Things MN has made you paranoid about?

[ThinkingForEveryone]

I'll start:
I am fat....therefore I must smell.
I have pets....therefore my house is a germ ridden cess pit, that smells.
I use fabric conditioner on my laundry.....that must smell.
I sometimes wear a bra more than once.....I must absolutely stink on those days.
Obviously this is light hearted, I'm fairly confident I don't offend anyone with my body odour and my house is in reasonable order (and if you don't like it you have the option to piss off to your fresh smelling home!)
What threads do you read that makes you wonder what the general population must think of you?

That my house might be minging.
Funny thing is I'm not comfortable in very clean houses myself.

Not only am I in frump city because I’m overweight (5’9” at a size 10) but also am guilty of wearing BLACK trousers with A COLOURED TOP 😱😱😱😱

I also use shower gel rather than scrub myself raw with a wire brush and carbolic soap, so I stink too.

The smell of my house. No stinky dogs or anything gross but now i have candles and diffusers in every room and only use zoflora to clean

I dress terribly!
I mean I was never a fashion queen, but I didn’t know I had to ditch my cardigan! Or my cheap looking bright colours. (It’s ok, I actually find style and beauty quite insightful and lighthearted - I just ignore things that make me worry about things I really don’t need to worry about 🤣)

So many things!

My daughters name (I also read a thread of here about it and everyone was scathing saying it was like a nickname)
Whether any of my in-laws like me at all - I’m basically scared to say anything in their presence anymore
That my daughter will grow up to hate me and want nothing to do with me as I will be embarrassing
That my neighbours will report me every time my DD cries
That someone will think it’s too hot for me to take my dog for a walk

I could go on!!!!

That people might be writing passive aggressive posts about me doing something I didn’t even realise I did!

One thing I've noticed about MN is how quickly people are to recommend a stranger throw away their marriage/long term relationship. I totally get it in terms of abuse/gaslighting/cheating etc. But some go a bit far! What happened to trying to make things work?

Worry that I don't earn 100k a year and have a 1m pension pot.

My DH is 15 years older than me and I’ve had to stop reading threads about age gap relationships. People say horrible things and it’s really upsetting.

I bought all three of my beautiful and well-cared-for dogs. MN makes me feel guilty as hell about it.

I have tattoos. Common as muck, I am, according to MN.

I have a pixie cut. It doesn’t suit me, because I’m not 20 and a size 8 with cheekbones to die for. Again, according to MN law.

And my Bretons and Converse are as frumpy as fuck. Except I can’t say ‘frumpy’ because it’s misogynist.

This has not actually made me paranoid, but I had never been so upset or ashamed or felt ‘worthless’ about taking some time to be a SAHM than when I saw comments about it on here. Really didn’t do my pnd any good.
Luckily I’m over than now and very happy to be doing what works for me and my family, especially as me studying means I should be able to earn more and support my family more in the future. And actually do something I want to do. (Not that any of that should matter. As a woman I should be respected for my choice regardless and not be stereotyped).

I sit out in my west facing front garden, not realising what a terrible social gaffe this is.

My neighbours all do too.

We live in a very nice part of town, not rough at all!

Yey.
I never get invited to anything, probably because of the smell of me obvs.
(I actually do get invited to things because I'm normal, MN is just weird at times)

I've received a lot of stick for caring about my husband's mental health and wellbeing, and prioritising his social life. People tend to get very stressed that I'm not also getting weekends away - apparently I should be giving my EBF baby bottles and going on girls trips, just so it's fair.

MN firmly believes that a man's place is in the wrong, and if you have a small niggle with some part of his personality, that's not just part and parcel of loving another human, it's abuse and you should LTB.

I don't do boob or bust because the bra size it made me was bloody uncomfortable.
I'm quite happy in my 32B thank you, and my boobs haven't fallen off, nor do they look dreadful in clothes that are not from Boden.

This is one of the first awful things I noticed about this site, its really sinister. Posters seem to jump right from 'there are problems' to 'get a good solicitor'

No mention of what could happen to heal or improve the relationship and barely any consideration of whether the OP is being unreasonable or needy or controlling (when often the first post screams of this)

I used to worry I wasn't stylish or fashionable enough after reading the Style and Beauty threads.

Then I spent some time reading the 'What I'm wearing today' threads and realised that I am much happier following my own idea of what's fashionable.

This thread has really made me laugh, because MN has actually made me a little paranoid. I hadn't realised quite how judgemental or offended people can be. And yes, like pp, I have started wondering if I smell if I don't shower twice a day....

That despite losing weight and having a healthy BMI, at size 10, I'm fat - the equivalent of a size 24 years ago if some posters are to be believed!

I also wear skinny jeans and think I look good in them but that has to be just flattering mirrors and soft lighting!!!

I also think most men are fairly decent people - according to MNs, I'm naive and deluded.

I also can't feed a thousand from one cooked chicken - a total failure in the kitchen. I probably need to got to culinary school.

My bedroom has an ensuite but that's common and I surely must understand that the germs will contaminate everything in the bedroom.

I would also report a suspected child abuse case to SS - I'm an interfering busy body!

I really don't know how I'm so content when MNs thinks I'm failing at everything!!!

I’m disgusting because we re-use bath towels.
My parenting skills are ‘so last century’
I like my DH touching me up without asking my permission first.
I like cyclists

I reckon that I can win with the fact that I live in an open plan house, one of my DS has the box room despite there being a larger spare room available. And I earn over a certain amount that is always stated as mythical by others. I never comment on the holiday threads for fear of being told I'm stealth boasting.
Add me to the outcasts.

• A man is living in my loft.
• I probably have sepsis right now despite only getting a paper cut 30 minutes ago and need to go to A&E immediately or I’ll be dead before the day is done.

I was a SAHM and shockingly I am not married. I also don't have a huge amount of savings, don't shower every day, or wash my towels every day and am overweight . I am the worst

Ive remembered something that will trump you all, I do flush the toilet with the lid up.

Im surprised I havent killed myself

That all men are sex pests and looking for every available opportunity to pounce on poor defenceless women🙄

I don't flush the loo at night if I wee ever. Sometimes I have to go more than once.

The horror!