How old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Soubriquet]

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

Huh? This is mumsnet, and the people on this thread are very mostly women

😂

20 (almost 21) in my 3rd year of university. It was a pretty average age for my friendship group - a few girls were a year or two earlier, some were a few years later. Only a few girls at school had lost theirs before we left at 18, and they weren’t really friends of mine as we had less in common. I was (and am) very into horses and swim club, as were lots of my pals so we spent all our time with our ponies or in the pool I think and had no time for boys 😂

I was 18. At the time I felt like the oldest virgin ever, but I’m glad I waited.

I find it disturbing and sad when I hear about 13 olds having sex. That’s far too young. I have a niece and nephew the same age, they are literally just kids.

18 and felt pressured. Was the last in my ‘friendship’ group (to use that term loosely as I realise now they weren’t really what friends should be).

I don’t think DD has, she is in her mid 20’s and not keen/impressed with people generally, so someone would have to be particularly awesome I think for her to take it to the next stage.

DH was young too and from what he says it’s typical of his year, both girls and boys. Some of the stuff he has spoken about gives me the grrrs as I would have hoped parents in that era had had a better idea of what their young teenagers were up to.

I really wish the UK had the staggered age of consent laws that some countries do that factors in the age gap as well as the age itself, that would make far more sense. I don't think two teens almost the same age should have one criminalised because they are just north of 16, but a 25 or 30 year old man should definitely not be allowed anywhere near a 15 year old.

Edited to add, man or woman, on the basis of some of the posts of very young boys losing their virgiinity to much older women.

My 16th birthday, to my bf who was 19. We’d been together 6 months or so and I was well up for it before I was 16, but he was too scared of ‘getting handcuffed’, quite sensibly in retrospect. I was madly in love with him and I was glad I waited, it meant a lot to me. I had several opportunities to have sex from the age of 14 onwards, but it meant a lot to me and I wanted it to be the right person. Of course he turned out not to be the right person but I tried!

My dd is 19 and most definitely still a virgin. No interest at all in dating either men or women. She says she’s asexual 🤷‍♀️

13, most of my mates back then started way before me about 11 & 12 years young 🤦‍♀️ my DH was 19 when I popped his cherries 🍒🤣😂 I was 18 then. Do I regret it, no but I wouldn’t want that for my kids. My eldest son was 16 & the youngest who is 19 is still pure, he doesn’t leave the house 😁 thankfully my eldest is happily living with his lovely GF in their own home so alls good

This 100%. AT 13, I was legit still playing with my Charlies Angels dolls, and bopping to my disco records in my bedroom. I was not a mature 13 IYSWIM. I was just a kid... I was 13 and I acted 13! I didn't really know what sex was at that point. I mean I kinda had an idea, but didn't know much. (Had biology lessons but it was very vague and basic.) I also did not WANT to know.

Had my first proper kiss at 16-17, and had sex first at 19. I think I may have said 20 yesterday, but I worked it out in my head properly and it was a certain summer just after I had turned 19. And it was a boyfriend who I had been with for 5 months (a long time when you're 19!) He was 3 months younger than me.

However... I know some girls DID have sex at 12, 13, and 14 when I was at school. (in the 1970s.) Including a couple of my cousins and neighbours. Many girls who started young ended up having kids before the age of 17-18, and some have not had the best sexual health experience, or even general health experience. I think 'having sex very young' is sometimes linked to health issues. There is a well documented link between having multiple sexual partners young and certain health issues.

Many of the girls who started young, carried on having sex with many different males before they were 16. One girl I knew at school bragged about having shagged 20 different men before she was 15.

The girls I knew at school who had sex very young, always seemed to do it with older males too, the males were never the same age (12 to 15,) they were as old as 19-25. The girls thought they were so cool and edgy having sex with a man of 22 when they were 14! Horrifically it seemed 'normal' then. A few girls had sex with men employed by the school - cleaners and caretakers, and random blokes in the area - including fathers of some of their schoolmates. It was all very 'Rita, Sue, and Bob too.' Utterly dreadful.

I have 2 DD, both late 20s now. They were both almost 20 when they lost their virginity. Had left school and college and were at uni. The thought of them having sex at 12-13 just fills me with horror. They were CHILDREN. Like me, they were just enjoying their childhood, and weren't looking to have sex at 12 or 13!

.

9

Lost it to a one night stand. I was 21 they were 24.

I am so sorry to read that. It's horrifying 💐

This is honestly one of the most upsetting threads I’ve read on MN. OP obviously not coming back.

14

I agree. In this case I hope sone are posting in bad faith. Look after yourself 💐

I'm so sorry this happened to you. x

I was 19, almost 20 and it was my dh who I'm still with.

15

First proper boyfriend, we were together about 9 months. No regrets. He'd just turned 17.

I was 15
one daughter 17 other nearly 20
don’t know about my sons but pretty sure one was at uni

15

17 for me and with much anxiety, but apparently, I wasn't as disappointing as I'd feared.

Two friends lost theirs at 10 and 13, both keen, without coercion, but regretted the way they were treated by the boys involved. Both went on to be very active with lots of men/boys for the next ten years with little to no sense of self-worth.

The AIDS ads from '85 or '86, created a divide between those who'd already had numerous partners (who felt any damage would have already been done) and those of us who hadn't, who were terrified.

17, literally a few days from 18.
DH was 18.
Most friends somewhere from 16-18.

In my 40s🤣. Very underwhelming. Thankfully found someone nicer sfter.

Aged 23 on my honeymoon and am still happily married

I was 18, almost 19. First snog the same day, I was desperate to get it over and done with. It was fairly meh. The lad turned out to be quite horrid.

DH says 17 to a girl the same age who was likely (looking back) quite vulnerable as she had just lost her mum ☹️