Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

AIBU to covet my neighbour's ass?

I think my wife is having an affair. How should I execute her?

Read? Women?

I've been yearning to try this new stuff I've heard about - coffee.
We can't afford it on DH's serf wages so he's ground up some duck dung because he says it's the same thing.
I'll be honest, I'm not enjoying it. But I've invited other village women over for a cuppa - should I serve it yourself impress them?

There's a lot of illness around and DH keeps coughing, has also developed some very odd swellings. He refuses to see the plague doctor. AIBU to nail the door up, paint a black cross on it and LTB?

My wife talks too much, Brother Jerome recommends this new contraption looking for user reviews.

AIBU? DH has called me a witch twice this week. He wasn't complaining when I used herbs to heal his boil (see my previous thread), but as soon as I use them to disguise the taste of cow tongue in his stew he's going about moaning.

So as to not dripfeed; it was his favourite cow, but he didn't even notice because he was busy with his hobby. Too outing to say but think gallows watching.

Aibu to want a say in who runs this country?

That sounds like treason,@Skunkaniseed, off to the block with you.

Do you think this is smallpox? Insert picture.

What's for dinner?

DH has just dragged in a wild boar.
What shall I serve it with?

My MIL is now widowed and lives at the edge of the village with her cat. She wears black and says that she mourns her dead husband who drowned in the pig trough at the back of their hovel.

I think she may be a witch. AIBU to tell the Witchfinder?

I can hear scratching behind the wall. It might be rats, but it might be a left over priest. Problem is, I can't remember where the door to the priest hole is. Can you advise?

AIBU?

To not tell DH that he isn't the baby daddy?
To be honest, I'm quite tempted to tell him as he is expecting me to travel 90 miles to his home town for some stupid census or something for the birth.
On a wee donkey.

AIBU to object to this newfangled "railway time"? Why can't people just look at the market cross if they absolutely need to know the exact time.
What's wrong with just looking at the shadows, noon, sunset etc and an easygoing approach to timekeeping?

Tudor style and beauty.
How do I get my makeup to look like good Queen Bess' ?
Is this Farthingsle too much for a night at Ye Olde Inne singing Greensleeves and Hey nony no?
How do I tell my husband that his codpiece is too small?

Can anybody look at this frog I just peed on and tell me if I'm pregnant?
I think I see a line but it could just be the frog drying out a bit.

Ug bring mammoth leg to cave. Ug know I eat berries and nuts. Ug want children to eat mammoth leg. Mammoth with one, two, er, three leg wobbly and fall in tar pit. Eating mammoth leg cruel. Ug want children eat mammoth leg. I want children eat berries and nuts. Ug give me ick.

AIBU?

I think if the frog turns pink it means you're expecting a girl - congratulations!!

On that topic, I've been reading this fella's stage productions to get some inspiration for names.

What's your honest opinions on
Titania?
Will she be called Titty for the rest of her life?
DH likes Ophelia but all I can hear is "I feel ya"...
Our surname is Butte if that helps.

This year's rye crop was blighted with ergot. WIBU to hunt deer in the King's Forest? I haven't been caught before, so it would only be having my nose and ears cropped, but the wife and 9 surviving bairns can't eat just turnips till next harvest!

I’m sure my neighbour Goody Jane is trying to hex me. She left her washing out on the hawthorn bushes to bs darked on. Should I call the witch finder?

Would you eat this pheasant?

DH put it in the cellar 3 months ago to hang; there is quite a bit left especially if you include the maggots but I'm not sure it's safe to eat, whatever his mother says.

"My husband refuses to help with the scurryfunge when MIL is coming to visit, honestly he's such a Fopdoodle"

"The children ate the cake I baked and they're now feeling crapulent".

MiL has invited us round for some of her figgy pudding. Her baking is ghastly. Can I say I've got a bloodletting session to attend and will not be able to come or would that sound suspicious?

My DH says he's going on Crusade with King Richard and may be away for a couple of years, possibly more. AIBU to suspect this is yet another lad's holiday like the trip to Aquitaine last year? He says he's "entitled to his hobbies", but they all involve fighting.

I'll be so glad when someone invents the bicycle.