Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Feed them to King Henry. Rumour is his diet’s gone to pot since his son went down on Ye White Ship, and he needs the protein. Can’t hurt.

Have you tried any of these exciting new products from the New World? Potatoes, tomatoes, chocolate, tobacco? Which is the best to serve at my banquet to go one better than my SIL's Turkie last week?

Advice please.
Been invited to a baby shower at 'Ye Olde Stable Inne' in Bethlehem.
AIBU to think they're being absolute CF to expect everyone to give up family time ON CHRISTMAS DAY to attend.

Also attached a Wish List.
How do they expect me to source Frankincense and Myrrh, and not to mention gold when our tenthold income is only 4 shekels!!

I mean, it's not like it's the coming of the messiah or anything right?!

I've 1 shilling and sixpence to last until next quarter day.

Can anyone give me some interesting recipes made only from bread, skilly and the furry cheese I have left from last Christmas please?

Dost thou have mead? If so thou couldst threw all thynges into thy cauldron over slow to middlingye heate, from whence the sun arose until sun doth sette (giveth or taketh wonne or too partes of the sundial), then putteth thine feet’s upp and enjoyeth the jalous gayze of thine “SIL”.

Verily, this thread is most amusing but I dare not share it with my husband for he believes that women should not read or have any opinions other than his. We had a row earlier and he told me he is going to put me in a scolds bridle if I carry on having opinions. He's stomped off in a sulk to milk the cows. I hope he falls in a cowpat.

HAST THOU SEENST YE NEWFANGLED ITALIAN FRESCOES?!! swoons

Do not forget to heed Nostradamus prophecy that ye olde Orange Horrore will be in power in the Newe Worlde.
Also you are right to fear falling off the edge of the olde worlde at sea.

I believe my husband has an OW, he seems to have built a labyrinth and visits her there. Should I confront her?

Can anyone recommend a place where one may purloin some chastity knickers? Dh and I have mismatched libidos and I fear he may bring in another wife for I am not fulfilling my wifely duties. Aibu to lace his mead with arsenic?

Has Banquo ghosted me?

Do not play coy, Thane of Cawdor. We know 'tis thee who speaks.

My two sisters hath told me so.

PS. Thou knowest well that is not the meaning of the word "ghost".

No, skullcap will work far better, but I am no apothecary. Ensure he has an evening dose with his stew, and if you may then do catch a single hair from the infiltrator's head. Thou knowest what to do next.

The weather has been most inclement the last sennight thus preventing myself and my dear sisters from venturing forth to Mrs Miggins' ribbon shop in the village in time for the ball.

AIBU to obtain our shoe roses by proxy and send our maid out in the rain to fetch them?

I don't mind a muddy hem myself but don't want to risk turning an ankle as there's a hot new guy in town and I want to show him my moves.

Are my visitors penis beaker folk?

Am verily fuming.
Found out DH has been sending penis parchments to the local wench.

ETB! (Exectute The Bastard!)

I do blame the tapestries in church. They are most revealing. My late DH was caught many a time with a candle beside the window.

If it’s the couple I read about on another thread, they have form for this type of thing.

Apparently the cousin, let’s call her E, had planned a baby reveal party which was really important after years of trying but her cousin, let’s call her M, upstaged it with an annunciation/engagement announcement and had this poem that she wanted everyone to recite…

Her DH isn’t a high net worth individual so I don’t know what all the fuss is about.

AIBU to go to bed tonight without pleasuring my husband. I feel rotten with a cold but I know it's expected of me. Please tell me what to do MN.

Ye olde quickee

Oh ye poore thinge.
Just lie back and thinke of Englaland.
I give thee permission to use the parchment of mine owne DH's <ahem> manly attributes (see above) for ye pleasure.

Or just tell thine husband ye is washing ye tresses.

Not happy. LairBnB host hold my deposit for 'deep cleaning' holiday cave on last annual migration. Was only breakfast mammoth bones and we already late for trek home across the savannah.

AIBU to carve bad review on local cliff?

Oh it sounds like the same CFs alright!
Did you hear how she didn't even poas like everyone else, but apparently got an angel to confirm she was with child!
She'll be on her high donkey for weeks now... 🙄

Is this fine for the mother of the bride?

🤣🤣🤣
"LairBnB" ye made me proper lol.
I actually guffawed at that 😆😂