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Original poster

When people disappear

204 replies

JoonT · 27/01/2023 22:10

Have you ever known someone who just disappeared? I was talking to someone today whose father recently died. He has been trying to contact his dad's brother, who vanished about 30 years ago, leaving no trace. They've put appeals out on social media, but no luck. The journalist AA Gill's brother also disappeared like this and was never seen again.

It made me think of a neighbor I had years ago. When I first moved in with my ex, I got to know a woman who lived opposite. Her husband was ten years older than her and a bit of a bully/control freak. We saw each other almost every day for years and became quite close, then she vanished. She'd told me that she was saving money and planned to leave him one day, but it still came as a shock. I never saw or heard of her again.

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 01/02/2023 15:10

The lady missing in lancashire is so odd
To leave her phone and the dog too whilst on a work call , it's all so strange and sad
I hope they find her soon

Tellmeimcrazy · 01/02/2023 15:14

JoonT · 27/01/2023 22:10

Have you ever known someone who just disappeared? I was talking to someone today whose father recently died. He has been trying to contact his dad's brother, who vanished about 30 years ago, leaving no trace. They've put appeals out on social media, but no luck. The journalist AA Gill's brother also disappeared like this and was never seen again.

It made me think of a neighbor I had years ago. When I first moved in with my ex, I got to know a woman who lived opposite. Her husband was ten years older than her and a bit of a bully/control freak. We saw each other almost every day for years and became quite close, then she vanished. She'd told me that she was saving money and planned to leave him one day, but it still came as a shock. I never saw or heard of her again.

Gosh you don't think he found out and killed her do you?

Tellmeimcrazy · 01/02/2023 15:17

CrescentMoons · 27/01/2023 22:26

Yes my friend’s husband is one. She has endured 11 years of pain whilst bringing up 4 children (now adult). He has been declared dead by the high court now. Murder, suicide, accident ….. no one knows. He had walked out two weeks before and slept in his car but had promised never to do it again, he dropped the children off at school and said he loved them and vanished.

A friend of mine had a daughter married with two sons British but lived in another European country. I knew them all reasonably well, husband, wife and two adult boys. She disappeared a couple of years ago, allegedly he said she wanted to leave and he withdrew 10,000 € and gave it to her. She hasn’t been seen or heard of since. She wouldn’t be out of contact with her parents or sons and yet nothing in years. I met him the husband several times- he has been investigated for her murder. He is saying her family have a history of depression etc it’s very painful for her sons and parents and the husband (if he is innocent). She also seemed frightened of him (the husband) so it is concerning. I have contact with her parents but they don’t keep in touch with the son in law any more. It’s very odd.

I reckon he paid someone to kill her and the 10k was the sum paid.

Tellmeimcrazy · 01/02/2023 15:19

Inhibitor · 28/01/2023 01:56

A couple of years ago, I watched a YouTube documentary made by a man whose close friend died suddenly from a heart attack. In trying to contact his family to let them know, he discovered his friend was not the person he told him he was and was using a false identity. Through some detective work, he finds the missing person poster and gets in touch with the man’s family who didn’t know what had happened to him. It was fascinating and moving.

I saw this it was riveting

Tellmeimcrazy · 01/02/2023 15:22

thecoconutcat · 27/01/2023 22:57

My brother went missing 28 years ago and I found him this year living at the other end of the country.

@thethecoconutcat did he ever say why?

louise5754 · 01/02/2023 15:36

ToffeeNotCoffee · 28/01/2023 22:50

Andrew Gosden has already been mentioned. I realise he could have fallen into the hands of wrong doers but I wonder why he left home that day ? The circumstances of it have me baffled.

Stephen Clark - age 28, disappeared whilst out for a walk with his mum. Both his parents have been arrested for his murder but were released without charge. They were on t.v. a couple of years ago where his mum remarks that's our story. His Dad corrects her by saying 'it's the truth' I've listened to a You Tube presentation about it. There is a school of thought that his Mum and Stephen didn't go for a walk that day i.e. it's baloney that he used a public toilet and was never seen again. Personally I suspect his Dad knows more than he's letting on.

I remember watching a programme about Stephen Clarke and his parents.

Hooveslikejagger · 01/02/2023 16:30

Tellmeimcrazy · 01/02/2023 15:19

I saw this it was riveting

Show quote history

@Inhibitor @Tellmeimcrazy What was the documentary called?

Inhibitor · 01/02/2023 16:40

@Hooveslikejagger it’s Looking for Mike

purplepencilcase · 01/02/2023 17:17

comedycentral · 27/01/2023 22:22

A man has been missing in my local area for a number of years now. It's as if he vanished into thin air. I always think about that reported missing episode on the BBC where they eventually found a missing man's car in the middle of a roundabout. He had crashed and was fatally injured without anyone even seeing anything. Heartbreaking.

Yes that episodes was incredible- poor guy found crashed in his car.

louise5754 · 01/02/2023 17:20

That episode was awful. I thought his gf and the couple they had the bbq with were involved.

LadyEloise1 · 01/02/2023 17:35

AnImaginaryCat · 28/01/2023 02:38

Nobody close and it's in that vague friend of a friend way. But it's just such a heartbreaking situation I frequently think about it.

Their brother (22 at the time) went out to their Christmas party and disappeared over 22 years ago. Once it was realised he never got home there was a large amount of news coverage. Family kept up an appeal for a long time.

There's been re-appeals since. All possible traces followed. There was
a search for his body a few years ago.

Incredibly sad to think there's a family that just don't know where he is or what happened. Also that there's many families like this.

Was that in Ireland ?

Fluffleupagus · 01/02/2023 17:42

My dad disappeared in a far flung foreign country in the 1980s, he was there for work. His passport, wedding ring and wallet were all found in the hotel room with all his clothes and other belongings. It's assumed he went swimming and drowned but he was never found so we still don't know if that's what really happened.

Fifiellz · 01/02/2023 18:02

So many sad stories here.

I followed the Corrie McKeague one closely a few years ago. Still so many discrepancies about his last evening and no body for his family.

clarepetal · 01/02/2023 18:29

Standbyguest · 28/01/2023 06:57

There's a very active missing person campaign in my town - Georgina Gharsallah. Just disappeared of the face of the earth one day, leaving behind her 2 boys and a mum who spends every day trying to find her. The police have assumed murdered but there have been no clues, no witnesses, nothing.

I think she's buried under the new building at Teville Gate. Work was going on there when she disappeared, so sad.

Marmite27 · 01/02/2023 18:36

Tenuous connection, but a colleagues ex-husband has a brother that disappeared. Just went out one day and never came back. His mum was getting older and needed to downsize, but was reluctant to move in case he came back.

As the mum was downsizing, I was passed along some of his old childhood toys for my children. I think about him often, even though I barely met his family.

Standbyguest · 01/02/2023 18:47

@clarepetal see I don't really get this theory, the carpark didn't come down til over a year after she went missing, and the old building (that is now where the HMRC stands) was pulled down after that. If she was buried before then they would have found something during the building work, and if it was after the work started that means she was somewhere for a year before being buried.

Standbyguest · 01/02/2023 18:49

Ignore me just realise she went missing 2018, thought it was 2017. So yea, could've happened

007DoubleOSeven · 01/02/2023 18:54

Fluffleupagus · 01/02/2023 17:42

My dad disappeared in a far flung foreign country in the 1980s, he was there for work. His passport, wedding ring and wallet were all found in the hotel room with all his clothes and other belongings. It's assumed he went swimming and drowned but he was never found so we still don't know if that's what really happened.

That's so awful, I am so sorry Flowers

Hollyhobbi · 01/02/2023 21:43

LadyEloise1 · 01/02/2023 17:35

Was that in Ireland ?

Show quote history

Yes. That was Trevor Deely in Dublin. I used to pass his missing persons posters on my way to work.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 01/02/2023 22:49

@Hollyhobbi

Yes. That was Trevor Deely in Dublin. I used to pass his missing persons posters on my way to work.

Watched a You Tube presentation about him today. Ireland Coffee House crime or something like that.

Had Trevor noticed suspicious activity in the bank's I.T. systems ? Trevor worked in I.T. at the bank.

Why bother logging on to his work computer at 4am on his way home after a night out when he had been drinking ? What was so important about an e-mail he was waiting for that could not have waited until he came to work a few hours later as planned ?

What did he know ? What had he seen ?

Any reference to using prostitutes is a smoke screen IMO.

CoffeeTaster · 01/02/2023 23:02

ToffeeNotCoffee · 01/02/2023 22:49

@Hollyhobbi

Yes. That was Trevor Deely in Dublin. I used to pass his missing persons posters on my way to work.

Watched a You Tube presentation about him today. Ireland Coffee House crime or something like that.

Had Trevor noticed suspicious activity in the bank's I.T. systems ? Trevor worked in I.T. at the bank.

Why bother logging on to his work computer at 4am on his way home after a night out when he had been drinking ? What was so important about an e-mail he was waiting for that could not have waited until he came to work a few hours later as planned ?

What did he know ? What had he seen ?

Any reference to using prostitutes is a smoke screen IMO.

I think about him often. I was in college ij Dublin at the time and only a few years younger than him. I remember his face on every lamp post. So sad.
That's interesting about the email/bank/IT information

CatherineCawoodsScarf · 01/02/2023 23:49

Fluffleupagus · 01/02/2023 17:42

My dad disappeared in a far flung foreign country in the 1980s, he was there for work. His passport, wedding ring and wallet were all found in the hotel room with all his clothes and other belongings. It's assumed he went swimming and drowned but he was never found so we still don't know if that's what really happened.

I’m so sorry. What line of work was he in, do you mind me asking?

MrsMarkRonson · 03/02/2023 22:47

@Fluffleupagus How awful for you and your family.

Reinventinganna · 04/02/2023 06:40

I know 4 missing people. One at school who walked into town and was never seen again, one a friends mum who just seems to have never returned from shopping, another is a friend from schools brother who went missing at uni and the last is a friend of dd who went for a walk and never returned. All got/have lots of media coverage apart from the friends mum which makes me think that they know that she’s safe and just doesn’t want to be found.

LadyEloise1 · 04/02/2023 09:09

I too think of Trevor Deely and his family.
The effort they put in to publicise his disappearance. Heartbreaking.
I remember the night he disappeared.
It was a dreadful night weather wise.
Why would a young fellow go back in to his work place at that hour of the night after partying in town. Did anyone recall whether he was drinking that night ?
The disappearance too of Annie Mc Carrick. Her father gave his all in his search for her and died not knowing.
Life can be so cruel. Sad