One liners and quick posts on MN that have made you laugh?

[Snooks1971]

As in... tickled you.. have a wry inwards smile.. dare I say it have a silent chuckle? I don’t drink tea and so have never spat it out

There are tons... one from this week is from a thread where the teenagers had drunk all the milk at 2am leaving none for the OPs morning tea. What tickled me was a different poster empathising and saying that in a different thread the other OP had retaliated by “aggressively hoovering” outside their teen’s bedroom door.

Aggressively hoovering. Love it.

There was a recent thread by a woman asking whether she was meant to use soap to wash her body as she admitted she never properly washed/scrubbed in the shower. Someone suggested that the OP might want to use soap to wash her bum, helpfully adding "That's where poo comes from."

I was trying to search for the anal bleaching thread but inadvertently came across a similar thread to this from last year where posters were sharing the funniest things they’d seen on MN. Someone remembered a post about PFB’s and a new mum who spent the whole first night staring at her new baby daughter in awe at how anything could be so perfect and beautiful. She felt guilty showing her baby to other mums because she thought they’d feel bad that their babies were ugly in comparison. A few months later she was looking back on those first photos and was confused as it wasn’t how she’d remembered and said ‘JESUS CHRIST, she looked like someone just beat up Winnie the Pooh! that ‘oxytocin is some powerful shit’ 😅

There was a poor woman not long ago, suffering from constipation and asking for natural remedies. Plenty of suggestions followed and one poster said
"don't try them all at once, you'll shit yourself into a coma"
I couldn't stop laughing!!

That reminds me - a very recent one, one the Telly Addicts Married at First Sight Australia. Some muppet had said something daft and The OP had 'cringed herself down to a size eight' had me giggling for a while

Anal bleaching thread: lots of very witty comments there! The suggestion of popping down to Halfords for a bottle of Bumper Brite just tipped me over

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3169666-anal-bleaching#prettyPhoto

@ImprobablePuffin

It was my hedge that people kept shagging in! Definitely not a badger but that thread did cheer me up in a time of voyeuristic distress

That was my favourite thread. Thank you x

Sorry not sure how to link but the recent thread entitled " I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope , but I actually resemble a Taekwondo Instructor " had me howling with laughter .

Jacob Rees-Mogg looks like a Victorian pencil who ejaculates dust

One that sticks in my mind was a poster who was try to help her mum access her (2 years deceased) stepdad's ipad.

She described is as being "locked to a dead man's finger" which really tickled me.

The whole thread was hilarious with tales of parental tech support. Made funnier 'cos I knew exactly what they meant!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3630279-To-think-I-might-actually-die-trying-to-sort-out-DMs-iPhone?pg=1

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll - thanks for the link, I was trying to find that thread. Hilarious 😂

A french admiring poster wanted to know how she could be more french...
Cue lots of witty insights, especially liked:

I think you should take a lover immediately. Whilst smoking. And eating cheese.

Pretty sure it's in classics.

“And for the record, my private area is on display. I'm a BDSM fan. I don't want to have sex with the lights off and my cardigan on like lots of you”

This quote from the anal bleaching thread reminded me of a thread when posters had brain farts and called innocuous household objects random names:

What stands out is: Rug
Poster called it a: A floor cardigan

Still tickles me

There's one on the go at the moment where the OP asked what is up her nose and included a close-up picture of her outstretched nostril.

Somebody commented "are you sure that's a nostril? It looks like the gates of hell"

spectorIkmen Tue 28-Aug-18 19:32:30
Good job you NC for this. I can hardly bear to think of the consequences if your early release panel got to hear of all this

That AIBU thread! 😂😂😂

@lollipoprainbow

Yes David Cameron does have a shiny face !

He's like that dog in the photo who has a slice of ham over his face. Quite apt perhaps?

It may have been mentioned - my fave was when a poster said their neighbour was repeatedly shouting, "Ballsack" in the garden.

Someone replied maybe they were a fan of the French literary artist, Honorè de Balzac. Also that Balzac could be the dogs name. I can't remember exactly how it went but there were some funny replies.

Another one. There was a thread ages ago (I know there's a current one going on) about OLD phrases in people's bio that turn you off.

Some great replies on there. Someone said when a guy puts that he "doesn't take life too seriously", does that mean he goes playing on the motorway or something? I can't think of anything else when I see that phrase now.

I've been treating myself by coming back to this thread throughout the day, reading a few comments, then reading more later if I do it all at once I'll rupture my spleen from laughing too much

@Inastatus & to the original poster - thank you for that - that has really made me giggle. I had not seen that first time round.

Oh heavens I just saw this one - insomnia has some upsides

"The nutter I live with, who thinks I'm Bill Gates.

Locked himself out of internet banking for three weeks and was going to throw the fucking computer out of the window. Four trips to bank with form and passport, 24 hours to reset it. He was incandescent with rage and going to sue HSBC for every penny they'd got.

Me, show me what you're doing.

Nutter, types in ID number and goes to reset password.

Me, type in a password you can remember

Nutter, types something in, and confirm password comes up.

Nutter, types in 'Yes'

Me, ffs you have to repeat your password

Nutter, you'd think they'd fucking tell you that, how was I to know!!

Love love love mumsnet when it's funny

I'm in tears😂😂😂

That thread about several generations going for a family meal out in a pizza restaurant. Toddler struggling to cut his pizza up says "this pizza is a cunt" or similar. Ringing silence around the table but the toddler's dad has slid of his seat laughing.

The poster who had a shit day, went for a swim and got bitten by a 'cunting seal'.

“Don’t vote with your fanny.” I saw it in the Matt Hancock is gorgeous thread.