Things MN has made you paranoid about?

[ThinkingForEveryone]

I'll start:
I am fat....therefore I must smell.
I have pets....therefore my house is a germ ridden cess pit, that smells.
I use fabric conditioner on my laundry.....that must smell.
I sometimes wear a bra more than once.....I must absolutely stink on those days.
Obviously this is light hearted, I'm fairly confident I don't offend anyone with my body odour and my house is in reasonable order (and if you don't like it you have the option to piss off to your fresh smelling home!)
What threads do you read that makes you wonder what the general population must think of you?

Waves to @OldSpinster. I thought I was going to be the first one to post this. The weekly 'AIBU to think what the fuck are people like you doing on here?' threads always make me feel so welcome as a childfree person! Who knew you needed kids to enjoy the madness of penis beaker or the great loo brush debates.

All black and south Asian people are lying. Racism doesn't exist. Day to day experiences of Racism are lies and no one hates black boys in the US/ EU/ UK.

No black people are middle class irrespective of education, profession, etc etc

Switzerland/ Germany/ Europe is heaven on Earth so long as you are white

Need I go on??

See now, that is being called eco-friendly. Many of us were green before the eco warriors on MN started hunting each other down.

I have 3 kids. Clearly my plan is to bring down the planet. Selfish old git me

All men.

Honestly, it's just made me paranoid about being exposed to too many people's opinions. I've always thought that being able to read minds would be a curse rather than a blessing- who wants to know other people's thoughts on everything? And now here we are, exposed to everyone's thoughts on everything. You need a thick skin. I suspect that for everyone MN has helped with advice (and there is some very good advice on here) it's thrown another person into utter confusion as they expose themselves to endless contradictory opinions and judgements.

To tell anyone that I was an SAHM
and
dreading the fact that with two sons I'm going to be banished to obscurity for being a dreaded MIL

I over-think almost everything I say to my adult daughters now. It feels like treading on eggshells. I'm constantly asking my DD who's the mother of my DGD 'is it alright if I...?' and she mostly looks at me as if I'm mad and says "of course you can..!"

There are apparently SO many ways that even a DM (thank goodness I only have daughters so am spared the even more dangerous waters of being a MIL) can apprently offend or cross lines or generally infuriate a MNer.

I'm a bit partial to the odd Body shop item

And....I like what I've bought from Avon. A true MN'er wouldn't touch them with a barge pole apparently

I too like striped tops, skinnies and knee high boots

I dare to not be a fan of some breeds of dogs. I love Border Terriers though. And I didn't rescue ours. True MN'ers only rescue dogs because that's the only way forward to save the planet

Cosmetic surgery especially fillers 😂