How old were you when you lost your virginity?

[Soubriquet]

And if you have children old enough, how old were they?

I keep hearing about how kids are losing their virginity younger and younger now so I was curious to know how old you were, compared to your children.

I was 17. Dh was 13.

DD is 10 and still at the age where anything sexual grosses her out (thank god). They are currently doing sex education at school at the moment and she comes home horrified every time

My DS is 23 and is upset that he's virgin. Not miserable about it, but it does play on his mind. He knows lots of people in his sixth form (mixed grammar school) lost it at 16/17. There was a lot of sex talk at university. And it really really played on his mind that he'd never even kissed a girl before.

He told me he had his first snog at 19 in a club. But has had nothing since.

16 and reader I married him.

18 for me and its none of my business when my kids lost theirs

15

I used to teach, UK, secondary. A school nurse told me that 'a lot of girls come up to high school already sexually active.' 11. As if at that age, the girls had made a 'lifestyle choice'.

Rephrase as 'a lot of girls are already enduring sexual abuse by the time they are 11'.

But it IS your business surely if they are still at school and living with you??

Its a parent’s role to make sure their kids are safe, to (try at least) to know where they are and who they are with, to do your best to ensure they are safe and if sexually active, that it is consensual and they are protected.

If kids are out and about, we are supposed to know where they are, who they are with and what time they are supposed to be home.

This thread is like an episode of EadtEnders!

As this thread shows, many people wait until 18 or older at which point their sexual activity in a consensual relationship certainly is not their parents’ business. It is a strange interpretation that the pp must be ignoring the antics of wildly promiscuous 14yos. It’s far more likely they are speaking for themselves and their respect for their adult children’s privacy.

A 10 year old doesn't simply 'want' to have sex. They just don't. Now, not necessarily coercion but clearly something has happened/is wrong for a 10 year old to want to have sex.

Read the full thread. A number of people have stated their children’s sexual activity isn’t their business.

21

I have.

You seem to be assuming that every person referring to their ‘children’ is describing under-18s. People rarely bother to clarify with ‘adult children’ or similar, although a number have given their DC’s ages.

17, or 18.

I’m not assuming anything.

People having sex at the age of eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and sixteen and saying they have ‘no idea’ when their own kids started having sex.

It’s very sad to read how little effort goes into actively parenting.

I’ve just done a quick ctrl + F look and can’t find a post like you describe. Posters saying they became sexually active worryingly young, yes. Posters saying they don’t know when their now adult children became sexually active, also yes. Both in one post? Not so much. Happy to be corrected on this as I’m not going to trawl 600+ posts.

My parents have ‘no idea’ when I became sexually active - I was an adult and had left home - but I was nevertheless superbly actively parented.

I was 17. My eldest is 18 and in a relationship - not easy to get used to. My 15 yr old is just starting to have girlfriends and is friends with older boys who I hope are not encouraging him to experiment yet🫣😱

I had to grow up quick in my house I think that was part of it & at 13 I was mentally a lot older & street wise than many. I’d run the home already for years so grew up long before my time. It’s not something I’m proud of but I don’t regret it although the first time I thought it rather underwhelming 🤣 I would be horrified if my kids started at that age but thankfully I’ve given them a better upbringing than I had

13

Bringtheweatherwithyou,you assume my kids are still at school or teenagers,the fact is my kids are in their 40's, and responsible adults,and I did a good job of bringing them

It doesn’t matter what age they are now. You should have made it your business to know if they were sexually active when they were children living with you.

You don’t know that she didn’t!!

Bringtheweatherwithyou
Why do I need to know? They never had boyfriends or girlfriends staying over, did you tell your parents when you became sexually active? I certainly didn't as it was none of their business

It’s not a parents business! It ‘s a parents business to educate their children and supervise them as much as possible until they are adults. Private information like that is private.

She said it was ‘none of her business’. It’s a thread about age. If she knew she would not have made that remark.

It isn’t even about Nanny It’s absolutely a parent’s business to know where their children are, who they are with and if they are safe. If they are t at home, a pate t should know where they are and what time they are supposed to be home. That’s what a parent’s role is.

And if they are sexually active, ensuring it’s both consensual and safe.

We can’t just give up and say that it is not our business.

Our children are our business until they are eighteen at least!

Nah. 15/16 or older: not the parents business. As long as they are well informed about contraception

It’s not a parents business! It ‘s a parents business to educate their children and supervise them as much as possible until they are adults. Private information like that is private.

What an eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old is doing is very much their parent’s business. Parent's are responsible for them.