One liners and quick posts on MN that have made you laugh?

[Snooks1971]

As in... tickled you.. have a wry inwards smile.. dare I say it have a silent chuckle? I don’t drink tea and so have never spat it out

There are tons... one from this week is from a thread where the teenagers had drunk all the milk at 2am leaving none for the OPs morning tea. What tickled me was a different poster empathising and saying that in a different thread the other OP had retaliated by “aggressively hoovering” outside their teen’s bedroom door.

Aggressively hoovering. Love it.

Our stone garden walls are far less comfortable pp - perhaps you need to replace your hedge.

Talking about badgers, what about the badger thread? Sett menu and all that.

My favourite was on a recent thread about a haunted wardrobe. A poster responded 'could you sacrifice a family member op?.

@ImprobablePuffin

It was my hedge that people kept shagging in! Definitely not a badger but that thread did cheer me up in a time of voyeuristic distress

Any more hedge rustling updates?!

There is a current thread on at the minute about a lady who received a facial injury from a balloon bursting in her face (I'm sure it was painful), she is going to complain to Sainsbury's. The responses on there are very entertaining?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4163885-To-complain-to-Sainsbury-s-about-their-Valentine-s-balloons

This is hilarious!

@TheresOnlyOneJackieWeaver

"Any more hedge rustling updates?!"

No my hedge has been delightfully shag free for some time - I think the couple in question either called it quits or just decided to not shag in hedges anymore...🤷‍♀️

‘Dangerous Balonz’ in the Valentine ballon thread had me giggling for ten minutes. Genius!

Just distracted DC with Paw Patrol very brilliant and worthy pastime so I could catch up! I remember the sett menu one...

I'm very much hoping schools can go back so I can also have a go at the Mumsnet Easter Bonnet. In fact, perhaps such bonnets should be made up and down the land

A good spiky Hawthorn hedge would have been less inviting than a privet, unless Puffin's visitors were the kinky sort.

Reading that back, they had to be kinky, I would have thought, if they were doing it in a hedge.

The late, great, dear Victoria Wood springs to mind: 'Beat me on the bottom with a branch of privet' (sorry Vic)

@newusernametonight

The one with the husband eating bird fat balls almost ended me when I read it originally - he thought they were ‘artisan Scotch eggs’ 😂

Oh god I remember that one it had me howling and crying with laughter at the time 😂😂

i am still constantly pissing myself at someone sayig that lisa rinna on real housewives will "peddle any old shit for money"

i use the "peddle any old shit" line a load now and it works a bloody treat!! people think i'm highly witty and totally fabulous never

[quote ImprobablePuffin]@TheresOnlyOneJackieWeaver

"Any more hedge rustling updates?!"

No my hedge has been delightfully shag free for some time - I think the couple in question either called it quits or just decided to not shag in hedges anymore...🤷‍♀️[/quote]
@ImprobablePuffin - Thanks for the update. I’m glad you and Ddog can use your garden without being disturbed by the shedging (my attempt at an abbreviation of shagging in the hedging)!

I don’t think it’s been mentioned but one particular Style & Beauty thread has so many funny lines (just type ‘anal bleaching’ into search - it’s from 2018 and enjoy!)

I have not seen the thread where someone said that dolphins skins are too tight. However ( when I was young ) about 50 years ago , a woman took her baby to our GP and said her baby' s skin was too tight. The GP invited her to get out of his surgery. - he did not relate this to others - the mother did . - He was a man who did not laugh much so I can imagine the look on his face

@ElaineMarieBenes

I don’t think it’s been mentioned but one particular Style & Beauty thread has so many funny lines (just type ‘anal bleaching’ into search - it’s from 2018 and enjoy!)

Thank you for suggesting this thread ElaineMarieBenes

The OP is asking for suggestion on products she can use for anal bleaching.

My favourite post, so far, is this one:

Christ. I admire your thoroughness OP. I can barely get round to dying my eyebrows.

Out of sight out of mind, that's... well it's not usually my motto, but I'll happily apply it to this topic.

@kennypppppppp

i am still constantly pissing myself at someone sayig that lisa rinna on real housewives will "peddle any old shit for money"

i use the "peddle any old shit" line a load now and it works a bloody treat!! people think i'm highly witty and totally fabulous never

Isn’t that a fairly comment phrase? I don’t think it was invented on here!

Can someone explain ‘dangerous Balonz’? I mean, it’s funny if said in an Inspector Clouseau type accent/voice but does it link to another thread?

I’m laughing so hard, one of my dogs has just come to check I’m ok 🤣🤣 The surprised hedgehog cake, has taken me over the edge 🤣🤣🤣

Just saw this one on a preppers thread, discussing the downfall of the banking system and how we'd survive without money...

''I would barter my body for food.

Luckily I like bread crusts.''

There was one where someone started a thread asking AIBU to think that Cara Delevigne is not actually that pretty.

The reply, 'is that you Poppy?'
made me chuckle.

Great thread! I came on to say the Manual/Manuel “Que?” one, and also the Yoni Massage/Brian from Hull one. So many great one liners on there. If anyone has a link to that I’d be grateful.

The first ever thread I read that made me practically cry with laughter when I first joined MN was one where the OP had decided, quite late in the evening to go into her loft and bring some sheets of plywood or something similar down. She got stuck with the sheets on the loft ladder and had to call the fire brigade out (or a family member did) and when the fire brigade turned up at the door she confessed she had been wearing her swimming costume as had been trying it on at the time.
“I was wearing my swimming costume.” Anyone remember that one?

@Inastatus

Can someone explain ‘dangerous Balonz’? I mean, it’s funny if said in an Inspector Clouseau type accent/voice but does it link to another thread?

Balonz is from a thread (referenced near the start of this thread) where someone asked if they should call their baby David, James or Balonz. So Balonz is a bit of a mumsnet joke.

I think dangerous balonz is a play on dangerous balloons, from the Valentines thread which someone has linked to a few posts back where a Valentine’s balloon exploded in a poster’s face.

Actually crying with laughter at the valentines balloon thread...was laughing at this thread already but this comment...

“They do say love is blind...ba boom“

has completely finished me off 😂😂😂

@fridget - thanks for that explanation 😅

@ElaineMarieBenes

I don’t think it’s been mentioned but one particular Style & Beauty thread has so many funny lines (just type ‘anal bleaching’ into search - it’s from 2018 and enjoy!)

This is my favourite comment on this one so far - from the OP herself:

“And for the record, my private area is on display. I'm a BDSM fan. I don't want to have sex with the lights off and my cardigan on like lots of you”