometimes

I'm too busy to expand my social circle right now so am happy with a light/ limited friendship situation but when I had more time I'd join social groups for women, can find them on Facebook and probably other places, go a few times so your face gets known and that can be a good way to find friendship and a social life.

You can make friends all through your life! 27 definitely isn't too old to make friends.

My closest friends now (I'm 42) are someone I met at 32 - we worked together, 33 - kids in the same preschool, 40 - our children met at an activity.

I'm only still close to one person I met in my early 20s and she lives in another country now.

I've moved over 20 times in my life and each time leave friends behind. Keep in touch with some but don't live anywhere near them anymore and going to be moving again once the house is ready. Friends with neighbours around, always stop and chat (sometimes it takes ages to get to the shop and back!) but no real close friends. Tbh, I prefer that now, I find people once you get to know them quite a disappointment and I probably disappoint them. So I like the surface friendliness, suits me just fine and there's only a few people I will miss when I move and will always think fondly of.

Op, only way to get to know people and hope to make friends is get out there. Night classes, groups, walking clubs anything really, see if some folk click and make some new mates.

I do have a few friends, but having friends doesn’t automatically mean you feel supported or valued.

Lately I’ve realised I often see people as closer friends than they seem to see me. Most of the time, I feel like an afterthought rather than someone they genuinely want to spend time with.

I've been friends with one person since we were at school, and we’re now in our mid 40s. Yet I’ve never really felt like I’m the friend she would choose first. I can try to arrange something months in advance, but somehow she’s always got plans. It becomes exhausting constantly trying to find a date that works, and eventually I just lose interest in asking.

My feeling lately is that adult friendships can be really disappointing. I do have a few friends, but I’ve never felt as lonely as I do now (friend wise )