Things MN has made you paranoid about?

[ThinkingForEveryone]

I'll start:
I am fat....therefore I must smell.
I have pets....therefore my house is a germ ridden cess pit, that smells.
I use fabric conditioner on my laundry.....that must smell.
I sometimes wear a bra more than once.....I must absolutely stink on those days.
Obviously this is light hearted, I'm fairly confident I don't offend anyone with my body odour and my house is in reasonable order (and if you don't like it you have the option to piss off to your fresh smelling home!)
What threads do you read that makes you wonder what the general population must think of you?

I’m unmarried and childless. How can I be happy and what the hell am I doing in Mumsnet anyway (besides filling the void)

I went to work today in a sleeveless top....and I'm over 45!😱

that you shouldn't recline your seat on an airplane.
I always do this. Feel
very guilty now though!

I want to join mumsnot.

I have a toilet brush and I certainly dont wash my linens every day because I'm too busy living life.

I have a dog and don't always groom and bathe her. I just wait for the (often considerable) dirt to fall off and hoover it up. Nothing catastrophic has happened.

My kids don't do tutoring or any after school clubs because they don't want to and I don't press it.

@Maverickess My kind of woman!! I don't drive either- I have learnt twice but I'm useless at manoeuvres and at 60 I'm not sure I can be arsed now!! I've been known not to wash bedding for a month and yet- I have a clean and tidy house!!

My own contributions include

I never batch cook

I don't really like salad much

Im not a huge fan of Aldi or Lidl

I want to join Mumsnot too. I've never cleaned my oven. And I mean never - eventually the dirt just burns itself off, so what's the point?

About posting things on MN.

I had a question/discussion I wanted to start earlier, but I saved myself the hassle of the dumb, knee jerk responses that I realised would be inevitable.

Oh I didn't know non dyed side part and cardigans was a thing on here 😄add the fact I'm fat and own a cat! We need MN bingo.

Well, I like a good wedding, a hen do and a baby shower. But apparently 99% of mumsnetters hate them - especially baby showers, as it means you are an attention seeking, tacky, grabby person who is forcing your friends to go when they secretly don’t want to 🤣

Also don’t even think about having a balloon arch - positively ghastly and only ‘certain people’ have them ( yes a poster actually said something along those lines on a recent thread)

Oh I have a side parting too. My people!

Thinking of buying someone a lovely bunch of flowers to cheer them up?

Noooooooooo.

The overwhelming fucking admin of having to "source" a vase, fill it with water and then arrange them. Not to mention having to dispose of them eventually. And, of course, some of the lovely flowers will have a scent which will obviously trigger some sort of migraine and a visit to A and E.

You’re supposed to go down there with a reusable washable cloth, vinegar and elbow length rubber gloves.

Or get your cleaner to do it.

Being the parent who takes the initiative for school things, class socialmmedia groups, teacher gifts etc.

Thing is, people are more likely to (hyperbolically) complain about things they've grimaced through online.

I'm not a hen do fan, but I tried to practice what I preach when organising one recently. Just really simple things in planning that made sure I wouldn't piss people off. Had to really fight with the bride's sister about it (the bride forewarned me that she'd be a knob), so we were able to do things like refunds for late dropouts, reducing the budget rather than last minute calls for pesky add-ons.

Plus had massive smug points when people raved about the activity I organised whilst they drifted away or didn't bother with the type of thing people say they hate on hen do threads. Things organised by the PITA sister :D

Although, underrating works too! People constantly competitively underrating every aspect of their lives to seem much worse off than the other person. Race to the bottom, anyone? 😂

Same. I look really good in skinnies, they suit my bum and legs. I’d rather look/feel sexy than ‘on trend’ 🙄

DH hates the boyfriend / baggy jeans look and I’m one of those hated women on MN who likes her DH to find her attractive.

To admit that I don't hate Boris

The snacks I give my children

Not washing my hair after being on public transport (minger)

Wait.. what skinny jeans aren't fashionable 🫣

Can I join 👍

Apparently we should be absolutely delighted to become invisible to all men and society in general after the age of 50, fuck that for a game of soldiers. Skinnies have been dated since 2012 according to threads on here, yet still every shop sells loads of them and I see people wearing them everywhere. Every ailment is due to peri menopause, you can bet your bottom dollar if someone posts the most innocuous ailment within 5 posts someone will say your runny nose is due to peri.

Another biggy - MN has made me paranoid that my child with ASD will be bullied and ostracised his whole life. That one really is a sad one. He’s a lovely lad, but it’s clear that so many people will see his disability and his quirks before they see the person that he is, and that they won’t even take a moment to try. It makes me so sad.

My mid twenties daughter is a right cow to me on occasions but it was my choice to have her so i should live my live according to her preferences.

Using the garden… no kids making noise, no ball games, no dogs, no paddling pools, no trampolines, no barbecues, no inviting friends round to sit out and have a nice evening .. as far I as can make out accoring to mumsnet you can sit quietly in it from about 12pm to 5pm then that’s it’s!! Don’t even think about a hot tub.

Actually, this one is quite recent. I have a cat, he was rescued so I don't really know how old he is but at a rough guess and how long I've had him, I think around the 13-14 age.

He has become very vocal recently, I am wondering if he is going a little bit senile. At the moment sleeps outside in the garden at night which means he sometimes sits in the middle of the lawn and yowls - quite a bit - around the 6am mark. When he comes in he is still shouting, he is really, really noisy.

Every time I come onto this site, I wonder if I am going to see a post where someone is complaining about a noisy cat early in the morning that wakes them/their children up and should they have a word with the owner! 😱

@HappyBinosaur
Wear your lovely bracelet, my very stylish DD has one and loves it.
Style & Beauty is laughable on here, the recommendations for esp wedding outfits are horrendous; from frumpy to downright hideous.
I don't know anyone that wears this tunic and leggings ensemble; not stylish at all.
Wear what you like not some
dafty on MN!