Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Be it not passing strange @SinnerBoy ye scarcity of ye cocktayle sticks? I mind some years heretofore when minded to fashion a hedge pigge for my gossip’s name day, sore was the search

Thine camel, which thou offere for sale, hath it one hump, or two?

Speaketh not of humps I beg ye - 'tis another unpleasant part of its character.....

A pox on the bastard

Happye New Yeare to thee Mumsnette folke!

At the stroke of midnight mine husbande, who doth hail from Caledonia will sup on a wee dram of whiskey. Then with his lips wouldst give me a kiss upon mine lips with his own that hath the stench of whisky. The we shall away to our chamber and our slumbers.

Good wassail to ye alle. May your apple trees be laden with fruits, your pigges grow strong, and your well run cleare. Withe no interference from ye Company of Waters, who would charge ye a groat and two chickens for but a cuppe of wette stuffe.

Wassailing, why tis the local custom! For my dwelling is within Somersette and cyder is the favoured brew of the locals.

Greeteth thee, fair maidens, upon this merry New Yeare!
What mirth and glee dost thou keepeth on this day?

I remain clear of head. Mine adult childe didst go unto the city of Bristole last eve to cavort and carouse with his friends. I was forced to get mine cart out and gather him home.

I did visite mine daughter for a cuppe of tea meade today.

I have beene verye sore of headde thys Newe Yeare’s Daye. Last eve I sallied forth wythe mine Lord and Master to our fryends and partook of the beverage theye call Champagne and then hastened to a local eatynge house for foreign dishes called Curry. ‘Twas Verye Goode. We thenne wente backe to our fryends fore more Champagne ande to sing in the Newe Yeare with songs. Verily much mirth was hadde ande we came home in the earlye hours so were verye late to our beds ande late arisynge today.

My Lord and Master has beene afflicted similarly butte sayes he didde notte have as much Champagne. I tolde him itte was the rum ande Baybe Guinness thayte didde itte. He sayes I maye be right.

Ah, tis the Devil's drinke indeede. Hie thee hence to church forthwith, and repent ye. Tis alle that will make thine head better.
And licke ye barke of yonder willow. Twill help.

Faith Mistress @FuzzyPuffling i declare thayte I have notte been able to move farre todaye so church woulde be a bigge fatte Nay Nay. Verily alle I have done is laye arounde eatynge the bar mayde offe cocoa.

My husband's ex says they never actually divorced. I've told him I want a ring on my finger before the baby comes and now he wants to go NC with Rome and burn down all the monasteries. Aibu to find this hot but a bit flaky? I feel like he'll mess with my head.

My neighbour boasteth that she commandeth all her Yuletide goods from the Carters of Ocado, but that she must booke her slotte in a narrow window ere the harvest be gathered in, and if ye snooze, ye loose. I have never tried this, mostly because I know not what a booke or a window may be.

Mine new resolution to essay a more slender and virile profile doth prove most fruitful. Just three fowls and a single haunch of venison for mine supper this eve - and yon scales now scarce touch thirty stones. Verily, the sap doth rise most lustily within mine loins. I shall bind this suppurating leg afresh and hie me to Mistress Howard's bedchamber forthwith. And with what pleasure she will receive me!

throws up in ye mouthe