Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Gracious thanks @Sharrilanda and @GiddyRobin for confirming what I already knew in my heart. It's devastating to see that photo he used for his profile on Plenty of Trout, I was the one who painted it.

We've been together since we were 12, our marriage was arranged from the moment of my birth. I could not avoid it, I'm utterly heartbroken and know I need to LTB 💔 but I don't know how to be a spinster.

Thank you for your support and please accept my un-mumsnetty hugs

Aaah! The very first stealth boast! I bin waitin' for ya to come along, ever since the first art class WotsUp woz set up.

Pffft. Wot even is that?! We can all see yer precious Leo ain't even bovvered to learn to write his name proper like.
THIS is true genius, peel yer mince pies on wot my little Mikey did just for doodling practice innit...
He's still gotta finish off the rest of the ceiling like, but we ain't got round to building the extension yet.
And yeah, that woz DH and FIL, posing for the little tyke. They likes to humour him.
And you should just see wot our Mikey can do wiv a big old lump of playdoh!

AIBU to think DBaby seems to be more bonded to the wetnurse than me? Should I replace her? There are plenty of women in the village who have recently given birth and would jump at the chance.

What name can I give DC20? I've used all the ones I know. Need ideas for girls and boys please.

AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Oops, sorry.
No idea why that happened when I looked at Mikey's painting

How many togas do I need for a long weekend in Aquae Sulis?

III OR IV ?

Soz about that @LaMarschallin .
Funny, you ain't the first to be affected that way.
I wonder if it's coz it's a bit triggering innit.
I mean, me DH all in the nuddy like.
And FIL in his nighty. No one gotta see that!
There's a bit of background to the pose.
I know, I know, I shouldn't drip feed but that ain't DH's mum wiv FIL.
It's his latest bit on the side. She's evidently quite a bit younger than him an all!
Plus all the step sibs.
I told DH he's to go NC wiv the randy old goat but you can see he's taking it hard. Finding it hard to let go.
Lit.

Forsooth, it be verily heart breaking to finde oute this way Mistress @Woahbodyforrrrm .
I hearsay he's calling himselfe Big Bad 'Arry on his profile and the locale trollopes are falling for it.
Get yeself to the olde worlde sexual healthe apothecary and get thee tested.
Are ye finances in order, seal those moste importante parchments in the tombe and definitely LTB.
Goode lucke sister.
Ye olde Mumsnette brethren are behind thee!!

Oops, sorry.
No idea why that happened when I looked at Mikey's painting

Well, it's a bit ott ... perhaps paint over with a tasteful shade from the latest Pig-Litter and Bladder range?

@Sharrilanda

I told DH he's to go NC wiv the randy old goat but you can see he's taking it hard. Finding it hard to let go.

Have you suggested grey rocking?
I hear some druids put a whole load of grey rocks together, only one or two month's walk from us, a while back.
Nobody really knows why, but my bet is it's to channel the grey rock energy for going NC.
And just think, it could be worse. I've heard there's a real randy old goat over in Hellas. Probably some sort of pop star - plays pipes apparently. Looks a greecey sort in the manuscripts I've seen.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I remember your previous threads about your "little Grennie". He's been out terrorising the neighbourhood and collecting ASBOs for years and you didn't put in proper boundaries or help him make friends in a constructive way that didn't involve dismemberment.

My advice would be to leave the new neighbours at the mead hall well alone, the Beowulf chap you mentioned recently doesn't sound like he'll stand for any more of this nonsense and won't take well to your PFB approach.

I can see what you're doing @InMySpareTime oh sozzers, I mean @ErrolTheDragon
I'm gonna report you to MNHQ for name changing and trolling.
Just coz I said yer precious Leo ain't all dat.
Our little Mikey's doodles can make grown wimmin scream, like @LaMarschallin innit.
Facts.

And anyways, FYI, the paint colour of the year is 'Mammoth's Breath'.

I hear the gentry of the land are gathering to decide the taxes.

Does anyone have suggestions on how I can hide my best sow so that I don't have to give 1/10th of it to the shire reve?

There isn't a lot you can do with 9/10th of a pig except slaughter it and make bacon.

I think I must be local to this poster. There is definitely another side to the story she is not telling us. "Little Grennie" has been terrorising the neighbourhood for years, and she has done nothing to stop him.

She is talked of locally as "Grennie's Mum" - no-one can remember her real name any more because her son has become so notorious.

There are plans afoot to deal with the situation though. Beowulf is not above turning vigilante, and he is not someone you want to mess with...

What do Mumsnetters think about population levels? According to the Domesday Book there are more than two million people in England, surely that is not sustainable? But my DH thinks the real problem is the increasing numbers living to be over thirty and says there should be tax breaks for families of more than sixteen.

Why does mum get all the blame? Where is Little Grennie's dad in all this?

Is my partner being unreasonable? We live rurally in Wiltshire and he has a job hunting and gathering ( hope that’s not too outing) but someone has put a crazy idea into his head. He wants to go to Salisbury Plain, which is many days walk away, and help build some sort of monument out of enormous stones I keep asking him “ what is the point” and he doesn’t have any sort of explanation. I’m with child again, no 8 I think but it’s hard to keep track and he says he could be away for years as they keep updating it. WIBU to not wait for him and go back to my parents house, well I say house but it’s a rough kind of tent structure really.

DF is in questionable shape and DM is frailty itself.

Should I put an antic disposition on?

AIBU?

DH has been on and on at me about giving him my Christmas list.
So I sent it to him today and now he's in a full on sulk, saying I'm a greedy CF.

Attached my list so please tell me honestly where I can cut back. TIA.

If you can find a medium-sized rat in your local barn, that should be sufficient to feed your family for a week, at least.

Why oh why is feudal England still obsessed with the class system!

I'm giving everyone home-made calendars this year.

Is next year 1 AD, or Zero BC?

Or is it minus some bloody thing?

Zero? Are you, ahem, not a Roman Citizen? What is this ridiculous 'void' of which you speak? You can't use something to represent nothing because IT'S NOTHING, you Barbarian!

You can't just come over here and expect your superior mathematics, geometry, medicine, art, libraries, architecture, agriculture, music and all your other fancy ideas to take root. Next thing you know, we'll have our culture quashed, our Empire declining, we'll lose all of our Gods, we'll have a II-Tier Emperor situation between here and Byzantium and all our great grandchildren will be using your nasty, furrin numbers and Base X instead of the perfectly normal I-M.

My child has a strange rash. Could this be the pox upon us?