A Mumsnet Story

[HowDairy]

(Please humour me, I'm ill and thoroughly fed up of being ill!)

It was a dark and stormy night.
The wind was howling and it sounded menacing.
In the distance I could see...

Hot bowl of stew

Ooh that stew was hot !!
Shall I go to a+e or make a complaint first ??

It was DH who deliberately gave me that hot stew! I was going to LTB, but then....

I remembered that would mean I would actually have to parent the kids half the time.
Sod that! I thought, I'm just going to get myself an outing hobby doing...

the dinosaur in Asda, and whilst I’m there I can pick up some picky bits for tea, I mean dinner, no I mean supper. But I must rush because I’ve left the washing out and it might get…

Get darked on.
But not to worry I've taken in some ironing so I need to rush home anyway.

It's my side hustle and I use the extra money for

…playing Fortnite…

I got so carried away playing that I forgot to...

check in with the post i started on MN - and now there is 800 posts and there was something about if my hands are hairy ???

My cashmere jumper 😂

Backs of your hands or Palms, phone 101 and

Log it just in case …..

The stew is needed for evidence. Meanwhile.....

Somebody is at the door so I am going to hide behind the sofa.

But I really need to spray the darked on washing I got in with Zoflora, in case the spiders rubbed their willies on it…but I like being behind the sofa, I got it from…

Liberty's and put the old one on FB market place, some of the people honestly..

I mean who is 'Hun'?? I clearly indicated what my rather unique name was on my FB page. I nearly spilt champagne down my cashmere jumper when somebody...

Snapped my hand off for it. Furthermore….

Watch strictly and guess which affair will be next...

And start itching. Is it the menopause?

Hang on, might be my rampant threadworms ??

Or was it from my husband? He has been texting the girl at the gym a lot lately so….

Of course I consult MN on what I should do.
The general consensus tells me to hide a spare phone I just happen to have, in his car so I can track him.
It turns out he wasn't going to the gym, but going to Jim's...
😳

@Move22

LTB!! The only solution.