Things MN has made you paranoid about?

[ThinkingForEveryone]

I'll start:
I am fat....therefore I must smell.
I have pets....therefore my house is a germ ridden cess pit, that smells.
I use fabric conditioner on my laundry.....that must smell.
I sometimes wear a bra more than once.....I must absolutely stink on those days.
Obviously this is light hearted, I'm fairly confident I don't offend anyone with my body odour and my house is in reasonable order (and if you don't like it you have the option to piss off to your fresh smelling home!)
What threads do you read that makes you wonder what the general population must think of you?

It's made me paranoid to talk to anyone about anything! I never realised how easily offended and upset people were about the smallest thing!

Mumsnet is weird from a personal hygiene perspective, it really attracts the overly clean!

It makes me paranoid about mentioning anything I read on Mumsnet in case I out myself and they work out my username

that my neighbours will call the police on me if my children cry

Answering a knock at the door! 😂

Dogs barking
toilet brush
washing up

Ah yes, the easily offended over thinkers! I forgot about those.

Clothes shopping (which I hate any way!) I can just imagine the sneery sods on Style & Beauty dismissing anything I look at as mumsy or frumpy 🙄

That people take offence incredibly easily and find very innocuous behaviours terribly rude!

Skinny jeans. I now am nervous to wear them for fear of being dated but note that there are plenty of younger people out and about in skinny jeans that look fine and dont seem to mind if mumsnet fibds them dated.

Mumsnet totally ruined my wedding because all I could think of is how strongly people feel about taking offence at literally every aspect of what you decide and how all my guests probably hated me!

Oh no, I'm wearing skinny jeans with a blue and white striped top....not only do I smell, I'm also dated 😂
Clearly I can no longer be permitted entry into civilised society.

@Cantanka that's awful. I hope you didn't really feel like that!
Most people I know love a good wedding do, it seems unique to MN to take offence to weddings!

I feel self conscious wearing my lovely Pandora bracelet because apparently it will make me look tacky. I used to love wearing it.

I also don’t tell people in real life that my holiday is AI as I genuinely worry I’ll be judged and that people will look down their nose at me. We love our holidays but MN has made me feel ashamed of them!

I had a thread a while ago where I was called some disgusting names. I won't say which one because it will probably start up again but it made me feel shit for weeks and I'm not ashamed to say I cried over it.

When you charging your adult child to pay towards household bills.

@HappyBinosaur put the damn bracelet on and wear it with pride! I love Pandora jewellery (note, I am already banished from society for my misdemeanours so maybe take advice from others!)
I honestly think MN is a weird mix of people that I never see in real life (or maybe I do and they are all silently judging me🤔)

Leaving washing out overnight, spiders’ willies and all that 😂

😁

Air freshener.
I smell and am disguising it.
Cats
My house smells.
Cats again
I'm a horrible cat owner because I sometimes leave them overnight
Cats.....
Hideous and cruel because I feed them supermarket cat food.

It's made me paranoid to tell anyone that I used to be a SAHM ☹

@JohnsShirt I am setting up a community for people banished from society by MN, I think you can join....

I never get the smell thing because presumably no one knows when anyone last washed unless they live with them so to say ‘I know if people don’t shower daily’ is bollox because the smelly person might not have showered for 2 weeks and only started smelling on day 13.

I can sympathise with this. It's surprised me how much I get affected by anonymous people's views. I cried once during the lockdown when I commented on people around me not keeping to the rules. It started a pile-on and I was so embarrassed 🙁 (However, I still think I was right and everyone who had a go at me was a moron..)!

I have a dog, therefore I stink to high heaven. And he doesn’t have a super duper absolutely perfect recall (it’s good, but it’s not turn on a sixpence perfect), so I am a terrible, awful dog owner. And I got him
from a breeder instead of rescuing, so I am an awful person who views dogs only as
commodities. And I’m not a high earner or massively career driven, so I’m a failure. And I changed my name on marriage, so I’m not a proper feminist.

I should probably just go…!

That chatting and engaging with your child in public = performance parenting.