How old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Soubriquet]

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

Well that sounds to me like a safeguarding disclosure.

I find random reminders of CSA incredibly triggering and a bit unnecessary, tbh...

I can't tell you how many times I'm reading an unrelated, even lighthearted thread, and someone randomly posts about their CSA.

TW-labelled threads are a thing for a reason.

I hope it’s not the norm.

It depends very much on your peer group and background and very probably the school too.

Yes, Trigger Warnings are there for a reason & I'm sorry if you have felt triggered (I sometimes do too & it can be hard). But surely most would realise that a thread discussing '1st sex' is going to include people, like myself, whose 1st sexual experience was CSA ? I didn't include my age in case 'it upset people' but, actually, I should feel 'ok' to include it. I was <5.
It happens, right through society, & acknowledging that is, generally, useful.
I have found it useful to read other people's experiences of (much later, consensual) 1st sexual experiences
It's helpful for all of us to read about our differences - because helps us also remember our similarities - we are all women deserving of respect. Self respect (hard to gain & maintain in a world that still values us as sexual commodities to the extent that we still discuss 'losing our virginities').
We can pass that RESPECT message down to our daughters, & our sons, & in 25 years a similar thread might hopefully contain less 'regretful' posts.

19, to my best mates sister, she grabbed me and started kissing me.

15-17 was the norm at my school, an all girls grammar, in the 2000s. I remember it as being a bit of a sex mad time for teenagers, we knew about pregnancy and STDs but as far as we were concerned if he was rubbered up then away you go. Now it seems to be more about consent, making sure every act is agreed to, ensuring the flirting isn’t creepy, hoping you’re not being filmed and so on. That would put me off far more.

I honestly have never thought about my sisters sex lives in that much detail.

Okay? That’s great for you.

Nothing wrong with hoping my 15 year old sister doesn’t feel pressured to have sex with someone

I hear ya Barbie! I have no sisters but do have 2 daughters, and I thought the same. PLEASE do not feel pressured by any boy.

Thank you haha, I thought that comment was really strange.

My little sister is really shy and quiet so I do worry about her in certain situations. I think it’s natural to think about your sisters/daughters when it comes to situations like these. Especially because of social pressures which seem to get worse as the years go on!

No but I just find it odd you’re giving it so much mental energy, I have to be honest.

‘Giving it so much mental energy?’ And you got that by one comment on Mumsnet.
Pls leave me alone🤣

“Mental energy” ffs 🙄

I was 15, and in Year 10. It was with a Boyfriend of 3 months and we were together until Uni.

Yes it was a bit strange. No-one would think anything of a man being worried about his little sister, or a father being worried.. (About his daughter!) But a woman being worried for her little sister is weird or wrong???

Errr, no it's really not. You keep being concerned. You sound like an amazing big sis!

.

It’s really not weird. I thought the same about my 2 younger sisters, and also my nieces who are the same age.

@SweetBirdsong aw thank you! She’s my one and only little sister so I like to look out for her and make sure she’s okay.

I’ve obviously never voiced these concerns😂 just made a connection between the age I lost my virginity which made me realise that my little sister is the same age

@LoseLooseLucy glad I’m not the only one!

Nearly 21

Lost my virginity at 12 had first baby at 16 then 18 and 22

14, positive experience with BF of about 2 years although we spilt not long after it. Next BF lost his to me at 15 just before we went and did our mock exams…. It was mind blowing compared to first and we both failed our mocks 😆 mainly as we kept making eyes at each other 👀. I remember when talking my GCSE’s there were two or three girls that were pregnant and one had recently had a baby. Even now I just think that must have been so hard. I hope my DD knows that she can talk to me and so I can help with all the precautions needed to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

I was 16 and it was with my boyfriend at the time who was the same age. My mum kept accusing us of having had sex already, so I figured why not just do it as she already thought we were.
Dh was also 16 and his was with an older woman.
DD is 11 and disgusted by the thought of anything like that, so hopefully that will continue a fair few years yet! 😂

Pretty sure both my daughters passed that without even their first kiss.

From my perspective kids are getting older more slowly these days, not more quickly.

I remember reading that the average age girls in my age group (now 50) lost their virginity was 15. I felt very late at 17.

15 to a 25 year old. Makes me shudder now.

Gosh I was 20 I think. And have actually only slept with 3 people and I’m in my late 40s and divorced. Did attempt it when I was much younger around 16 with a very steady boyfriend but nerves got the better of us both and we didn’t manage it properly so don’t think it counts. Looks like a few PPs have had failed first attempts. Lol.

I had a few boyfriends at uni but we were mostly a group of Christian’s who had agreed to abstain before marriage until I met number 1&2. Both the same crowd still though, we just changed our views. Then I met my now ex DH.

My kids are 11&14. Oldest seems to have zero interest in relationships altogether but is autistic and does have some friends. Youngest seems a bit more flighty. Some of her what’s apps I’ve monitored have been a bit inappropriate but more using language they don’t actually understand. Such as 10 year olds calling people a virgin as an insult and not knowing what it means. But I remember the days in middle school where you were called a virgin if you still wore knee length white socks for school. My recent conversation after their latest sex Ed day at school proved that. We have always been quite open at discussing things though.

I was 16, DH was 18.
I'm pretty sure that DS was 17 and that DD hasn't yet (at age 16), although obviously I can't be completely certain.