A Mumsnet Story

[HowDairy]

(Please humour me, I'm ill and thoroughly fed up of being ill!)

It was a dark and stormy night.
The wind was howling and it sounded menacing.
In the distance I could see...

Which has been regifted at least 3 times now so hopefully will be drunk by some unsuspecting guest.
Mind you, 43 guests will be a terrible shock to my system, since I've been a MNetter I have adopted the cast iron rule of 'Thou Shall Not Open Thy Front Door Under Any Circumstances' so maybe I'll have to redirect them to the back entrance (snigger 🤭) but that only has access via...

Our self contained annexe where the MIL lives and …

yet she still doesn’t offer any childcare, says she raised her own kids etc, now it’s ‘her’ time. Unlike many of my friends who…

have relatives who bend over backwards to help them, despite the fact that said friends are constantly trying to go NC with them and accuse them of being narcissists. My opinion is that…

they should bin off the lot of them and go on an extended spa break where…

They can complain in peace while their DHs do their outing hobbies, mainly involving…

Lycra and...

A knock off Dry Robe. Which begs the question…

…is he having an affair with the NDN? She is a CF who wouldn’t hesitate to…

Park across my drive too. I’ve shoved the kids trampoline right up against her fence though. I was only telling my MIL, on a rare break from NC, that…

I bounce on it late at night where I can see right into their hot tub and …

I think they are trying to create a Christmas market in their garden because I can see a….

Get yourself to the bus interchange Brian is in Hull.

Gingerbread house and several fingers of fudge. I decided to post on MN to determine whether I should open the front door to check, as it was after 6pm.

(Name change for this) they have the audacity to leave it running all night

And I dont know how they can afford it, they told me he only earns 250k a year, poor souls

The day dawned bright and sunny.
The storm had moved on and everywhere felt refreshed from the torrential rain.
A strange noise made my ears perk up, it sounded like...

Little Balonz playing outside, kicking his ball into my garden.

So I logged it with 111

who immediately sent out an ambulance. The paramedics arrived and...

Dammit! I had called 101 instead 🤦‍♀️

I apologised profusely for wasting their time.
They were ever so nice though and offered to...

have a word with Balonz and his parents, because I'm frankly terrified of them because I once saw them....

rifling through Balonz’s friend’s book bag to check what reading level he was on, and that’s not the only thing…

They found Bolonz lunch box and found PRE PACKAGED snacks Humphrey and Clemmie will never be welcomed at supper again.
Rumour has it Bolonz ate sweets on the way to school the other day.

Luckily for dinner I had made him a delicious meal from the 4th lot of leftovers from the large chicken I roasted at the weekend..