Was anyone else at Snape Maltings today? Did Alan get his table?

[WonderfulSmith]

Before I start I know it’s none of my business and I’m a bad person I’m sure but…

I was at Snape Maltings today which is a nice arts centre with a lovely shop selling all sorts of home wares and furniture. It’s very quiet and sedate.
Anyway, a woman started yelling at her husband. The whole place was pretending not to listen while giving each other looks. Turned out that he had ordered a perfectly innocent side table without talking to her about it first. She demanded that he cancel the order and he refused. He sat down on a sofa in the shop and she went and sat in the car. Every so often she’d come back and stick her head around the door, tell him the table was disgusting, and stomp back out.

When we left, Alan was still sat on the sofa. But I want to know how it ended. Are they still there now? Did Alan cancel the order?

Were any of you there?

Oh God, now I'm getting online adverts for side tables...

There are also prints in our bedroom that he brought with him when he moved in. I don't mind them but they're hung weirdly and flap around in the wind.

I knew a man who had some weirdly hung things that flapped around in the wind too. It didn’t last.

No no no. The musical would be "Table!"

Under the Table - Edinburgh festival rip off parody.

High Table - a Noel Coward revival with Penelope Keith

The IKEA Snow Table with Three Legs - a scandi noir mystery with too many characters and not enough useful clues.

I’m 10 minutes from Snape Maltings (although with all the roadworks on the A12 atm prob a bit further!) and can totally imagine the type of people these were! Only ever been there when my children have played instruments in some music festival thing they do for the local schools once a year. Almost want to share this on one of the local fb groups 🤔😂

I wouldn't blame Mrs Alan . There she was planning to coordinate her Regency themed living room with swags and silver candelabra and dumb ole Alan tries to stick in his so called Scandi chic side table. Stay in your lane Alan !

But did you notice the name of the reviewer? Perhaps in the intervening 8 years Alan has grown up, acquired a partner and learned to appreciate the charms of Snape Maltings?

Me too

Ye syed table ! 😆
Is that Alan’s table I see th before me?
Table ! the opera ( to the tune of Nessum Dorma)
‘ nesta table , none shall buy’

Does Alan not realise that side tables should be purchased in pairs?

rich material for self help books? Feel The Fear And Buy The Side Table Anyway. Let Them (Buy a Side Table). The Life Changing Magic of a Side Table. etc.

must be an Edinburgh Festival show out of this - the props would be v easy to source.

Just buy it... without telling your husband of course!

This thread is gold. I hope the commenter who has gone to SM for breakfast this morning throws caution to the wind and asks if they have a security video for their mumsnet fans who need to know if Alan got his table 😂

I think it was the shouting that was most shocking. One does not shout in Snape Maltings.

Exactly what I thought of!!

I’ve just googled Snape Maltings and am now giggling at someone who likened it ( not seriously!) to Trago Mills , I went once to the Devon one , it was a good few years ago but it was the polar opposite!

I’ve looked it up too and I must admit that some of the furniture is really lovely especially ‘ the George range’
I bet that people with big houses like to ‘theme ‘ their rooms from there. It doesn’t look like the kind of place to have a domestic in.

As a child I performed on the stage and then have taken the children I teach to perform there. It is such an incredible experience! The children love it so much!

I was at Snape Maltings for a concert last night and there was no sign of Alan as far as I could see.

There's also a lot of material for other mumsnet threads.

Relationships- my DH bought a hideous table. Should I LTB?
Home decoration- Should I use a hideous table to show off my stunt pineapple?
Cost of Living- we cannot afford food this week but DH has bought a hideous table. Should I sell it to feed the family?

I'm enjoying reading this sitting in the art gallery that I run. As a PP said, things do often look better in sets / adjacent to similar things.. Such is the art of retail

I'm old enough to remember the Hugh Grant / Four Weddings line "lots of beautiful things around the thousand pound mark"

And have been known to drive to Gloucester services for coffee or Burford Garden Centre

Which reminds me too topcat it’s not like Alan bought a Pygmy warrior

DH and I love Snape Maltings, we stayed near there on our honeymoon, definitely not the kind of place you would expect shouting!

@LlynTegid would like to second Neil Innes for the music, I was lucky enough to see his live show twice and loved the Innes Book of Records in my school days. I met him after the show when he was signing CD’s and got a photo with him, he was so lovely.

Dogs putting forward their portfolio pics for perusal